My bf and I were getting frisky last night and preparing for sex when he started talking about size again. He’s really tall, 6’3, 210-215lbs, I’m average 5’4, 140-145lbs. He’s said in the past that I’m too short for his preference and last night he brought it up again but also that he thinks that a taller girl would have proportionate weight which is also why he thinks a taller person would be more in proportion for him? Idk where he was going with this, at this point he’s trailing off b/c he’s starting to realize I’m getting pissed since I started pulling my clothes back on… I point out he doesn’t even make sense b/c there’s ppl we know taller/shorter than him/me but weigh less/more and so on.
Anyways I’m quite miffed at him. Any other time, this discussion would be fine but if we’re about to have sex, all I want to hear is baby your body is perfect. But it’s also like… I think it’s fine to have preferences and my height is not going to change and my weight isn’t going to fluctuate more than +/-15 lbs in the near future, and if he thinks I’m “too short” I’ll rather break up now.
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> my height is not going to change
Yep, exactly. If it’s a big enough problem for him that you being naked and horny isn’t enough to distract him from it, I don’t see what’s going to fix that. Throw him back and wish him luck finding a taller girl who also doesn’t mind being reduced to her BMI, if one exists.
The fact that this is a repeated instance means you need to go. What was he expecting you to do? Sprout taller right in front of his eyes??
This man doesn’t love you. Break up now. There are millions of men dying for your type. Fuck him.
Miffed at him? Why the fuck are you even with him still?
I would like to ask how long have you been with him?
In no way should he be making you self-conscious about your weight or height, especially when being intimate. He chose to date you and he knew your height when he got into it.
I’m my opinion you should sit him down and have a serious discussion with him. Ask him how he feels about you and if you’re really what he wants. I wouldn’t rush into breaking up with him without at least discussing the issue at hand. Make sure he knows it’s not ok to make you feel like that about yourself and express your feelings. If he doesn’t handle it maturely, or seems uncertain at all about you being who he wants to be with I would say go ahead and end the relationship. Your significant other should never be comparing you to other woman as you should be all he wants.
I wish you the best, I hope this helps some.
That honestly would be a deal breaker to me.
It’s one thing to say my preferences is for taller girls in a discussion it belongs in. It is another thing to be having sex and told you aren’t good enough for him because you aren’t the specific height he requires.
I’d just call it.
I’m just not going to train another adult to not be rude, mean, etc. Goodbye, sir.
I would be out so fast.
He has absolutely no right to talk about your body. Fuck that. Your body is YOURS and he has NO say.
You’re not likely to ever feel comfortable or safe after these interactions with him. I wish I had left when my ex continuously talked about other ‘hot’chicks (mostly on tv..not really people IRL) or how he’d fuck them..or whatever, but couldn’t be bothered to ever compliment me. When I told him it hurt my feelings because he didn’t talk about me like that, he just stopped talking about them like that. I never felt like he actually found me attractive or wanted me.
Girl this is disgusting and this man needs to grow the fuck up.
This is the type of dude who would leave you if you got cancer. Run.
Tell him that Miracle Grow only works on plants and if he wants a taller partner, it won’t be you. Then tell him that’s okay, because you can then find someone who loves you for who you are.
But if roles were reserved and he was short you’d be in the wrong? This is so dumb.
I one time had bf that cheated on me and I asked him why and he said “because her thighs were smaller so it was easier for me”
This is something he shouldn’t be bringing up to you, let alone during sex.
Dumped.
Just grow taller!
More seriously, you should let him know that you don’t like him telling you this. I am significantly taller than my partner and brought it up. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful but she told me how she felt and I realized I was just being stupid.
Maybe it’s the same for him. A size difference can be surprising and maybe he just shared it with you but was stupid. Guys can be stupid when they can open up. 😅
>any other time, this discussion would be fine
Nope, not it wouldn’t. Go be happy.
I would be furious at him. Why does he keep bringing up your height? It’s not a big deal. I mean if he doesn’t wanna be with you he shouldn’t be with you but why does he keep picking on you about your height? Also why do you stay around for this?
You’re probably atleast 150lbs
He was being an insensitive idiot. And a lot of people here are just filled with venom.
Throw him back. There are plenty of men who would love you exactly as you are. And on your way out the door tell him you like men with more girth and stamina.
Look him up and down. Tell him, “you know, size does matter. You are not big enough for ME”.
If a person is critical of you, making negative or “you should….” comments or not attracted to “your type”. Color of hair, body type or even ethnicity, it won’t work out. Tolerating or choosing to stay, you will be choosing to guarantee you lose your self-esteem, grow resentful or depressed or all 3. Choose to leave now until a man or woman “wholeheartedly chooses YOU.” Loves and desires your body also because he loves the YOU inside that body
And communicate to him. If he requires tall because that is “his” baked in type he should choose a tall woman and not waste his, your or any not tall woman’s precious time.
He tried to shame you for an uncontrollable trait (your height) as you were undressing to have sex. That’s horrifying. Why are you with someone who actively tries to make you feel ashamed and embarrassed about your body?
Telling you you’re not his preference in an intimate moment isnt something you can come back from imo
Break up. You can’t control your height. Any man who starts to criticize your body during intimate times, especially when it’s something you can’t control, isn’t someone you can feel safe and vulnerable with.
Why exactly are you putting up with this kind of crap from him?
Dump him as he’s being repeatedly disrespectful.
Why are you still even with this guy ?
Honey, set him free to find a taller girl. This will have the added benefit of letting you find a better man. Win-win!
Yea that’s not something he would be saying if he was really into you
This is so childish. I had to scroll back up to see his age. Why is he even talking about something you can’t change. It almost sounds like he’s trying to give you a reason to break up with him.
I also thought this was funny because your bf is the same height as my partner, and I’m 4’11” 🙃
Your dude is a DA.
You were the height you are at when he met you. This isn’t going to change give or take a inch.
With that being said, listen to what he is saying. He is telling you that you are too short for him. Why he ever got involved with you, you may never know. He may not even be able to verbalize it.
Dump his DA.
Don’t waste anymore of your time on him.
This mfer is 28 and he acts like this?? It’s time to lose some weight by dumping his ass.
“Again.” Ignoring that he should’ve been gone after the first time… girl. He knows not to and still did it. And the fact you’re here asking us after repeat offenses tells us how comfortable he is negging you. I’m betting this isn’t the only thing too.
Want better and ditch his ass.
Why are you with someone who doesn’t like you?
My boyfriend and I are completely mismatched when it comes to height and weight. We’re the same height, but I weigh 192 lbs and he weighs 142 lbs. My weight has fluctuated a lot while we’ve been together, and I will also lovely mention to you that while you might not think that you are going to fluctuate much weight over the next few years, you are going into your 30s and babe, it might hit you sooner than you think. Just think about whether or not you want to be with somebody who loves you for who you are, or for how “proportionate” you are to them.
Repeatedly talking about this and making you seem inferior because you aren’t taller due to your weight/size is just a dick thing to say to your partner. It is DEFINITELY something to break up over.
Also… according to the CDC, average height for women is 5’3.5” and for men is 5’9”. So, while you are telling Shrek over there to kindly f*ck off and you’re breaking up with him, be sure to mention that maybe if he was closer to the “normal” or “average” size, perhaps he can find a proportional mate who can deal with the amount of judgmental bullshit he spews out of his ogre mouth. Just a thought.
You deserve better, girl.
[FYI, I don’t think 6’3” is ogre-sized, I’m just being an ass bc I hate pricks who judge people they are supposed to love and support.]