I’m 24 and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been good for the most part, we laugh a lot, share hobbies, and spend most of our free time together. I’ve never been the jealous type, but lately something has felt off.
A couple of weeks ago he started being glued to his phone more than usual. He would tilt the screen away when I walked by or quickly close apps. One night while he was in the shower his phone buzzed a few times. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I looked.
Right there on his home screen were Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, all logged in. I opened tinder first and saw he had been chatting with multiple women, some of the messages were pretty flirty, and bumble and hinge were basically the same. I kept looking and checked his Instagram DMs where there were even more women, and in his regular messages I saw him talking to someone he met from RentBabe before scrolling past to a few other chats. I also found that he had join some weird Telegram channels and random group chats that honestly gave me a bad feeling.
When I confronted him he said he wasn’t serious about any of them and was just seeing what’s out there. He told me I was overreacting and being controlling by going through his phone. He insists he hasn’t cheated, but it’s hard for me not to feel like the intent is there.
Now I’m wondering if I crossed a line by checking his phone or if my instincts were right. We haven’t talked much since. He says I need to trust him but I don’t know how to do that when he’s actively talking to other girls.
I don’t know if I should just try to move past it, set stricter boundaries, or see this as a dealbreaker. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I really need an outside perspective.
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Dump him
he’s on too many dating apps to count and u REALLY think he’s not cheating? or doesn’t have the intentions to? i hate to be harsh but please get some self respect & leave this loser. should u have been looking thru his phone? no. should he be on 1037428 dating apps while being in a relationship? NOOO.
He’s gaslighting and manipulating you.
This is cheating. It doesn’t matter how he defines it. If you both agreed to a monogamous relationship, then he is cheating.
He’s not worth the trouble.
He’s gaslighting you into thinking YOU are the issue.
He’s on a dating app you WHILE he is suppose to be in a RELATIONSHIP with you.
His math isn’t mathing
Girl him being on the apps and messaging women is cheating what 😭
it’s my turn to try all these dating apps/sites now lol
Unless you have an open relationship, normal boundaries are: don’t date other people. If he’s chatting with people on dating apps, he’s intending to date them.