I (28F) don’t know what to do with my bf (35M), he always seem to have an excuse why we cant meet?

r/

I feel really lost in what to do, my mum and my aunt say to leave him cause they thinks he is either currently with someone else, either an ending relationship or not happy. I do not think this is the case, but I know its a possibility.. or she thinks he is just not that into me, keeping me around incase he doesn’t find someone he likes better. I really like him, he is handy, iv seen things he had built and always come across to me as genuine, i also find him quite attractive, and is different then men I normally go for. I’m at a cross roads cause our relationship is at a stand still, and been at this place for almost a year now. he doesn’t live far from me, like 20 min drive far…… iv tried to get it to move, iv told him how I’m feeling like he doesn’t care about me or our relationship, iv told him I don’t want my birthday to pass without meeting and its fastly approaching. I don’t want to walk away but as more time goes by without meeting I’m feeling like I might have to. I don’t know how I can communicate to him that he has to make some plan to meet for me to feel its worth staying. cause I’m aware almost 1 year of being together and not meeting is crazy when its not long distance. he did have some health problems last year that persisted for a few months so it was understandable. I haven’t told him to meet me somewhere like cafĂ© or something cause I’m scared he wont show……. I need advice.

Comments

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  2. SlowTheRain Avatar

    It’s been a year. He lives 20 minutes away, and you’ve never met. I’m sorry to say he’s not your boyfriend. Move on. It doesn’t even matter why he won’t see you.

    You deserve someone who is at least willing to spare 20 minutes in a year to see you face to face. I’m ribbing you on that last bit. You deserve way more than that.

  3. Princess-Pancake-97 Avatar

    If he wanted to, he would.

  4. Traeyze Avatar

    Look, even if we accept the idea that he is who he says he is and isn’t catfishing you or whatever… isn’t a year a good line in the sand to show that he is just incapable or unwilling to fit you into his life?

    Further, if after a year you’re still so scared of him not showing up you won’t ask him to even a cafe or whatever that shows that part of you doesn’t believe in this anymore either.

    I’m just going to hope you haven’t sent him any money but if you have write it off. You’ve spent a year on this, time to go find a relationship that can actually exist.

  5. La_Baraka6431 Avatar

    So… you’ve NEVER MET HIM???

    GIIIIRRRRLLLL.

    COME ON.

    You KNOW the truth here.

  6. Haunting-Aardvark709 Avatar

    Block him. He’s not your boyfriend. At best, he’s a guy who is not interested enough to travel 20 minutes to meet you. AT worst, he’s married or just someone catfishing you.

    You deserve so much better than this zero effort. Cut him off and get out into the real world and meet real people.

  7. wanDUH Avatar

    20 mins away?? And still no interactions face to face? That’s just ridiculous. If he doesn’t put effort into seeing you, leave. Its not worth waiting for someone who doesn’t prioritize the relationship at all. Save yourself the pain..and just let it go. The longer you stay..the longer you wait…the more it’ll be hurting yourself..the wasted time….its not even worth putting yourself thru that shit. You deserve better. And so do I! I really should take my own advice haha