Hi I could really use some insight. My boyfriend ‘33M’ doesn’t want me ‘24F’ to join the airforce. We’ve known each other for over 2 years now. Initially starting dating last October and he broke up with me in January because we were having a lot of issues , fighting a lot etc. During this time of being broken up I decided to pursue the air force, it’s always been a dream of mine and I have regretted not joining sooner. The day I took the asvab he reached out to me letting me know he would love to talk and hopes I’m doing well. We talked on facetime that night and basically told each other we still loved each other and that we needed the time away from each other to heal and grow. I told him that I was most likely going to join the airforce, he didn’t like it at all. At the time I was also trying to get into radiology school, I didn’t get in so i took that as a sign to join. Fast forward to now he has done everything he can to convince me not to join. He tells me that he will provide for me, to reapply to school, that I can move in and he will take care of me and even pay for my school. He wants to build a life and a family with me. He tells me that he has never loved anyone the way that he loves me and he doesn’t think he can do a long distance relationship. However I am unhappy living here and in my current circumstance. I feel like if I choose the military i’m sacrificing the man that i really truly love, and if i stay here i’m sacrificing a dream of mine. What would you do if you were in my situation??? I am so overwhelmed and need some thoughts.
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Rape in the military is no joke. Please reconsider.
Well you have to choose on this one indeed
First of all, never ever depend on a man.
Second, why is he so suddenly trying to lock you down?
I’m curious what were your previous fights about.
I would join the military because it’s your life. Let your TIs be your mentors and make sure you read the UCMJ front to back. If this man is for you, he will be there no matter what. If not, tell him to stay out of the way of the one who will be. You’ll enjoy the AF, especially if you like a challenge academically.
Military is lowkey fucked, and rn its doing some bad shit and your commander in chief would be Donald trump so. Just be careful, and yes the conditions there are sometimes fucking awful. Look at the studies of rape and abuse, it’s not worth it. That’s why they give ppl benefits you usually don’t see. That’s why people are usually forced into going. Look up research papers, testimonials. I used to think about it back when I was poor and lost but I could never.
Well if he truly loves you then he should let you do you and he can wait for you. If you’re meant to be you’ll be together one way or another. I’d say follow your dreams and if he’s the guy he’ll be waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.
I don’t like him.