I (22) usually get up early, around 6 or 7 and my boyfriend (37) will get up at 8 and head off at 9. Because I wake up early I like making breakfast for us both, because I do it so much its kind of an unofficial chore. When I have time I’ll cook us breakfast but if I’m in a rush I’ll just make us vegemite on toast.
This morning I didn’t get around to making breakfast, I had to catch up on some online course work I didn’t do the day before and got distracted doing that. So my boyfriend was pretty pissed that he didn’t have any breakfast for when he had to go out the door. AITA?
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I (22) usually get up early, around 6 or 7 and my boyfriend (37) will get up at 8 and head off at 9. Because I wake up early I like making breakfast for us both, because I do it so much its kind of an unofficial chore. When I have time I’ll cook us breakfast but if I’m in a rush I’ll just make us vegemite on toast.
This morning I didn’t get around to making breakfast, I had to catch up on some online course work I didn’t do the day before and got distracted doing that. So my boyfriend was pretty pissed that he didn’t have any breakfast for when he had to go out the door. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didnt make my boyfriend any breakfast for on hes way to work. I feel like an asshole because it has become a chore for me that i usually do.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Are his hands broken? He can’t pop a couple of slices of toast in and spread vegemite?
He’s 37: he’s perfectly capable of making his own breakfast without whining about it.
NTA
NTA He was up for a full hour before he had to leave. I’m sure he could have carved out a few minutes to make toast if he really wanted it.
He’s 15 years older than you, nearly 40 and can’t make toast? You’re 22.. you don’t have a boyfriend, you have a captor.
Your boyfriend is 15 years older than you and can’t make himself some breakfast? It’s lucky he has you to show him how to adult. SMH
Hell no. If you usually make it, he should understand that sometimes there will be gaps in the system as a result of being human. If I got used to my gf making breakfast and then she didn’t one time, I would only appreciate what she gives me each morning because of it. It would show me what my life would be like without her. NTA
NTA
If it’s not something that was agreed that you would do rather something you just did out of convenience or kindness, then he has no reason to be mad. however, if it was agreed, it’s something you’d do, then a heads up would be suffice.
NTA. However YWBTA if you did not tell him you wouldn’t be able to make breakfast. I cook dinner every night for my wife and I. If it got to be dinner time and I had not cooked anything without telling her, I would be the AH.
Never make breakfast for him again, he doesn’t appreciate you. Also, you’re 22 and learning…don’t fall for this “it’s my unofficial chore” bs. Relationship about give and take, it takes two to make it work.
ESH.
You’re dating a loser who is unable to find someone his own age because they are experienced enough to know to avoid him.
NTA, but it would be nice to give him a heads up that you wouldn’t have time so it isn’t unexpected. That way, he could get up a little earlier and make some himself or have time to pick something up on the way to work. Just a courtesy, “Hey, I don’t have time to make breakfast this morning, I’ve got to catch up on school work,” would be fine.
It’s sounds like he’s a groomer.
If you were busy working why didn’t he offer to make YOU toast? He’s the AH.
Please stop dating him. He is 15 years older than you – why do you think he isn’t with a woman his age? Because they wouldn’t put up with his shit, like this.
He’s trying to manipulate you (and I’m betting this isn’t the only instance or way) bc you’re young.
NTA OP, you were busy and had to do your course first.
He should also be able to make it on his own, and not all the time be helped by you.
NTA he could have made toast for both of you, since you were obviously focused and busy. Also I’m not sure about this age gap, he’s 15 years older but he’s acting pretty immature
NAH – honestly, if you’ve taken on breakfast as an “unofficial chore” and then don’t do it, you at least owe him a bit of warning. Wouldn’t have been hard to give a shout out, “I’m still catching up on last night. Didn’t have time to make anything. Grab something on your own,” while he has time to do so.
It doesn’t rise to the level of being an asshole, but being surprised by a change in routine doesn’t make him one either.
Not addressing the age gap here. Not really part of the equation.
If I routinely managed getting my wife’s car maintained and then got too busy to do it, I’d think I’d at least owe here notice of that so she knows to set aside a little time to get it done herself. It’s not significantly different from that.
Why are there so many women asking these kinds of questions. Why.
Why do you let yourself into these bad partnerships? I don’t understand the lack of self worth.
Yeah NTA, he should be happy to are doing this on the regular and not get upset when for once he has to make his own
NTA, but fyi He’s dating you specifically to mold you into his perfect little submissive doll. He doesn’t respect you as a person and doesn’t respect your autonomy. He’s way too old for you
>I (22)
>boyfriend (37)
NTA
NTA, he’s 40 and can’t make his own breakfast?
Tell him he’s a full grown adult and is perfectly capable of getting his own breakfast. You’re not his mother so stop treating him like a child. Stop doing anything for him that he’s come to expect. My guess is that he never returns the favor and doesn’t do nice things for you. If that’s the case, dump him.
YWNBTA
Really think how this looks to us and consider whether you are a partner or a slave to this man. Any decent person wouldn’t react like this.
YTA to yourself for not seeing that a full-grown man is looking for a younger woman to mold into the little servant wife.
Tell Leonardo DiCaprio to make his own damn toast.
If you want to be in a relationship where you’re ok with these demands, by all means, stay with him.
But it sounds like you’re not ok with this. Toast turns into all the house work, all the kid-raising….you know what your future looks like. You decide.
🤢
NTA ya might as well get out now. He’s 37, he’s fully cooked, this is how he is. You need and deserve better from a man.
Sounds like he’s taking it for granted, rather than being grateful that you make his breakfast every morning.
I would stop making it altogether because he’s assuming he’s entitled to you cooking his breakfast.
Being a bit disappointed is one thing, but getting angry because you were too busy to make YOURSELF breakfast, so you didn’t have time to make his is highly inappropriate.
NTA
NTA.
The way he acted however, says a lot about him as a person. He is fully capable of making himself breakfast, and a relationship is supposed to go both ways- if you’re busy, he should be offering to make you some food. The age gap is concerning, I’d be a bit cautious moving forward if I were you.
What did his last slave die of?!? How did he break both his arms?!?
More importantly, do you want to be treated like his servant forever? He can’t make toast?!
He wants a mammy not a partner, which is ironic because he’s not far off being old enough to be your dad… NTA.
Your boyfriend is dating you because he can’t get away with this behavior with women his own age. He assumes because you’re younger you’ll just take it and do what he wants. I know you feel differently but he’s almost 40 and you’re only a few years out of HS. You need to get away from this over grown child. NTA
NTA. He sounds very immature. Normal adults are able to roll with the punches. If he is hungry and has no time he can stop on his way to work and get something. Speaking as someone who is older than you I would not put up with this from my boyfriend and speaking as someone who used to date older guys, the stereotype is often is true that they date younger because they have issues.
My question for you is : is he agreeable when things are perfect or he gets his way 95% of the time? 90% of the time? 80% of the time ? 75% of the time? I have dumped multiple men for being in the 95-90 % category, my life is too short for being with such control freaks.
NTA/ He is a grown man and if he is that hungry he can make himself something or order something. So because you normally make breakfast he now has an expectation of you making it every morning. NOPE! Not to mention could he not make it for you two every once in awhile?