Yes, as mentioned in the title, I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve had crushes, but the girls I’ve been in love with haven’t accepted me. I didn’t want to hang out with a girl just to have a relationship. And I’m 26. I guess I always gravitated towards popular girls and chased impossible romances. I’ve never hugged a girl, held hands, or kissed a girl… I read somewhere that 18-25 is the peak age for men. I missed that deadline. I’m a lawyer, but things aren’t going well. I have no money. And I have to live in the family home. Even though I have good friends, we’re no longer on the same page. I have friends around me.I’ve changed. My perspective has changed. And in my head, I’m alone. I had dreams, but now they seem impossible. I see women around me supporting their boyfriends. Those men are truly lucky. I’ve seen my girlfriend take his hand in hers and kiss it when she has a scratch on her hand. After that, I decided to write here. I’m a boxer and have sparring matches occasionally. Sometimes my eyebrow bleeds, sometimes my lip, and no one asks what happened. It’s great to have support in your life. I don’t get any support from anyone. I fall in love and always end up losing. The last six years have been really bad. And I can’t find a way out.This loneliness is tiring. Friends’ betrayals, girls trying to get me to fall in love for attention, my family constantly telling me to get out of the house and do whatever it is. Everything is exhausting. I work so hard, I can’t handle it anymore.I don’t know if it makes me weak to just want someone to support me in my life and struggle to find that person. I just want you to help me. How can I get out of this situation? How can I end this fatigue? How can I transform my loveless and dark life into a loving and bright one? I need your help because I’m exhausted.
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Are you in therapy right now?
You should try to see a therapist. I don’t think people on reddit can do much for you tbh
You are a bad mental place man. You need a reset. For starters, if you feel you fell in love with a woman that you weren’t in a relationship with, you didn’t. You had a crush on her. You only new an outside imagine of her and probably idealized her a fair bit. Love is something that comes after a while, after limerence, after the “all over each other, the person has no flaws”, after you have truly seen a person and accept their flaws. A crush is not love, passion is not love, they are very different things.
Also, I find that success with women is much more about the vibe you put out than other stuff. Yeah, for a few woman the lack of money will be a deal breaker. Living with your parents my be a deal breaker. But to not every one of them. They seem to pursue qualities such as confidence, ambition, drive and a capability of having fun. If you are not in that headspace, it’s like they can smell it from a mile away and avoid you like the plague.
On top of that, pretty much every guy gets a lot of rejection. I’ve had 5 long-term (+- 2 years) girlfriends in my life. I’ve been rejected at least 100 times by girls from high school, college, work, parties, friend groups, english classes, etc. That’s just how it goes. It’s not about not being rejected, but how do we cope with that terrible sting that comes with it.
In your shoes, I’d hit therapy before putting myself out there. It seems facing the prospect of rejection right now – which is a very real possibility any time you hit on someone – might take a toll too heavy to burden right now. Try your best to face your fears, to deal with your traumas and all of that bullshit we all lug around from time to time. It really helps. It got me out of a VERY tough spot a few years ago and I’d recommend it 10/10. Being happy on your own will increase your chance of success with women exponentially after that. Take care!
Sorry, but yikes. Not to your situation, but how creepy your post reads.
Not sure if this is how you interact with people in real life but if it is then you really need to get some help. I’m concerned that even if you were to start dating you’d build it up too much in your head and put her on a pedestal. You have this fantasy in your head of relationships and reality is never going to live up to it.