Do you consider this as cheating? He only follows two NSFW subreddits – r/collegegirlsnextdoor and r/asstastic.
He’s had the account for 3 months and has made 6 comments on different pictures and videos of naked girls. Some of them are the
” every up voter will get a š¼ pic” and he liked and responded with “very nice” or “worth it”
“Drop a ā¤ļø and I’ll send the first 60 guys nudes” to which he like md and replied ” wow ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø”
I’m fucking broken over this. We have a 5.5 month old baby. I haven’t been very active in the bedroom since having the baby but damn I had a second degree tear, multiple first degree tears and I’m currently dealing with postpartum anxiety. Not to mention my complete lack of self confidence right now because of being postpartum. So this was really not what I needed right now.
Do you consider this cheating?
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Would I consider sexually interacting with others cheating? Of course I would.
Iām so sorry. Your spouse is a pig, you donāt deserve this.
Do you consider it as cheating? That’s what’s important here.
Do you feel like your husband crossed a boundary and cheated on you?
Firstly Iām so sorry to hear this, this utterly sucks! Yes, it does count as cheating. You have to confront him with what you found. If he was just following these accounts you might be able justify it, but commenting is engaging and completely a step too far in my opinion. Please know this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him having no respect for you and no self control, youāre gorgeous ā¤ļø
The man just needs a release and some private time. I donāt think this is a threat to you.
Wait… there is nudes photos on here?
Collegegirlsnextdoor would suggest he has had his eye on one of your neighbors, so yes.
Asstastic just means he wanted other women to send him pictures of their asses.
If he felt the need to hide it from you then it’s worth having a conversation with him. Why does he need to hide stuff?
This should have been discussed before hand and it’s his fault he didnāt. He should have asked if you consider it cheating.
It needs to be talked about and you should get to the bottom of what is going on and let him know that you consider it cheating… Which is probably why he hid it.
Iām in a new relationship and I used to go to happy ending massages. I straight up asked my new girlfriend if she would consider it cheating if I still did that instead of going behind her back. She straight up said, yes. So I don’t do that. I still get massages and she doesnāt question me and I donāt get happy endings, cause Iām not a cheater.
I’ve talked about porn, of, all kinds of stuff. It should be talked about.
But why ask when there’s plenty to see already. Like I just opened his reddit and literally every single post was some girls boobs, vag or ass right there in your face. Why go asking for more? It doesn’t make sense. Why risk a 14 year relationship?
To me, cheating is when it involves interacting with others. Porn is just passively watching. But commenting & liking is engaging and inviting the person to engage back with you. Interacting with others sexually is the start of a slippery slope of youāre in a monogamous relationship.
Have you talked about porn before, what is ok and what isnāt for you?
I agree with you, it’s one thing to browse and another to engage. I would consider this cheating and feel very betrayed. It stings extra that you just had his child. I’m so sorry that you’re going through that. Having a child is hard on both parents, and he may not be at his best right now either. Does he treat you well and make you happy otherwise? I think with honest communication, effort, and rebuilding of trust, this is something I could forgive. I would recommend seeing a therapist together. Good luck, you deserve happiness, love, and loyalty <3
This is exactly how it started with my ex husband. It eventually (over years) turned into physical cheating. But started with comments just like that to girls on Facebook.
Donāt get married youngā¦
It depends on what you see as cheating. I would definitely NOT be okay with what he did. Me personally is not okay with live chat porn, strippers, flirting or sex. I don’t mind if he watches regular porn tho.
But I’m so sorry for you. If it bothers you you really need to have a conversation with him!
Every couple should negotiate and set their own ground rules, and there are lots of grey areas with this stuff. But in my opinion, merely looking at pictures or videos is not cheating. Whereas interacting (texting, chatting, flirting, hiring, etc) with other women (including models & strippers) is definitely cheating.
You should tell him exactly what your expectations are and be specific. Hopefully you can come to an agreement and hopefully heāll have enough integrity to actually honor the agreement. If not, you might need to pursue couples counseling