Throwaway account.
I (19f) and my sister (16f) live with my mom and dad who are in their 40s. Since the age of 14ish, i realized my parents, particularly my mom, had started doing special things with my sister and not with me. They’d get her gifts and take her out to eat while I stayed home. Usually I didn’t even know they were going out until they came back or my sister sent me a photo of whatever she was doing. My mom’s reasoning for this was that “[Sister] is going through a rough time. She needs extra attention right now.”
My sister has always been a bit…vain, for lack of a better term and the problem my mom was referring to acne. One little pimple was a MASSIVE freak out where are refused to go to school or leave the house.
I got my first job at 15 so I started buying my own products. Makeup, skincare, snacks, anything a teenager would typically buy. My little sister would steal anything I brought in the house. I complained to my parents but they brushed it off for two years, continuing to buy all her skincare products and snacks while she stole mine. She learned there weren’t consequences to her actions so she never stopped.
Now she’s 16 and spoiled. She doesn’t work and my parents pay for everything for her. She’s been through a few phones cause she’s careless with them. My mom does all her chores and laundry and whenever she tries to put her foot down and get her to do chores, she threatens to 💀 herself.
Today i worked from 7am to 5pm and have a chronic migraine condition. I got home around 5:30pm with a really bad headache. I took my medication for it and told my mom how bad it was and that I was going to lay down with an icepack for awhile.
For context, my bedroom is in the basement. There’s my room and a rec room with a TV and a couch. We also have a TV upstairs with a couple couches. From my room, I can hear my sister starting to get loud with my mom. She’s demanding to have her friend, her friends boyfriend, and her boyfriend over to watch horror movies. My mom says yes to avoid conflict and at 7:45, I’m woken to 4 teenagers stumbling downstairs and shouting. I don’t fault them cause they’re still young and didn’t know about my headache. I text my mom and ask if they can watch TV upstairs tonight. She says no, she’s watching something. I ask her if she could maybe switch Tvs with them cause certainly that would be quieter. She says no and that I don’t own the basement. Fair enough.
I go back upstairs in an hour to take more medication and my mom blows up at me for being difficult. I feel like i’m going to puke and can’t see straight so I just break down and cry. She says I’m doing it on purpose to make her feel bad and I claim she’s been making shitty parental decisions in regards to how she treats my sister and me differently. She told me that wasn’t true and I was being rude so I went back to my room.
Now I’m worried she might be right. AITA? Am I being unreasonable?
Comments
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Throwaway account.
I (19f) and my sister (16f) live with my mom and dad who are in their 40s. Since the age of 14ish, i realized my parents, particularly my mom, had started doing special things with my sister and not with me. They’d get her gifts and take her out to eat while I stayed home. Usually I didn’t even know they were going out until they came back or my sister sent me a photo of whatever she was doing. My mom’s reasoning for this was that “[Sister] is going through a rough time. She needs extra attention right now.”
My sister has always been a bit…vain, for lack of a better term and the problem my mom was referring to acne. One little pimple was a MASSIVE freak out where are refused to go to school or leave the house.
I got my first job at 15 so I started buying my own products. Makeup, skincare, snacks, anything a teenager would typically buy. My little sister would steal anything I brought in the house. I complained to my parents but they brushed it off for two years, continuing to buy all her skincare products and snacks while she stole mine. She learned there weren’t consequences to her actions so she never stopped.
Now she’s 16 and spoiled. She doesn’t work and my parents pay for everything for her. She’s been through a few phones cause she’s careless with them. My mom does all her chores and laundry and whenever she tries to put her foot down and get her to do chores, she threatens to 💀 herself.
Today i worked from 7am to 5pm and have a chronic migraine condition. I got home around 5:30pm with a really bad headache. I took my medication for it and told my mom how bad it was and that I was going to lay down with an icepack for awhile.
For context, my bedroom is in the basement. There’s my room and a rec room with a TV and a couch. We also have a TV upstairs with a couple couches. From my room, I can hear my sister starting to get loud with my mom. She’s demanding to have her friend, her friends boyfriend, and her boyfriend over to watch horror movies. My mom says yes to avoid conflict and at 7:45, I’m woken to 4 teenagers stumbling downstairs and shouting. I don’t fault them cause they’re still young and didn’t know about my headache. I text my mom and ask if they can watch TV upstairs tonight. She says no, she’s watching something. I ask her if she could maybe switch Tvs with them cause certainly that would be quieter. She says no and that I don’t own the basement. Fair enough.
I go back upstairs in an hour to take more medication and my mom blows up at me for being difficult. I feel like i’m going to puke and can’t see straight so I just break down and cry. She says I’m doing it on purpose to make her feel bad and I claim she’s been making shitty parental decisions in regards to how she treats my sister and me differently. She told me that wasn’t true and I was being rude so I went back to my room.
Now I’m worried she might be right. AITA? Am I being unreasonable?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called out my mom’s favoritism and now I don’t know if I was being dramatic
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA at all, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Get locks for your room and for your makeup, etc, and start looking into moving out as soon as you can.
NTA. It might be comforting to know that you’re growing up to be a decent, and competent, person, which will enable you to have a good life. But it’s gotta be misery living in that house. Get out as soon as you can.
You’re not wrong to call out favoritism. Even if she won’t admit it, the way she treats your sister vs you is super obvious. NTA
Is your Dad preferential too?
NTA but know nothing changes. I have a narcissistic mother like that, and my brother was/is the golden child whereas I’m the black sheep. Mother didn’t deny her favoritism even when called out when I was a teen. At end and in my 40’s: I cut both my mother and brother off almost 10 yrs ago. Best decision- no regrets – especially when it comes to protecting my own children from toxic family