I’m (41m) on a vacation with my family (wife and 4 kids). We first stopped at my in-laws house in one city. They weren’t there. We were just dropping something off but did stay there for an hour or so taking a break from the drive. We then visited them at another condo they own in a different city. We then all travelled to their vacation house. So I have been in 3 properties that they own in the last few days. In all 3, there was a dirty toilets (pee stains and poop particles on the sides. Gross.). They accused me and my kids of making the messes. I clarified that it was all like that when we got there. She believes me but she insists that I should have told her about it or cleaned it myself. I think it’s weird to tell your MIL that her toilets are dirty and she says it’s weird NOT to. I asked her how many times in her life she’s told someone that their toilets were dirty and she said never. Who is right? Is it weird to expect your SIL to tell her when her toilets are dirty?
These are all very nice properties that they use frequently. Her and I are both very fastidious and clean people. I’ve never made a mess of someone else’s toilet without cleaning it, and she knows that. One was some construction people that had been in the house, another was my brother in law who had been there last, and the other was probably my FIL who just didn’t say anything or notice apparently. I do pity her (slightly) that she has to go around cleaning all of these toilets but she refuses to have house cleaners, she just expects me to clean houses when I’m on vacation (her words).
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as purpleddit posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe purpleddit JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
And please be honest. If you think it’s normal to be expected to tell my ILs that their toilets are dirty or else clean them myself, then I will admit to being in the wrong. I said I thought that it was really weird and I will apologize to her for saying that.
I would never tell someone their toilet is dirty. That is beyond tacky and all the way into rude. I don’t think I would clean it either. I may be tempted to do a quick swipe with a wipe or brush, but I would feel absolutely no obligation nor would I feel someone were obligated to clean my messy toilet as a guest in my home. Who tf thinks like that?
She is delusional. first of all, do her eyes not work? Does she not see that her toilets are dirty? Did she not look at the bathrooms before she had guests? Would she expect any guests to tell her her toilets are
Don’t buy her into her crazy if she can’t be bothered to clean her toilets for guests, then I would never visit her in her home again .
I’m laughing out loud because this is ridiculous!
No, I’ve never commented on the cleanliness of someone’s toilets. The literal only thing I can think of is she purposely left her toilets a mess to prove a point that she isn’t wrong for making remarks to someone else about their dirty toilet.
I 1000% judge people’s houses by the cleanliness of their toilets when visiting. I have had a roommate situation when I was 19 where they allowed mold to grow all over their toilet while I scrubbed mine weekly with bleach and they kept trying to have their guests use my toilet and I refused because I didn’t want to clean up after random people or spare lazy butts the embarrassment that should have made them clean their own toilet! And I still never said anything to them about how gross I thought it was.
My MIL would always come into my house and tell us how we were going to change things to suit her liking. I have never walked into anyone’s home and told them it was not up to my standards in any way. If you don’t like someone’s house, you just don’t visit them at home. You don’t know what they’re going through or what physical, emotional, or mental issues they may be having. It’s no one’s place to say anything, in my opinion.
But I get so mad when I clean my whole house for guests and then they don’t even use the bathroom lol all that work for nothing!
The one where she wasn’t there I can kiiiiind of understand: she thinks of you as another tidy person (perhaps the only other in her whole family?) and expected you would report if her house was being left in an unacceptable state while she was away. Not sure why she thought you’d CLEAN SOMEONE ELSE’S SHIT, but I can see where she might have expected you to tattle.
The other two properties? No idea. She’s got eyeballs, right? And they work?