Feel free to check my last post out, but it mainly discussed how my partner and I were finally setting boundaries with his mother after years of dealing with her poor behavior off and on.
Well… She sent her first long text saying that she doesn’t understand why I think she doesn’t like me because she’s always said nice things and has been a support and that her “main issue has been that she doesn’t work.”
(I’m in school full-time and doing great despite having a developmental disability, complex trauma, and mental health issues.)
She then said she “just wanted to let him know I can reach out if I want to, but she’s not going to do it first, and that he doesn’t have to respond; she just wanted to get her thoughts out.”
Well, my partner ended up sending an even longer response, making it clear where we stand and why, since she seems to still not get it, and then he closed the door on the topic again and asked how her day was. Woo!!
I know we still have a long way to go, but this feels like success so far, and I’m so proud of my partner for growing so much with me when it comes to this stuff because I’m honestly not sure our relationship would survive without us having these breakthroughs.
I thought about reaching out and explaining in full depth how I really feel and telling her I discussed it with my own therapist, but I don’t think it would be for the best. My fear is it won’t do what I want it to do, and it’ll just open another floodgateof bullshit before school starts again for me.
Feel free to leave any thoughts or comments you guys have on this! I love discussing this kind of stuff, and this community has really helped me find the best ways to protect our peace.
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Other posts from /u/January_Blues7:
She doesn’t like that we’ve started to set boundaries with her, 1 month ago
Trying to pull away from JNMIL and it’s already been interesting.., 2 months ago
I need some serious advice and emotional support after today, 3 months ago
Would you consider this to be raising a child?, 10 months ago
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You can certainly try to reach out. How long have you been with her son? It might be worth a shot so that MAYBE y’all can have a relationship going forward. If THAT doesn’t work, I’d wash my hands of her.
Focus on school. If she explodes, you don’t want to get distracted.
Sounds like your partner handled it well, setting clear boundaries while being polite. You’re wise to resist engaging further with her text; it’s unlikely to resolve anything and might escalate the situation. Focus on maintaining your boundaries and prioritizing your peace. Good job advocating for yourselves!