MIL our relationship changed forever

Hello out there, fellow daughter in laws. This is going to be a complicated one. What would you have done in this situation? Here’s what we decided to do after a 12 year relationship with my husband’s mother and her husband… Last week, as my husband and I were leaving MIL house, we pulled her aside because we wanted to bring up some things that were bugging us/behaviors we weren’t ok with regarding our children. When its time to say goodbye, she prolongs the visits by stalling and stalling and stalling and the other night was the last straw when she got our 3 year old son on her ATV and started zipping around the yard with no helmets. When my husband said “hey that’s enough we need to go” she responded with the statement “ok, I guess dad is going to stop our fun and says it’s time to go.” whatever, just usual grandma stuff, right? Her ENTIRE family was standing outside so we couldn’t really bring it up and tried to spare her feelings by leaving it until the next time we saw her. (couple of days later) now, as I was getting ready to tell her, instead, something else that was weighing even heavier on my heart came out instead: her lack of support for my husband and I decision for him to become a police officer. She has been a dispatcher for years, and her husband ex cop/detective. They both have been “supportive” in their own way, (telling us ALL the horrible things that come with being a cop, divorce is almost guaranteed, we probably can’t handle it, etc.) basically protecting a ton of their own personal experiences on ours and saying we will basically be in hell like they were (both divorced and drinking problems.) Now the thing with my husband and I is we have talked this over for about a year and have built up a large support network, the police DP he wants to work for is entirely different from theirs, we both go to counseling, and have a strong faith. lots going for us that the in-laws sadly lacked. When I brought up to MIL we don’t feel very supportive, I was nervous, because as I was saying it her face and eyes became so angry and she lost it. She started venting about how terrible her career is and “im sorry but when my son wants to go into a career where he could get shot and people treat him like shit” and “I have done so much work and have been unappreciated for years” so again projecting a lot of her stuff onto our situation. Ok, sounds, normal-ish right? Well then the next night we all sit down again to talk and she is pissed. She said I attacked her and I was extremely aggressive with her. I am sometimes passive aggressive with her and I don’t speak up when I should when things bother me, try to let shit roll off my shoulders and do a good job at just moving on but have also bit my tongue for years so maybe its because I haven’t spoken up to her about stuff that’s bugged me before and that’s why it came across aggressive? When she was the one screaming in my face about it I tried de escalating quickly because I realized it was a very sensitive topic for her. She said some other things like how she feels she’s always last or least important to us out of all the other family we have (my side of the family which lives 10 min away from us. She lives 45 and works full time where my mom works 3 days a week. We make efforts to see them OFTEN. She then said WE NEED TO GET ALONG SO I CAN SEE MY GRANDKIDS. True colors right there, that also hurt my feelings because I’ve been working so hard to keep the peace and actually get close to her. Her husband also blew up at my husband and was like how dare you ask me questions and “advice” and then turn around and now you don’t feel like I was supported. were done get out of my life. big blow up and overreaction. My husband and I both remained calm, did not swear, did not name call, did not yell even once. A bit of history: When we got married I told her I wanted no alcohol at our wedding and that we would provide champagne. Even told her my sensitivity to alcohol and my wishes for the wedding and she kindly said ok I understand. Then she felt we didn’t include her enough in the wedding planning and demanded a dance with my husband during the wedding and we said sure. Anyways she brought all the hard liquor you could think of, got her and her entire family wasted (17 year old son, 19 yo son, 18 yo son parents and herself) one of her sons was groomsman and ended up vomiting all over bathroom. Her mom stole all the leftover party favors that were jars of organic honey I was going to take home. I was so beyond hurt and broken and still to this day have a hard time forgiving her. she never apologize just made it all about her and how her feelings were hurt by feeling left out and disrespected. This was about 5 years ago. We all sat down and said we want to start over and try to have an adult relationship. Getting the picture yet? So after the wedding things did get better for a while. Just recently things started feeling tense again out of no where and she started overstepping with our kids and acting like we weren’t in the room sometimes and just dumb control stuff here and there. So after she freaked out we had to leave and a texted them both and said please call, they both ignored it until a couple of days later when she called me and said “I can’t think about this fight over the weekend, I work, so lets talk about it in person tomorrow or next night.” They came out, sat down on chairs across from us, stone cold look son their faces, I started by saying sorry for the bad timing on bringing the subject up, didn’t mean to offend, They said thanks for the apology but kept drawing it out and were looking for a fight. We stayed calm because our plan after they were done venting and telling us how terrible we were was to tell them we no longer want a relationship with them that’s close in any way. They are still welcome to see our kids and see us we would never keep our kids from them because we decided before we had kids we wouldn’t let bad blood between our parents get in the way of our kids and their grandparents relationships and we meant that. So she said “Is that what you really want? to my husband, he said no its not what I want but its what we feel is best.” she said ok have a great night in a angry sarcastic way stomped off and started slamming car doors screaming at her husband to get into the f-ing car while he hung back and said we were something else, were only doing this because what they said about cop stuff “doesn’t fit our narrative” and that WE WERE GOING TO CAUSE THEM TO GET A DIVORCE. We just stared at them dumbfounded as they left and walked inside feeling gutted, but more relieved than we have felt in years. So my 2 questions: Is what we did right? and, should we be worried about how they will treat our children.