Hi everyone , please let me know your thoughts about this . How would you feel, react , would you address or would you just let it go ?
Hi everyone , please let me know your thoughts about this . How would you feel, react , would you address or would you just let it go ?
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Other posts from /u/Tricky-Group5973:
Update :MIL won’t talk with us anymore as we refused to go to dinner to hers when my sister was in England for 7 days only and we already met them 3 times that week ! She creates drama every time my family visit me wanting to be involved in everything we do., 4 months ago
Update :MIL won’t talk with us anymore as we refused to go to dinner to hers when my sister was in England for 7 days only and we already met them 3 times that week ! She creates drama every time my family members visit me as she wants to spend time with them all the time ., 4 months ago
Update :MIL won’t talk with us anymore as we refused to go to dinner to hers when my sister was in England for 7 days only and we already met them 3 times that week !, 4 months ago
Please advise 🙏, 4 months ago
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I don’t understand. Your family is giving your MIL expensive gifts, which she is then giving to your SIL? Why is your family giving her gifts?
If they were gifts, she is free to do what she wants with them.
I’m not understanding. If your family gives your MIL a gift, why would you expect that she would give it to you?
I don’t understand what you’re saying can you explain in a different way?
I don’t think you understand what a gift is.
Your MIL is shady. Address it directly.
I tried to get a sense of your history with MIL from your posts but I think I’m not understanding everything.
Tell me if this is correct: your family is wealthy. Hers is not. Since you moved to England, she has been openly rude, mocking, and generally unpleasant. Then she had a temper tantrum when you couldn’t see her when your sister was in town (even though you saw her three times the week prior). Now she is giving away a very special and meaningful gift tied to your child’s christening.
Assuming that is correct, she’s not a nice person and she doesn’t like you. It may be about money or not. She may just be an asshole who would have had a problem with you regardless.
Giving away a necklace so special and tied to her grandchild seems like a big f-u (but it is her right to do whatever she wants with it).
My advice: she’s shown you who she is. Believe her. Don’t say anything about the necklace, but stop putting in effort. She doesn’t like you. Nothing you do will please her. So do what you want, what makes you happy.
Drop the rope. Don’t reach out to her. Don’t buy her gifts. Let your husband handle her. She’s not your problem.
Your post sounds like you might be from a culture different than mine so Im not sure of any customs but in general my belief is that what someone does with a gift once it’s given is their business.
If they are super brazen about the regifting or are mocking you with the regifting that may be different.
If it bothers you then talk to your family and ask them not to gift her anything anymore.
And think about if she did gift you the necklace – would she hang it over your head, monitor your usage with it, etc. sometimes it’s just not worth it.
I think there are some cultural differences at play here. As well as a generally JNMIL, so even when she’s not entirely in the wrong, her words and delivery are likely not respectful/kind.
It seems like you view this necklace as something that should have been a family heirloom piece for her, then you and your daughter. But that is a cultural expectation that is not recognized in most other places. In most Western cultures, in-laws gifting your MIL jewelry would be a strange gift. But ultimately just that – a gift. If she is not someone who generally wears nice jewelry, then she really doesn’t need it. Again, she does not see this as a family heirloom, to be saved. She just views it the same as a gift of a toaster oven. Nice, thank you, but not something she can particularly use or want. So she passes it on her to her loved one who can enjoy it.
It is not standard for her to pass it on to you. That would actually be the ruder option. Their connection is through you. It’s not quite like your parents gave her the gift, so much as it is like your family gave her the gift. Your family, which includes you. So this gift is kind of from you too. Giving you the necklace would be like giving the gift right back to your family. Which is rude.
My MIL has given gifts I give her to my SIL/BIL multiple times so I can understand how uncomfortable it can feel. I don’t expect her to give them back to me because ultimately they were gifts and she can do what she wants… however that behavior rubbed me wrong so I started getting her gifts only she could use or nothing at all.
It was not something I felt was worth confronting her about because once again, they were gifts to her. Instead she gets less gifts now and it solved it and no one’s hurt.