My (39f) bf (50m) showed me a side of himself that made me uncomfortable and I don’t know if this can be salvaged.

r/

My boyfriend and I have an unconventional situation, but have been together for nearly a year. I enjoy him, his companionship, and he has shown me care as a partner that I haven’t really believed to be possible in a relationship.

The one big sticking point we have is our political beliefs. While I fully believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions, I believe in science, compassion for others and their situations, and bodily autonomy. The times we’ve truly argued had everything to do with personal freedoms, or the lack thereof, but often, we do find some common ground. That, and we generally try to avoid political topics all together.

For awhile now, things at his work have been slowly escalating to the point where he’s considering alternative employment. I totally get that because, let’s face it, corporate greed sucks for the workers. I know how dedicated he is and his commitment to high quality work in the industry that he cares about, so I sense the frustration almost daily.

In this job hunt, he’s decided to consider applying to a federal law enforcement position that’s had some big recruiting lately. When I asked why that specific agency, he said because it was interesting to them and he’s always had a desire to work in law enforcement. I continued to ask questions, but my glaring distrust of this administration and any current federal agency beholden to the orange fascist was obvious, and it started a fight. By the end, a number of things were said that I just don’t think I ignore. It was shocking, because I didn’t realize the depth and darkness (in my eyes) of his beliefs.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure where to go from here. Is it ridiculous to end a long-term relationship over politics? Even if his career and compassion to me has been obvious?

He’s already stated that he probably won’t apply to the job, but I don’t even think it’s the job that’s problematic anymore. It’s the things that have been said that can’t be taken back.

Comments

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  2. MightySD69 Avatar

    Bail out if he said things you didn’t like hopefully you have a safe place to go?

  3. Lambsenglish Avatar

    If you can look yourself in the eye and take yourself seriously while dating a Trumper ICE recruit 11 years your senior, then that’s as much a reflection on you as it is on him.

  4. plentyofizzinthezee Avatar

    If you’ve discovered that you strongly dislike your partner’s world view on all of the values you hold dear it’s normal to break it off. I don’t know where in time it became distasteful to somehow discount ‘politics’ as a deal-breaker when it’s actually shorthand for things like morality, empathy and compassion but no, it’s perfectly normal to have nothing to do with people who don’t share your politics because they aren’t like you, they don’t value the things you value and just because they’re nice to you, their politics implies they won’t be nice to other perfectly nice people because they done share their politics, or ethnicity amongst other reasons. Your choice though 

  5. AffectionateBite3827 Avatar

    Look we’re not talking political differences like “should we invest in highways versus mass transit? Discuss.” We are talking about how he fundamentally sees the world and thinks our fellow humans should be treated. But hey if he’s nice to you fuck everyone else right?

  6. ThatsItImOverThis Avatar

    Political beliefs aren’t minor because they reflect morals, or lack thereof, especially in the US.

    This is showing a very, very ugly side of him. I’m betting you’ve got the ICK now.

  7. Naturally_moving Avatar

    To be fair it’s not politics. It’s morals. And you need to decide if your morals align with someone who is willing to work for the gestapo.

  8. No_Scarcity8249 Avatar

    He has a strong feel desire to hurt people and is at his core a very scary horrible person. Get away no you barely know him. A year is nothing. This man’s about to drag babies into the street and kidnap them. Get the f out 

  9. Unique-Assumption619 Avatar

    Okay Trump supporter.

  10. Fun_Concentrate_7844 Avatar

    Repost from a month ago

  11. Notnow12123 Avatar

    It’s scary that major surprized are happening to someone you thought you knew

  12. Left_Experience9929 Avatar

    I think I could recover from my man’s gaycation or Bonny Blue event participant before this. God, give me art room problems, anything but a n*zi.

  13. outervolcano69 Avatar

    You clearly don’t respect him so you should leave him for his benefit.

  14. Constant_Worth_8920 Avatar

    FFS. It’s not about politics, and it never was. It’s about morals it’s about doing what’s right. It’s about thinking that it’s ok to hurt or kill other people because you think they don’t fit your ideal. It’s about monsters. If you want to date one it’s none of my business

  15. Hermit-Cookie0923 Avatar

    I’ve cut off family and ended years’ long friendships with people who came out as pro eugenics/ethnic culling and pro-Maga. He’s shown you for who he is, in fact you already knew who he was because you avoid political topics to keep living together. Just end it.

  16. RickRussellTX Avatar

    r/QAnonCasualties

  17. Typically_Basically Avatar

    You’re wondering if you should keep dating your trumpie ice-loving boyfriend now that he’s let the mask slip and told you exactly how he views the world? … okaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy