I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now. We have a really good relationship for the most part, but there’s something that’s been constantly on my mind, and now I can’t stop thinking about it…
So I’m a tall, thin woman with small-ish boobs (they are a full B cup) so I definitely have boobs, but they aren’t “big” and I would classify them a little under average size. They fit my frame though and I always liked them and how perky they were. I just never really thought about them. All my previous exes never complained and actually liked them so it wasn’t an issue.
Fast forward to my boyfriend now, since the very beginning, he has made comments regarding my breasts… one month into dating, he randomly said “you know how there’s either boob guys or butt guys… well I’m a boob guy.” And then he laughed. Then I responded “well I guess that sucks for me… I got an ass but I’m lacking a little up there for somebody that’s a boob guy…” and he just started laughing, not saying anything. Okay I didn’t think anything of that, it was just one comment.
But then as we started dating more, he mentioned boobs more and more. He asked me if anyone I work with has gotten their boobs done or if I know anyone that has had them done personally. I just replied “I don’t know? It’s not something people just randomly announce so I’m not sure.” He’s literally asked this same question like 2 or 3 times.
Then one night, we were talking about someone we both knew who was pregnant and just had her baby. He made a comment on how she looks different and I said “well… her boobs got bigger (she was always very small chested) so maybe that’s what it is haha.” And he goes “boobs get bigger with pregnancy?” And I go “yes… they get bigger for milk production and stuff like that.” And his eyes widen and he says “well… looks like I’m not wearing a condom anymore!” Insinuating he wants me to get pregnant so my boobs grow.
He’s asked me what my boob size is and when I told him I’m probably a true B, he said “C is probably my favorite, maybe a D…” okay?
This last comment really got to me though… my birthday was last month and he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. In that moment I couldn’t think of anything, and he says “what about a boob job?” And starts laughing. I was so thrown off by that but he then started saying “I’m teasing, I’m teasing.” But it felt like there was some truth to that.
The reason I’m writing this now is because I was looking at a picture I took the other day in my bikini at the beach and I started noticing how my chest was small… something I never paid attention to before. Now I’m subconsciously looking at my chest and wondering if it’s too small in photos and in the mirror.
When I’ve asked him directly if he finds my body attractive, including my boobs, he says “they fit your frame” or “they are the perfect size for you.” Which contradicts his other comments.
I want to have a talk with him, I just don’t know how or when… we are LDR and every time we talk, it’s right before bedtime and I don’t want to go to bed on a weird note. But I don’t feel like it’s something I should talk about with him. I just need advice on how to tell him this and when would the right time be. It just hurts because if I was making jabs at him and his dick size (something I would never do), he would be extremely offended
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Find a new bf
What a jerk.
A man who cares about you will care regardless of breast size, tummy size, butt size, or whatever.
If this was SUCH an issue for him, why did he want to date you? He wants you insecure so that you think you can’t get anyone better (spoiler, you definitely can.)
You have to be shitting me right now
“You’re always making comments about my breast size. It makes me feel like you have a problem with my breast size.” Pause and let him respond to this. He’ll give you excuses about how that’s not true. Then tell him to please not comment on your breast unless it’s in admiration… because the only thing he should be is fucking grateful.
Honestly, I would stop seeing this guy anyway. He seems like a creep. But if you want to give him another shot go for it.
the comment about “guess i gotta get you pregnant” would have me genuinely concerned given how difficult abortion access is right now. not sure what state your in or what birth control methods you use but i would keep an eye on it. i’m sorry you partner is making you feel so self conscious he should be lifting you up not this.
What’s there to talk about? He’s made insulting comments, that’s how he feels. Get you a man that thinks you’re the hottest girl ever.
Girl break up with him, he’s immature and ridiculous.
Someone who makes you feel bad about yourself, your body, appearance, etc. for completely normal things is not a good person, not a good partner, and doesn’t deserve continued privileges with you/your body/your time.
Life is too short – sounds like you need to consider finding yourself a sweet and considerate ass man. (Or just any man who enthusiastically likes your total package).
Ugh I so hate that this has now creates body image issues for you. A family pointed out that I was chubby when I was in 5th grade, and that’s when my body image issues began. I never thought of myself or my body that way, but ive struggled since.
If you still see a future with him, I think a conversation is a good start. “I know you think you are being playful, but this actually really hurts my feelings. Im beginning to feel insecure, and it needs to stop.”
With that being said, it is a real possibility that this will be an ongoing issue for you. You may doubt his attraction to you and need constant reassurance that he finds you beautiful. At that point, I would consider leaving as it will be a constant battle. There’s others out there who will love and adore your body.
Please be kind to yourself.