I don’t want to share any screenshots because of anonymity.
We had an argument earlier today about finances. I left for my sister’s birthday party (that he didn’t want to attend) and after I got to the party he send me pictures of sales tags he found in the trash can and accused me of spending money on myself after we agreed to cut way back on spending.
The sales tags were old, I had bought the shirt months ago, hung it up in the closet and didn’t cut the tags off. I told him this in the text but told him I’d rather talk about it when I got home. He called me selfish for not wanting to discuss it then and then stopped responding to me.
A little while later, my friend texted me to say “what is (husband) posting about on Facebook?” And I go on to see screenshots of our text conversations, with the caption “simple poll: who is correct in the situation?”
I am so embarrassed I could cry. There has been a lot of issues going on with us recently. But this is just downright humiliating.
At this point I just feel lost. Any advice is welcome.
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Dump him. Don’t stay with a man who treats you with such cruelty and disrespect.
Ewww he’s 42 and acting 16.
What a gross and humiliating thing to do. Don’t throw a fit so he can call you crazy. Go silent.
He’ll figure out he fucked up, and when he comes grovelling, make sure his apology is also public too.
When you went to the party he should have left it until the next day, instead he purposely sent those texts to ruin your time there. He then posted on facebook to further stress you out. I agree he’s acting like a child, pretty much a POS.
His intent was to disparage you and humiliate you publicly. That’s the beginning and end of it.
There is NO justification for bringing a public audience into a private disagreement.
He sucks.
He sure wants to be right no matter the cost- say nothing don’t engage you already told him the truth don’t need to say more.
Your husband’s emotional and mental immaturity is extremely high. This is not someone who makes calm rational decisions; instead, he creates impulse reactions to make him look like the victim. Get some couples counseling ASAP or count down the days until your marriage ends because he won’t stop and will only escalate more chaotic irrational behavior that makes him look like the good guy, and you the villain!
It would be the final straw for me. Posting this on FB was to humiliate and shame you. That’s not how someone who loves you acts
Just post on his page
“Apparently, adulting is difficult for my Husband”
I would comment on it and say “I think we need to divorce”
See how embarrassed he gets having his dirty laundry aired out!!!
Your husband seems like trash.
Sounds like you need to make your own fb post:
“Simple poll: should I file for divorce now or later?”
If I were in your shoes. I would be honest about how I feel, but also take the time to think about how I want to discuss this. I would definitely want to make a point of how it would feel if you did this to him. And ask him why he struggled to just wait to talk in person.
This would require a lot of trust rebuilding for me and some couples therapist, ideally someone who can help work on financial issues since clearly he has high anxiety and dysfunction around discussing and managing finances.
I wish you the best in getting through this.
You don’t post personal stuff like that on social media. That’s extremely disrespectful.
Dumped. What an AH.
Absolutely, that’s narcissistic triangulation and I’d be done.
OK if we’re taking a poll. He’s wrong for wanting to discuss it while you’re at a party. This was not a life threatening situation that required an immediate response. You gave him the explanation for the tags that should have been then of it.
If you don’t feel 100% ready to just straight up leave him, I suggest this:
Don’t act angry or hurt AT ALL. Be totally non-reactive. But just start being very detached. Find fun shit to do when you guys would normally be hanging out. Literally just remove your energy from him. He doesn’t deserve it. Not even negative energy.
Hold the line. He needs to apologize and apologize big time. If/when he does, make it very, very clear that what he did was not okay at all; it’s a boundary of yours, and if it’s crossed again, you will not be sticking around.
He is trashy as hell.