How to tell my (34F) Boyfriend (25M) his breath stinks?

r/

His hygiene isn’t an issue; when he is hungry or has eaten something that causes an odour later on, his breath is ungodly. It is so bad that sometimes I smell sh1t and think it smells like his breath rather than the other way around.

He is clean and brushes his teeth twice daily, uses mouthwash. 3 years ago, I had tried to put it kindly by just offering gum, he then made a joke about “because my breath stinks” and I laughed and agreed and then he went quiet and said it he would rather I didn’t say anything. I was surprised because we take the piss out of each other but he was genuinely very wounded.

Since then we’ve had multiple incidents over the years. I’ve asked him how he’d prefer me to let him know his breath is bad and he has literally said to just not. More recently, he said “you can put up with it for 2 minutes” but he doesn’t get that I’ve suffered it for an hour of if getting increasingly more vile before I crack and try to do something about it. I cannot emphasise how annoyed he gets if I bring it up. He gets annoyed if I turn my head and then ask why I am, or comments on me being “far away” but if I dare say he’ll get really pissed off so I’m at a loss.

This week, he was off work and we were out and about so he wasn’t eating as regularly. There were two occasions where his breath was appalling and I could see his friends turning away from him. If I were him, I’d be mortified if a) my partner was put off by my bad breath and b) my partner wasn’t informing me that other people were offended by my mouth.

This morning lead me to this post whereby he was minding our baby, and he brought her back to bed and his breath was HIDEOUS. I felt awful for her he just doesn’t care and is breathing all over her. I asked if he wanted to get a shower “and stuff” but he didn’t get the hint and obviously I daren’t say his breath effing reeks as he gets so angry about it. Stuff I’ve tried:
– Asking if he wants a drink
– Asking if he wants food
– Offering gum
– Asking how he wants me to handle this

Comments

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  2. DotCottonCandy Avatar

    He doesn’t care that his breath stinks. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to do anything about it and he expects you to put up with it quietly.

    If it’s this bad, you need to sit him down and tell him you’re at breaking point. Tell him everything you said here. If he’s annoyed he’ll have to be annoyed.

    I honestly couldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who smelled bad and wasn’t willing to fix it. Are you?

  3. QueenOfPerverts Avatar

    This is a health issue now that needs a dentist and/or a doctor to look at it.

    Stop telling him his breath stinks and start advocating he gets actual professional attention for this because it is not normal for a man with such good oral hygiene to have such bad breath, there is most likely an underlying health issue like Peridonitis, Tonsillitis or something along those lines.

  4. brainwise Avatar

    Has he tonsil stones?

  5. chimichangas2323 Avatar

    next date idea: dentist appointment

  6. theseptimel Avatar

    this is a health issue, probably caries. Tbh I don’t know how grown-up people with a baby don’t know that. You should tell him, that it’s not his fault, but the bad breath points to an underlying health issue, that needs to be checked out.

  7. Dry_Exchange_3099 Avatar

    After 3 years you can’t tell him?