I know, it’s the age old question of “can men and women have strictly platonic friendships?” As a woman, I have no problem with having men as platonic friends. Some of my best friends have been guys. However, I’m starting to notice a pattern… almost all of the guys I’ve been friends with over the years have eventually confessed that they wanted to be something more. I didn’t reciprocate feelings for any of them and unfortunately lost great friendships because of it.
So for all the straight/bi men out there who like women: would you be able to be “just friends” with a woman you find attractive without the expectation of something more? Do you have many platonic relationships with women?
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Here’s an original copy of /u/a-nice-afternoon’s post (if available):
I know, it’s the age old question of “can men and women have strictly platonic friendships?” As a woman, I have no problem with having men as platonic friends. Some of my best friends have been guys. However, I’m starting to notice a pattern… almost all of the guys I’ve been friends with over the years have eventually confessed that they wanted to be something more. I didn’t reciprocate feelings for any of them and unfortunately lost great friendships because of it.
So for all the straight/bi men out there who like women: would you be able to be “just friends” with a woman you find attractive without the expectation of something more? Do you have many platonic relationships with women?
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Never been an issue for me. Some of my best platonic friends have been women.
No. This is a near impossibility. I have friendly female acquaintances, but none of them are people I would hang out with in a 1-on-1 environment.
Men struggle with this a lot more than women. I only have platonic female friends that I am not attracted to. I feel like if I was attracted to them, I’d make a fool of myself trying to get with them.
Can I be “just friends” with them? Sure. But unless she was overweight or ugly, I’ve wanted to bang every female friend I’ve ever had.
Not going to lie. I’ve eventually dated every female friend I’ve ever had. Even my wife was my friend for years before she asked me out.
Yes. Have done, am doing, will likely do in the future.
Yes and no. Usually the attraction fades over time. I have a friend i approached at a club. Nowadays… we have so different outlooks in life, she is taken, married and a mum… There is no attraction anymore. She isnt ugly, just not interesting to me.
Yes i have platonic female freinds but im not attracted to any of them. My life’s goal and most men is when looking for a partner we find a women who we like spending time with, which would make her a freind, and someone we find attractive, which makes us want something sexual. So yes I can be freunds with non attractive women but not attractive women, because id want more and if they dont then it gets weird. It’s not like I kick them out of my life if I confess my feelings and they don’t feel the same its more like we both grow apart from each other.
Almost all of my closest friends are Woman. Would I ever sleep with them? No. Have I thought about it? Yes, every one of them. I think thats just human nature to wonder. But id never act on it. I can distinguish pretty well between a lady I would date and ones I wouldn’t.
I have several platonic women friends and even one of my best friends is a woman.
It’s not much different from guy friends. If you’re heterosexual, you have guy friends and you have no interest in sleeping with them, right? And you probably don’t want to sleep with every woman in the world either.
Given that there’s nothing forcing you to only interact with women that you want to sleep with, having platonic women friends is, logically, very possible. Even probable unless you’re weirdly hung up.
I really do not get this „debate“. Yes, of course women can be friends. I have women friends. Debate over, as far as I‘m concerned. 😄
It really can only work if you have zero sexual attraction to them.
Most of my friends have been women. I have had romantic feelings for some of them. Perfectly natural thing for me to be attracted to someone I respect, trust and get along with. That being said if it’s a boundary that’s been made clear not to cross I don’t cross it. It’s not at all a deal breaker for a friendship if they’re not interested in a sexual or romantic relationship with me. Sure it’s kind of a bummer but I don’t need to make it their problem at all.
Never been an issue. I have a lot of amazing friends who are women. Most of my best friends are women. Women are just people. I don’t want to date or have sex with every person I meet.
For the people I do/did want to date I have no issue moving on and just being friends if they turn me down. The few I’ve asked out I’m still great friends with and some of them have amazing partners now who I’m also friends with.
>would you be able to be “just friends” with a woman you find attractive without the expectation of something more?
24 years and has never been a problem
I don’t really have any platonic female friendships outside of family, and I certainly don’t “hang out” with any woman who isn’t my wife outside of a group setting.
Ive only had a few females that were truly friends, so my experience is limited, but I’ve wanted to bang every one of them. Never did and never tried, but the urge was still there.
Personally no. Back when I was a teen I had female friends and sometimes thought it could turn into more, but later on I also had strictly platonic friendships. Thing is, I just don’t really see the benefit of it. Even if I was single, I wouldn’t be interested, and now that I’m in a relationship I definitely don’t want it. Nothing against males and females being friends, it’s just not for me.
I don’t have issues keeping a relationship platonic. Doesn’t mean I can’t find them attractive though. Some of them are married and most of them are taken and even if I find them good looking I have no issues with being friends with them.
Considering someone attractive is not the same as wanting to sleep with them. And even if I would be open to it, if they aren’t because they simply don’t find me attractive at all nothing will happen and that’s also completely fine with me as I value my friendships a lot.
Also my attraction seems to fade if I’m platonically friends with a girl. I’ll keep considering her cute but the initial urge to eg ask them out disappears quite quickly I feel.
There may be a point where a crush or interest exists and you just move past it and get to the mutual friend zone
If a woman can be all the things that a male friend can be PLUS she has a nice rack and ass, seems like a no-brainer to me. I think that I’ve come to the conclusion that enjoying a woman’s company ourside of the bedroom is more important, but if that kind of friendship is there, I figure the intimacy will be that much more enjoyable, so I would probably avoid getting too friendly with a guy, unless you’re certain that the both of you can be restrained.
I’ve tried to do that, but I eventually have the same problem; I start hearing through the grapevine that people who I just want to be friends with want to sleep with me/date and they’ve already given me one reason or another as to why I wouldn’t want to do that.
You’d think being friends with people in relationships would help, but mostly that just leads to people trying to cheat with me.
If I know their flaws are enough to be a dealbreaker or if I’m not attracted to them or they’re otherwise unavailable it’s fine. Otherwise I try not to.
It’s hard to maintain a platonic friendship if you’re attracted to them. If you find them attractive and your personalities mesh enough to be friends then naturally there is partner potential.
If there’s no physical attraction, or not much of one, then it’s not really an issue for me. I have plenty of female friends that I’m not attracted to and they might as well be men for all I care about their gender. I even have some female friends that I initially found attractive but I was put odd by certain things about them, such as having a rotation or something similar.
Young men are attracted to most young women. Young women are only attracted to a few young men. So if you pair up any random young man and young woman, it’s very likely that the man will be attracted but the woman won’t. Now if you have them spend a bunch of time tougher and have the woman be really nice and fun to be around, yeah it’s likely the man will develop more serious feelings.
Personally my experience is a bit different from typical, in that almost all friendships I’ve had with woman have crossed the boundary in one way or another, often instigated by the woman.
My best friend right now is a woman. Her and her BF have been a key in my wife, and I’m a weight loss journey. She lost a ton of weight a few years ago and kept it off permanently.
Her boyfriend never had weight issues but has been an asset because he has thin eating habits i adopted. Fake it till you make it
Absolutely men and women can just be platonic. A lot of my friends are women and married and have known for years (most are married). I think it’s just knowing where you all stand in the friendship and creating the awareness. We all chat and get together to catch up once in a while. Most of the women I know, I even know their family and get together once in a while. Just some people start becoming comfortable and develop emotional attachment over time because they know you really well and don’t have to go through the first date phase and make an impression (that’s just how I think about it).
I’ve had one truly platonic female friend. In the sense that I have never considered her in any way beyond a friend, I’ve had tons of female friends, but only one, honest to god platonic female friend.
Only if I’m not attracted to her physically. And at that point, I would rather be with women I fine physically attractive.
So, no.
The older I get, the more I realize there’s plenty of charming, attractive women…who it would never work out with long-term. And who aren’t built for the NSA/one-offs. Some of them are my lady friends. And my female friends have always been quite good to me.
It’s not that I wouldn’t bang or try to date some of them if things were right, it’s just I’m conscious of when I have a good thing. Their friendships matter to me and there’s plenty of fish in the sea, don’t need to risk a solid friendship.
Everywoman I have tried to just be platonic friends with always tried to use me for something be it resources, free labor, or as a therapist. When they would ask for those things, I say “that’s boyfriend responsibilities” and refuse to be used, they become ex-friends.
It’s fine but don’t expect me to be an emotional sponge and hang around if I pursue other women.
Men can be platonic friends with women. One of my best friends, actually she’s my sister by now, is a woman. Maybe it’s different for different men. IN my case, my self esteem is so low, I never ever interact with women thinking I have a shot, thus, helping me be consistent, keeping it platonic, and not confusing niceness with “they want me”
I have some female friends who are wonderful people. I have no interest in dating most of them for a variety of reasons.
I have one friend who I was interested in, but we had a brief talk, she wasn’t interested, and we are still friends. I think she is an awesome person and a great friend, and her not being interested didn’t change my opinion of her. I would have been a bad friend if I stopped being her friend because she didn’t reciprocate.
Oh yeah, easily. A lot of mine have mainly come from mutual interest groups, through friends of friends, some from dating (and taking enough time after the breakup to grow separately/come to our senses), absolutely destroying (or getting beat by) ‘em in Mario Kart.
I have had plenty of friendships with women.
Most of those women, I found attractive, and would happily have jumped into bed with. But I didn’t need or expect to. That wasn’t why we were friends.
A few of those, I did actually jump into bed with. Results varied in terms of whether we had a quick hookup, or became friends with benefits, or even became a couple.
And of those, all were well before I met my wife 20 years ago, and I’m still friends with every single one of those women.
Women friends are cool.
Most, if not all, of my platonic women friends are also good friends with my wife as my wife and I have been together practically of my adult life. The one friend that I had that did cross a boundary isn’t in my life anymore. I at one point did have feelings for her way before I started dating my wife exclusively but she made it clear that she didn’t reciprocate so I just left it and moved on. Well one day she made a post of me as her #MCM and it seemed very non platonic. I told her to take it down as my wife, gf at the time, would probably not like it and it also made it look like I wasn’t in a relationship. She got mad, called me insecure and said that it wasn’t a big deal. She took it down but didn’t talk to me for weeks. We just kinda lost touch after that.
It depends on both sides. I tend to build all my relationships from the ground up. We meet as acquaintances, become friends, and become something more if interest is mutual.
All my platonic female friends don’t really leave the friend stage. At some point it turns into a deep friendship type of love and it just sticks. I see them as a sister from another mother and I can’t imagine it any other way.
This question has been asked here eleventy kabilion times already.
Unless they are gay or you’re very unattractive, every guy friend has something else in mind. Even if they burry it deep down, you’re in their spank bank.
Only ever had them be platonic so far, haven’t met one of the opposite sex who hits my emotions in the way I want something more
My best friend is my sister-in-law.
If I’m entirely honest there are times when my intrusive thoughts are not as noble as I want them to be. But I know I’d never act on them and she feels the same way.
I think sometimes when people become attracted to their friend. It looks, to the friend, like the friendship wasn’t about friendship and just about sexual attraction. This generally comes with a feeling of betrayal because it feels like it cheapens the relationship.
It’s perfectly possible to become attracted to a friend at any moment. It’s also perfectly possible to remain friends after that. I’ve been on both sides of those friendships and they can remain great bonds as long as both people are open, honest, and understanding.
Yeah but I’ve had numerous women who I thought only saw me as a friend try to make a move on me. Some waited until I was single. One friend tried to make a move when I was drunk even though she was in a relationship. This stuff happens people aren’t robots sometimes they develop feelings for you overtime, some always have secret plans.
I’ve a bunch of female friends im never boning and never wanted to bone.
Consider them as you would a sibling.
With some bizzare exceptions, this’ll make your mindset just not consider them that way.
Growing up my friend group consisted of a bunch of guys and girls. We all became friends between like 8-12 years old and now like 20 years later we’re all still friends, though we don’t see each other as often anymore cause everyone is married/in relationships/having kids, just general life stuff. But yeah all the girls in that friend group have always been platonic female friends that i consider my sisters. I think it’s maybe different when they’re people you knew as children and grew up with.
Have a few platonic female friends for years and years now. Not too many. Theyre incredible people but for some reason or other, I just mentally dont view them as anything more than ‘my bro’. Even during 1 on 1 hangouts, I feel nothing but friendship. Also I’m happy in my relationship, so I guess that helps?
Straight guy here who’s almost 30, with more female friends than male, and I assure I have never had any sexual ideas or drives toward any of my female friends.
Majority of them are older, and are brutally honest with me ABOUT women and the “girl code” world, which really brought about my maturity and understanding of women to say the least.
It’s insane that people keep asking if 50% of humans can be friends with the other 50%.
It’s a mix. Some of my female friends are people I am or have been attracted to, others aren’t.
I have plenty of female friends that are just friends, many of them are attractive. But im also married.
As a straight man, I’ve had lots of women friends over the years, some I’m still in touch with. Some of them were wildly attractive, but I didn’t want a relationship with them for whatever reason. I’d have loved to have banged a couple of them, but it would have made it awkward later because I wasn’t any more interested in a relationship with them than they were with me.
Some of the women I was friends with I initially considered relationship material, but for whatever reason it didn’t happen for long enough time that it would have been awkward to consider it. I’m sure some of the women started with similar attitudes.
I am great friends with quite a few women, one of whom is single and I’ve been friends with for 40 years. TBH I can’t believe she is because she’s awesome and would make some guy incredibly happy.
My best friends are invariably women. Always had female friends with no sexual intention between us, sometimes one of us shoot our shot and one of us get turned down and we’re friends anyway. It’s not a big deal to me, but I’d never sleep with a friend unless I wanted a relationship out of it
I married the first available pretty girl who appeared in our friends group, so probably the answer is no. Though maybe I could if we agreed unambiguously that we are, in fact, strictly platonic. Somehow I never hear about this is being said out loud. Have you talked about it with your friends?
Of course my wife friends and my friends GFs and wives are kind of friends to me, and we are strictly platonic but that’s a different thing.
I think that’s mostly the case but I can definitely think of a few attractive girls that I just liked hanging out with and I didn’t think of anything else further. Now would I? Yes but it never was in my head.
It’s a case by case basis.
Demi-bi man here. I’ll start by saying that I have at least the occasional sexual thought about almost all my close friends, regardless of gender; and that I actually take a pass at almost none of them. Maybe that means I don’t have *any* “platonic” friends, and… alright, sure, if that’s how you want to define it. But the question you asked was about expectations specifically, so I can say that yes — I’m entirely able to have friends who I find attractive without attaching any sort of expectation that that attraction is ever going to be acted on. My main concern in that case is that I’m able to be honest and not be expected to lie about it
feels slimy to be treated like a girlfriend.. wouldn’t recommend if you are straight.
My dad died when I was young. Through out my life I’ve had more female friends than male friends.
I’ve had female friends I’ve developed love/lust feelings for and I’ve had to push those feelings aside. Others I tried to take it into a relationship and she wasn’t interested. Still others, it lasted a couple dates and didn’t work out.
I’ve had female friends tell me they want more and want to date. I’ve turned them down and they’ve ghosted me or saw me a lot less.
One turned into a relationship that ended and going back to friends didn’t work.
Some women I’ve dated have been overly jealous of my female friends. I had one even refer to a female friend as my “second girlfriend” in a non-joking manner. I tried my best for all of us to hang out, but my girlfriend at the time was not interested at all.
Most friendships stayed friendships with no further feelings on my side and as far as I know on their side either and it was fine.
While like 95% of my friends have been boys/men, my best friend in high school was a girl. We got along great, I loved talking to her as we moved from class to class (we shared a few classes), and we just naturally had chemistry, since we were both a bit ‘nerdy’. Even though I did find her pleasant to look at, I never thought of her as romantically or sexually desirable. I did find her aesthetically attractive at times though, she could really rock a sweater. Honestly I was far more concerned with people thinking I was romantically/sexually attracted to her than actually having any such feelings for her myself (I was still in the phase of my life where I didn’t want anyone to know that I actually liked women in that way). And still to this day, I don’t really like the idea of being her boyfriend or such (and no, it’s not just because she’s married). All of the female friends and acquaintances I’ve had have never really made me feel romantic or sexual attraction, only aesthetic or platonic.
tl;dr – I don’t develop romantic/sexual feelings for my friends, so it’s very easy for me to have female friends, even if they are extremely attractive (generally). There’s only like a 1-2% chance that I would find her romantically/sexually attractive to begin with, so I would need to be really unlucky to actually be romantically/sexually attracted to her (and even if I was, I wouldn’t make any mention of it, unless the feelings were really strong).
Yes. It’s not difficult as a married man. More difficult if single.
I have plenty of female friends that are platonic. Have I had the random thought about them that pops into my head? Of course. Does it mean anything? No. I’m a straight dude with a healthy sex drive, it’s bound to happen. Doesn’t mean I have to act on it.
Yes. Because I can acknowledge someone is aesthetically attractive without wanting to sleep with them. I even split a duplex with an attractive woman my senior year in college while dating my now wife. I had zero interest in the person outside being friends for multiple reasons. The woman had a boyfriend at the time.
Today I am a teacher in a school with mostly female teachers. I am friends with some of them. Some of them have good aesthetic qualities. I don’t dwell on them. I compartmentalize.
It’s like how I can say a cousin is pretty without sexualizing them.
I think there are generally three scenarios, regardless of gender, which can all change over time:
The friend who you are not physically attracted to.
The friend who you are physically attracted to (maybe a lot or maybe just a little), but for whatever reason you don’t feel like they’d be the right life partner for you.
The friend who you are physically attracted to, and in your ideal world they’d be your life partner but they’re currently not (which may be ok for you, or it may not).
And then there’s the bonus:
It only works when you’re already in a relationship and basically has to be someone your girlfriend introduced you too, other than that it’s difficult for a lot of reasons
Generally speaking, I would bang all of my female friends. I don’t actively pursue them or flirt with them in a meaningful way, but also if they offered and it seemed like it wouldn’t ruin the friendship, I definitely would. I just not interested in them romantically. I enjoy them as a people and think they’re hot. Honestly, I think it’s weirder when people act they don’t notice if their opposite sex friends are attractive
Yes of course it’s possible, the vast majority of my (31M) friends are women/people with uteruses and Im a cishet dude.
They are either :
-(1/4th of them) Unattractive to me.
-Previously attractive to me : exes but now we’re friends and I honestly don’t find sexually attractive anymore
-(most of them) : Attractive to me but our relationship early on was very clear over the fact that nothing would ever happen : lesbians, already in couple, etc … In turn, I never “fed” the lust in me for them (like I would have done when I was younger), so pretty quickly the attraction completely faded and they turned into sisters : I can acknowledge their beauty, but they are completely desexualized. And the thought of having sex with them feels just weird and doesn’t turn me on.
One of my best friends is a pretty attractive woman (most people would say she’s hot) but even though we lived together for several years, saw each other naked on a daily basis, hugged frequently, nothing ever happened. It’s clear neither of us want it. At least I don’t want it. The same way I don’t wanna have sex with my mother or my hypothetical sister.
It’s actuallly very enjoyable because that means that we can have deep relationships, hugs, etc, without ever having that problem. It’s especially present with lesbian friends because I know FOR SURE that nothing will ever develop from their side to me, so it’s really relaxing.
She ended up becoming my crush. I found her pretty, and we shared interests and I liked her demure demeanor
The top comment has this down, but, it’s sort of a perspective thing.
Maybe as a male I can’t understand a perspective females may have, but, my closest female friends aren’t “fuck” territory, but, if they decided things were different, I can’t say I’d argue.
I’m friends with them because we connect already on so many levels, and I find them mentally fascinating.
I haven’t pursued anything because it was mutually agreed that that wasn’t the intention, but, if the intention changed, I’d reconsider things.
It’s not that my goal is to fuck my female friends, I just don’t think I’d say no if they offered.
I don’t think that’s a respect issue, as again, I’m not pursuing, and am not seeding ideas nor waiting in the background with hopes. I’m truly their friend and encourage them to seek out partners of value to them and love them as if they were family, but, genetically we’re not family and it’s an opportunity at having the best romance possible with someone who already knows and understands me at a deep level, which is worth the consideration alone regardless of appearance.
I think women in general categorize friendship differently from men. Friendship to me doesn’t mean romance is off the table, an announcement that that’s a nonfactor makes romance off the table.
Communicate with your friends more. Find ways to slip into conversation that you admire them but not in a romantic way and they **should** stay stable and not try anything. My ‘romantic feelings’ for my girl friends are in their hands, they’re non existent until they decide it’s an option.
Most of my friendships are platonic with female friends. I typically find that women have deeper conversations than men, and our relationship gets a deeper caring/ understanding over time.
There was only 1 that ever had anything happen sexually, but I think that was on purpose on her fault (she got almost completely naked for a back tattoo. We stopped the tattoo shortly after starting and let’s just say my face was buried everywhere it could be buried on her body). That was actually not what ended the friendship though, she went full crystal elderberry oil witch crazy and I could not tolerate it, So I mostly cut any meaningful contact on my end, which was years after the incident I mentioned.
I mean being super blunt as a bi man, I find most of my friends attractive, guys and girls.
But the bond I have with all of them is strictly platonic. I never understood why so many people had trouble with the idea of not wanting to date someone hot.
Like girl, you’re gorgeous and a great friend but I couldn’t handle 2% of the shit required to date you lmao.
I am a man who finds it difficult to form friendships with men, after a while they just become a bore.
I do however easily get on with women. I am a cheater so in a friendship with a woman there is always an edge, and, in in some cases become an affair.
I do like the company of women and I would like to have more platonic relationships, without that edge. I have had such relationships mostly with older women but my wife is not comfortable with that so I have to stop.
I’ve had lots of platonic female friends that I had zero desire to ever have sex with, but it could be more complicated when I find them sexually attractive… but it hasn’t really ever been a problem for me. If I was super attracted to a girl and I spent time around her, I would let her know.
Being aromantic all my female friends are plantonic
Yes can be friends, if I’m attracted to her i just hide it if i know if won’t work, if I’m not then all the better, purely platonic
I’ve only had 1 platonic female friend who I wouldn’t bang if given the chance, and that’s because I see her as more of a sister. Therefore, if I’m in a relationship, I don’t have any female friends.
Married here, a few of my best friends are women. No issue at all.
People who think men and women can’t be friends are dumb, but that’s not saying much because a 3rd of people are morons.
So many of them think I’m trying to get in their pants…
>Some of my best friends have been guys. However, I’m starting to notice a pattern…
Sounds like you’re ignoring the part of the age old question which has already been settled and most of your guy friends would absolutely be down if you sent them a “u up” text.
Personally, I find it’s really no trouble for to have platonic female friends. When I’m in a relationship I don’t have romantic thoughts about others because I put that energy towards my partner. I would need to be open to the possibility to consider it.
Plus there’s not even a guarantee that I have romantic thoughts about a female friend because it would require attraction on a physical and/or emotional level to them first.
Of course there are cases where someone is attractive. There was a girl I went to school with who was objectively gorgeous, but she had a trait I could never live with so it was easy to put any romantic thoughts past acknowledging her physical appearance aside.
My friendships with women, at least once I’ve stopped being single, usually fizzle out until we mostly communicate about once a year over text.
It’s not just because of them but also that I don’t initiate seeing them anymore or at least not as often as I used to.
I have a very close platonic female friend. She’s always been like a little sister to me. Attraction is more than just “she looks hot” it’s very much about vibes. Some vibes are like a sister. Others are like a romantic partner. Others are like the devil.
Eh. A good friend is quite rare. I’ve sometimes been attracted to women I’ve known as friends. Either it led somewhere, or we had a conversation and shut it down. Maybe an uncomfortable conversation but necessary.
The whole ‘men and women can’t be friends’ crowd is so weird. I’m not attracted to every woman I’ve been friends with. Some are older, some are married, lesbian etc or I just knew it would be a disaster of a relationship.
It’s never been a problem. Platonic friends and romantic relationships have stayed separate. Only a couple times when I was younger, we tried turning a friendship into a relationship and it didn’t work, so I made it a policy to not do that.
I really don’t understand why people have issues with it.
I always want more; show me
it’s pretty easy to stay friends with someone of the opposite sex. it doesn’t mean i don’t include fantasies of them, but i would never act on it irl.
My best friend (and roommate) during grad school was a woman who I objectively found very attractive and whom I liked very much but for whatever reason there was never a romantic spark between us. We went on one date shortly after we met and realized we’d be better off being friends. She used to screen my dates and when I met the woman who eventually became mrs elevenblade my roomie pulled me aside and said ”You need to marry that one!”
I am eternally grateful for her good advice.
If i spend enough time with a woman I will eventually want to be with her, as long as her personality is enjoyable. Unless I have literally no physical desire for you at all. Even some women I initially didn’t find attractive will sometimes become very attractive if I spend enough time with her.
I don’t really interact with women much anymore, not that I avoid them I just work in a male dominated industry. But even back when I was in my early-mid 20’s I recognized this in myself.
Why this happens is a mystery to me, but I have seen other guys end up the same way. We often try and say that we will be friends, but it rarely works. A lot of guys will just push their feelings down to keep the peace. But if a guy is actually platonic friends with you, he has no desire to be with you physically at all.
Do lesbians count? My lesbian friend is literally my brodude.
Some are better than others ik they say it’s men who always try to get romantic but no women do as well. Being in nursing school I have a lot do female friends, yes some of them are hot but we can still be friends theirs good looking women everywhere.
I will say though it’s easier with less attractive/overweight women. Every girl
I’ve dated has been insecure about other women until I tell them they are overweight or they see them and they aren’t attractive. 9/10 though the female friends are great.
For me a.female friend can be platonic friendship. I have to determine that it needs to be platonic and go from there. I can control my feelings as I got older.
My best friend in the world is a woman and in the 10+ years that we’ve known each other our relationship has only ever been platonic. We’ve both acknowledged that we think the other person is good looking, but there’s no attraction there.
The idea that a person can’t be friends with someone of the gender/sex they’re attracted baffles me, and in the context of relationships it has always come across as very insecure.
I don’t have many platonic female friends. Like a lot of other guys say if they’re attractive I do often have a physical attraction to them, but that doesn’t prevent a friendship, it does complicate it some.
What happens is I may have those completed emotions regarding them, if I don’t they have them for me. And unlike me they will act on them, and then the friendship has to end because they won’t stop, or completely disappear when they get a boyfriend.
Then there’s that a lot of women are just bad friends to guys if they don’t have a crush on them. Idk how many other people have experienced it but frequently you can’t have a female friend and have a balanced relationship. They often ask for way more than friends should ask for, only ever talk to you when they need something, leave you on read when you reach out. Maybe they’re trying to play it cool, maybe they’re scared that I’ll read more into it and catch feelings, maybe a lot of things. In the end it doesn’t matter, friendship takes reciprocation. If I’m not your boyfriend, I’m not doing boyfriend shit for you. I’m not going to stay friends with people male or female that blow me off or only reach out when they want something.
I’ve been platonic friends with women my whole life. Sometimes I’ve had feelings for them. Oftentimes I haven’t.
I have a large friend group and I’d say several of the women I’m specifically friends with (rather than just being part of the group). A couple of them I think are attractive, a couple of them not so much. Certainly not expecting anything more in any case.
Once I have known a woman for a while platonically, I don’t see her as someone I could or couldn’t sleep with. It’s no longer a consideration. She kind of becomes asexual in my eyes.
I stopped having platonic female friends once I graduated high school, I realized there isn’t any reason to be friends with a woman if it’s not leading to a romantic relationship. Women expect the same things from a platonic friendship with a man as they do from a romantic relationship.
You know what a man gets from friendship with a woman? Expectation to be an emotional dumping ground, manual and emotional laborer, ego validator etc. with no benefit outside of “you get to be seen with me” 🤮. What does a man get from friendship with other men? To exist without pressure, to hang out and not be expected to validate every aspect of their friend’s life. To actually relax and have fun.
There are no male-female friendships where the man is wanting to stay platonic in adult relationships. He just doesn’t know how to advance it, or is aware that if he does try and advance it he will lose access to her all together. These are the same men that will lie and say there absolutely are platonic male-female friendships.
I’ve got a number of female friends.
2 I’ve had sex with in the past. Another 2 I’ve seen naked. My girlfriend is aware of this information.
My girlfriend was weary of it at first, and I’ve shown her that they’re just my friends.
I find some of them attractive, but I keep them as friends and any sexual thoughts are very rare.
I’ve hung out with 2 exes with my girlfriends knowledge as well.
Sure I can. I have several female friends, that I’ve known for almost two decades, and during that time, I’ve met their boyfriends, later husbands, who are now also my friends. Sure, I was somewhat attracted to some of them early on, but never to the degree that I felt like pursuing anything, and I certainly never let it get between our friendships. These days they feel more like sisters.
I’m in my 50s. I have several female friends, both straight and gay, from high school with whom I am still close to. Also have several from college too. I did find some attractive, but I liked them for who they were and focused on that. I slot them into the “sister” grouping.
I have one college friend, who I found insanely hot, she wasn’t interested, but wanted to be friends. I put those romantic feelings aside and we are still friends 35 years later.
Hell, a few years ago, my best friend at work was a 26 year old woman, who was objectively attractive, but (1) I was married and (2) my interest was in her mind as she was extremely mature and thoughtful for her age, and a bit of a contrarian like myself. I was 47-50 during that time, and we’d get weird looks when we’d go to lunch, but I didn’t GAF.
Basically if a man is emotionally mature and knows his worth, and respects women in general as people, then it’s not hard to shift to friend mode with women.
Could I? I think so.
How could that happen would remain to be known.
I have plenty of platonic female friends, but almost all of them have evolved from work or school relationships, where over time there was a tacit acknowledgement that we wouldn’t work together as a couple. But we enjoyed working together, if that makes sense. Like we functioned well as a professional team and then later figured out we got along personally as people.
I am not an unattractive man, and there has been tension/awkwardness sometimes with the friends’ male partners upon meeting them. But I treat them exactly the same and try to befriend them as well. Soon enough it puts them at ease and they get to know I’m not a snake.
I’ve always had an easy time being friends with women. I’d say I mostly just don’t have “expectations” of people, generally. I might understand that you’re attractive in an academic sense, but you “being attractive” and me “being attracted” are two different things. I am disinterested in pursuing anything sexual or romantic with the vast majority of women. To the point that most of the “secret one-sided desire to be something more” has been from them.
In my experience, women make good friends in terms of emotional support and conversation, and they can be great friends if you have overlapping hobbies. However, women are by far worse friends when it comes to building long-term friendships. Of the strongest relationships I have, my newest long-term friendship with a man is as old as my oldest long-term friendship with a woman, and I suspect it’s because she’s a lesbian.
When women friends get a boyfriend, they often cut their close male friendships loose. Friendships with women are fulfilling and interesting, but they’re often short-lived when they start seriously dating a man… and if they develop feelings, they don’t always take it well if their advances are unreciprocated.
Still worth it, though.
Most of my friendships came from me liking them. I’ve been rejected so much growing up, shit hurts but not as much as it used to.
It’s nice, when the friendship feels mutual. Most of my friends are women…and a couple of them feels mutual in terms of how a friendship should be.
Its easy for me, the romantic side is just turned off. I see them exactly the same as I do my guy friends.
I don’t have any. Really. My only female friend is my wife. I have female work acquaintances, but that’s it.
I think the problem people need to get over is men can be platonic friends with women and still be down to fuck them.
As long as they aren’t actively pursuing it and they are loyal while in a relationship that’s all that really matters. If she makes in advance while he’s with someone and he can reject her then that’s enough expecting him to not be attracted to women is crazy work.
My favorite thing is if you actually talk to trans men who are on large amounts of testosterone they will even agree that it’s really hard to control the sexual thoughts that come with having high levels of testosterone. You’re horny women are hot it’s natural that if you’re both single to be willing to have sex.
Yes. You just need emotionally mature guys who doesn’t want to bang or immediately fall in love with someone base on looks. I work in a field with mostly women so most of my friends are female and I would say I was interested in maybe 1-2 of them only
If she and I have similar interests and hobbies, and are part of a friend group or have mutual friends, sure. I’ve had plenty of female friends I’ve felt no sexual or romantic attraction to.
I think it depends on how you become friends. I now only have one female friend and she’s awesome but she’s my best friends wife so in my eyes she basically a dude that I can talk to about relationship advice and she helps me when I need gift ideas. If I just naturally become friends with a woman out in the wild, I will almost certainly catch feelings for her unless I’m not attracted to her.
It’s fine, to put it bluntly, it was only ever a problem when I felt like I couldn’t get a gf whether that was true or not, so I was too indirect with my female friends, or I would eventually latch on to them because they were the only women around me that gave me the time of day.
When you’re only standard is “has a pulse and is nice to me”, it’s hard not to, and I feel like a lot of young guys get their wires crossed if they haven’t already experienced success in dating and relationships.
Now that I’m older with experience and some relationships under my belt, that particular insecurity is gone, I have no problems with platonic female friendships.
I work at a school. My friend group consists of 90% women. Most of them are young, educated, good people. I have never understood this whole idea of men and women not able to be friends. Am I attracted to some of them? Yeah. So what? Some of them are attracted to me too. We’re just friends. There’s literally no reason why not. It is so easy to just not hit on women if it’s inappropriate…
Had quite a few during school, only friends nothing more. If I want friendship, I dont see female friends as partners.
Most female friends over the years I’ve found generally attractive, and as such under the right circumstances I probably would have wanted to have sex with them.
That is not the same as having feelings for them or actually wanting the relationship to be more. I feel absolutely no regret about not having slept with my friends, even the ones that I’ve since drifted apart from. There are several I simply think that I would have enjoyed also sleeping with had the opportunity arose.
What separates how I see them from how I saw prospective partners is that I wasn’t going to actively pursue them, no serious flirting, not asking them out or going out of my way to spend time alone with them.
There’s also the fact that frankly, even with the friends that I was attracted to, I generally knew that a romantic relationship with them would never work due to various incompatibilities. That knowledge has always helped to keep any physical attraction to a very background passive thing.
They all wanted more and did not respect my relationship or marriage so now I don’t have any.
The majority of my current friends are women. Our group kinda has a “who gives a fuck” kind of energy around that question. I’ve dated one of them, ending on good terms, and many of us have said “I love you” in a platonic sense to each other (including the one I dated, post our breakup).
The idea that men and women can’t be friends because of gender or sexuality is just dumb, and I believe they would say the same.
I’ve fucked 3 close friends, thinking we’d get into a relationship together. None of the 3 girls showed any interest in a relationship after fucking, and our friendships fizzled out. I rationalized this by thinking maybe I fucked them poorly, but I think you just can’t fuck a friend into falling in love with you. 🙁
we just aren’t attracted to them its not that deep
It’s an odd thing, but women can absolutely see men as just friends, but not nearly as many men can see women as just friends.
It’s a tricky thing because there’s a lot dudes out there who really wanna bang their female friend and they’re just acting as a friend until they grow the balls to make a move.
This is something women need to be aware of.
Now this doesn’t mean men and women can’t be just friends. It can happen and it does, but it really depends on the type of man and woman.
I’ll give an example; I have 3 female friends, but we’re in our late 20s and I’ve known these girls since I was about 8 years old. Literally I see them as sisters and can’t ever see them in a sexual way because of our history. That’s an exception. Now thee girls are attractive and if I met them later in life, it would be way harder to be just their friends because not only are they easy on the eyes, but our friendship is purely based on childhood memories and we don’t have much in common in terms of overall interest. These girls are into very girly things and I’m not. Which is also why we don’t hangout that often.
Now this leads to my next point, about how the type of women who I can purely see as friends are usually not girly girls and I’m not attracted to them at all. I have literally only one female friend who I met in my 20s and she’s literally a bro. All her friends are guys, she’s into guy shit, not a girly girl. In all honesty I wouldn’t be surprised she’s a lesbian.
So the thesis here in my last point is that it’s not even just about being attracted to one another but purely the fact that for the most part, men and women are just different. The things my gf and her friends do and talk about, I can’t see a heterosexual male being interested in hanging out with them. And the things me and my boys talk about and do, I can’t see the majority of straight women being into.
My girl and her friends like to get their nails done, go to drag shows, get brunch, go shopping. Why in the hell would a straight man be into that?
Meanwhile my boys and I just get together and talk about sports, fantasy leagues, working out, video games. Most straight girls aren’t into that. Not saying none of them are, but just not many.
So if you’re a girl and you have some guy friend who’s straight and for some damn reason he likes doing a bunch of girly shit with you, this guy is either no actually straight (which is ok) or he’s just pretending to have common interests with you so that he can win you over.
Yes. I have many women friends and I’ve been attracted to some of them on occasion and it’s never been a problem because I can control myself.
The feeling fades, the friendship lasts.
The most important thing that makes a woman attractive is that they are attracted to me. So if that’s not going to happen, then I can be friends with her. Besides, women have friends and if you can be a good friend to one women then she can set you up with her friends who might find you attractive.
I think it’s weird to think you can’t have friends and never be attracted to them. There’s a big difference between finding a woman, attractive and wanting to be in a relationship with them. I’ve had plenty of female friends who I think are attractive people, but I have no interest in dating them because I know certain parts of them would be dealbreaker for me.
I can recognize when people are attractive without being attracted, or wanting to act on it in any way. I don’t know why so many people act like all opposite sex interactions have to be sexual, romantic, or non existent. It’s really limiting.
I can be attracted to a woman but also mature enough to realize that a relationship would be a bad idea and that suppressing any desire would result in less problems
Like brother and sister. The trick is simple: Don’t be desperate.
Really hard to do it with someone I’m attracted to. It’s always going to be in the back of my head, unless I’m extremely happy in my own current relationship.
So no, I’m not friends with women unless they are married/long-term taken, unattractive, or I’m in a happy relationship.
I have an answer to the age old question as to whether men and women can have strictly platonic friendships.
Yes. I can have female friends that I am not physically or sexually attracted to. Hell, I can even have female friends in which I am attracted to in some ways, because I have this special little trick called… dun dun dunnnnn, self control. Even if a female friend of mine is like what I’d consider attractive, if I’d rather keep a relationship platonic rather than attempt (whether successfully or I fail) to make it more than that, I’ve never had a problem doing so. But yeah, I’ve also had female friends that male friends of mine liked who I’ve never felt any attraction to.
I don’t know, you don’t have to want to sleep with every woman you meet. My… I guess soon to be ex wife had an issue with me having female friends because of that, and I tried to explain to her that she really has no reason to be threatened by them. Even after the divorce, I really don’t see myself with some of them.
I’ve had best friends that are women, and while I don’t know how they felt, I never wanted anything beyond a friendship with them. Admittedly, we’d usually drift apart when they got with someone because that someone usually was of the belief that “men and women can’t be friends”.
I have female friends I find attractive. I also realized a long time ago we might not be compatible as a couple but they are great friends I value for reasons besides them being pretty. I have no qualms being life-long friends with these women. Sure, I’d be happy if something more did happend, but I wouldn’t say I actively want it to because it could wind up ruining the friendship.
I have female friends I also acknowledge are pretty but aren’t my type. I genuinely feel a familial relationship as tho I’m their brother and even though they aren’t ugly, I’d still feel very strange I’d they ever made a move on me because we feel like family.
I also have female friends who are in neither category that I just appreciate as friends. We aren’t that close and I don’t find them attractive at all, but we have mutual interests and mutual friends and I appreciate them for that.
Tl;dr:
The friends I find attractive, I’d rather have around as friends. The friends I don’t find attractive, I still want around as friends. Friendship is, and always has been, very important to me. I’d hate to lose any of my friends.
I’m in my 30s so at this point any friend is welcome. Selfishly tho if she’s cute she probably has cute friends so that’s a plus. But I have an attractive friend who doesn’t have many friends and we’re cool too
I’m perfectly comfortable with it as long as I have an established boundary or very obvious boundary to go off of (i.e. she rejected me, she’s already in a relationship, I’m not interested in her sexually/romantically, etc.). Step 1 for me is always “okay so WTF am I supposed to do here?” Established boundaries answer that question easily.
I should probably mention that I’m an ASD-passing ADHD man, so I have no idea if neurotypical men are any different. This is honestly just how I interact with social norms. It’s a lot easier to navigate the maze if I’m allowed to see where the walls are before I bumble into them.
That said, I can’t prevent my reproductive instinct from bringing the topic of sex to my mind, but having an answer to “but why nooooot” makes it so much easier to shut it down for a while and get on with my life. It’s oddly similar to how I deal with anxiety attacks in that respect.
If I found her attractive and I did not have an answer to “why not”, then I’d have a hard time resisting the FOMO to pursue her romantically. But that’s easily remedied if she can reject me without making a big deal of it. There’s no FOMO when there’s no chance. I just need to know if she wants me to keep going or back off. Unfortunately, a lot of women can’t fathom that this really is how my brain works, and that I’m perfectly fine and happy being just friends now that I have my answer.
One of us has always wanted to fuck the other. It may not be something either of us actively pursue, for one reason or another, but someone has always been attracted to the other (or mutually).
I’ve had plenty of platonic women friends who I never wanted to date or had feelings for.
That being said, if they had said “yo let’s fuck,” I probably would have done it, as long as they were on board for it not being more.
I don’t know if that answers this well.
One of my best friends for years was a woman, and this was during the time in my 20s that I was very active in dating around. We served tables at a restaurant at the time and I had eventually developed a bit of a reputation there, which to be fair was overblown – I was a nice guy, just casually dated around a lot and was always upfront about my intentions. It was actually the guys at the restaurant who had the most negative things to say about me.
She used to actually help me out by correcting the record on my behalf, which in turned helped me a lot in cases where a new hire might hear bad things about me before getting to know me.
Beyond that, we were there for each other through tough times. Her husband cheated on her and she was going through a divorce, which was really hard for her. I went through a pretty deep depression in my later 20s and she used to come over, clean my house, and just spend time with me watching TV or chit-chatting so I wouldn’t be alone.
She was the best friend I ever had. Full disclosure, we did sleep together once, but she was the one pushing for it. It was right after her divorce and she said we would still be just platonic friends – that this one time was just to kind of get her mind off of all of it and would be meaningless. After that, we never did anything beyond friendly hugs. We were very close for years.
Only kind of drifted apart after I got into a serious relationship with my now ex-fiancée, who was not comfortable with me hanging out with a girl I’d slept with, even as friends. Ironically, she’s the one who ended up cheating on me.
I guess it might not count since my friend and I did sleep together, but we would have been just as good friends if we didn’t. We were already close friends for a few years before that happened.
I’ve had friends who were girls that I didn’t want to bang. I treated them like one of the boys, and yes they were attractive.
Never been a problem for me. I’ve had plenty of platonic friendships with women. Sometimes people fall for their friends and that’s not a bad thing, but sometimes people are friends for other reasons too.
I can but I’ve learned some men can’t be friends with women and some women can’t be friends with men. I’ve had close female friends and they were just like my close male friends. There was nothing beyond friendship and that was nice.
Not if there’s an attraction. I have three long term female friends and 2 of them have never been my type and the other I tried it with 17 years ago and she didn’t go for it.
I’ve had good experiences with my female friends (including one I had asked out and been rejected; wound up becoming friends anyway).
I’d count I have 4 women friends, aged between 30 and 47 (I’m 46 in a month). Not counting my male friends’ wives – I got to know them through my friends, so they’re not first my friends.
I don’t want anything more from them. What I get (fun people to meet, have maybe a few beers and a chat with) is plenty. And I suppose, if I really wanted to get into a relationship, I could lean on them for hints and tips and introductions to their single friends.
Basically yes because even if I found someone attractive, that didn’t mean I saw them as compatible enough with me for anything more, so certainly I had actual female friends with no agenda about.
>to all the men who are attracted to women: what is your experience with platonic female friends?
When I was younger (like elementary to some of high school,) they were just girls. I had some similarities and shared a handful of interests with them, but that’s about it. I didn’t really think they were very pretty or beautiful, but they certainly weren’t unattractive either.
>I know, it’s the age old question of “can men and women have strictly platonic friendships?” As a woman, I have no problem with having men as platonic friends. Some of my best friends have been guys. However, I’m starting to notice a pattern… almost all of the guys I’ve been friends with over the years have eventually confessed that they wanted to be something more. I didn’t reciprocate feelings for any of them and unfortunately lost great friendships because of it.
I think they can, anybody who says otherwise either gets attracted way too easily or has been raised to believe otherwise. As for the “friends to more” thing that does make figuring out if the feelings are mutual or not for some peoplewqy more difficult, especially if they’re not recipricated. If the guy/girl is already spoken for/dating and they still hangout, I feel like they we’re interested in much more than a friendship, or if they get cold about you they might have had feelings. There’s not a great way to know one way or another.
>So for all the straight/bi men out there who like women: would you be able to be “just friends” with a woman you find attractive without the expectation of something more? Do you have many platonic relationships with women?
Yeah, at least on “friendly terms,” kind of friend. I know a couple of women in my life who are single, they’re pretty, and a few other things about them that would make them attractive, but then there are aspects about them that go against that attraction and heavily, acting as a bit of a barrier to wanting to be more with them. Other factors that make that attraction disappear is if they’re already dating somebody or married, they become strictly platonic. I don’t mind hanging out and talking with them, so I could be platonic, sometimes you just like the vibe they bring.
Maybe it’s because I’m still single, or maybe it’s because of where I live, but I haven’t really met anybody I have been dying to date. I have met a few women that at least I can have a half-decent conversation with them, but not much beyond that. That said, I don’t know if I just live in the wrong place to date (and be with) the right person, or just I am in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I have one very close female friend. I think it mainly depends on the nature of the friendship and how both people approach it. The current one is more like a sister to me than anything else – this may stem from the fact that our friendship started out quite young – but I am literally unable to see her in any other way. Even so, I am aware and can appreciate that she is attractive, yet I am not particularly attracted to her, I think because of our platonic friendship.
Think I just made my first one actually. She’s cool we talk about game of thrones and what we hate or like . We pass back movie suggestions and watch them. Hasn’t been going that long but hopefully it continues we plan on going to a ren faire next month. I don’t feel the need to be masculine in the way that I do with my male friends or romantic prospects.
I have good long standing platonic relationships with a few women.
My general rule is to not even consider any of my friends as dating options unless an obvious romantic connection between us has developed on its own, which very rarely happens. I have about 5 close friends, all women, I have about 6 more that are in my circle that I chat with every now and then. Trauma has unfortunately made bonding with other men very difficult for me, so I find genuine comfort with women, and I feel much more trusting with them emotionally.
For me at least, I started off feeling extremely lonely and invisible. But I managed to make a friend, and through her, I made more friends, and before I knew it I was surrounded by people who all recognised me as a genuinely good person. I still occasionally feel lonely, but I’m absolutely not invisible anymore, and I feel infinitely more confident thanks to the compassion I’ve received from my friends.
As corny as it sounds, the love I wished for for so many years was found not in a relationship, but in the friendships I’ve grown to cherish over the years. I love them all and feel so grateful for their friendship. I just wish more men explored this side of interacting with women, where they see women as nothing more than the human beings they are. I’ve learned so much from my friends, and I feel like I’m a much better person because of it
I have many platonic female friends and I’ve never been into any of them. Tbh that’s why they are just my friends. Though I think a couple have been into me.
I Had Always a crush in her Kind of. We Had some “fun” after a Party. More then a few Times. But it never went some where. We still remained Friends. Currently she is married with a Kid Same goes for me.
I have several platonic friendships, which I’ve maintained longer than my marriage itself. They’re mostly attractive, young professionals. We just never had a romantic element to our relationship, so those feelings never manifested.
They’ve all met my wife and spent time with us regularly. There’s nothing odd about having friends of all genders and sexual orientations.
No longer have any. Don’t have time and neither do they.
Kids and work and such.
Once upon a time I had many and it was fine. The same was somewhat true for male friends.
Honestly, these days, I only have my family. I do not have the time to cultivate friendships outside my home or cordial relations in the workplace.
I am generally not attracted to them or prevent myself from entertaining such ideas because they are partnered or otherwise not a real option.
They’re friends who happen to have vaginas
>I know, it’s the age old question of “can men and women have strictly platonic friendships?”
Reddit only repeats this cause most of them are desperate virgins that can’t imagine not sleeping with any women who show the slightest modicum of interest.
>However, I’m starting to notice a pattern… almost all of the guys I’ve been friends with over the years have eventually confessed that they wanted to be something more. I didn’t reciprocate feelings for any of them and unfortunately lost great friendships because of it.
That’s because most men prefer the avenue of creating a friendship with someone before taking it up to the next level, which makes sense in theory because you’d already know so much about them that it’d make romantic/sexual relationships much easier.
I literally got downvoted in another thread on this very sub saying it’s a bad idea to guys who were getting mass upvotes saying the best way to get laid is proposition female friends.
My core friend group of the last several years consists of myself, another straight man, and 5 straight women. I find all of the women in the group attractive (one remarkably so), but I’ve never tried to fuck any of them and can honestly say I never would. I view them as friends—it would be weird to view them as anything else. Potentially jeopardizing a valued friendship over a physical desire that I could satisfy literally anywhere else is just inconceivable to me.
There is absolutely a difference between acknowledging someone’s attractiveness and pursuing them sexually, and it’s honestly embarrassing to see so many dudes freely admitting that they can’t separate those concepts.
I firmly believe that guys who “can’t be friends with attractive women” really just don’t view women as people. It really isn’t hard to have self control and compartmentalize your personal relationships…
Plenty when single. Feels inappropriate when taken.
Not good for me. If I like her enough to be friends, then I become attracted to her, and that makes it difficult to be platonic.
Bahahaha I usually end up banging them. Platonic friendship is possible but usually both parties have to be uninterested. I have had female friends though where we’re basically just buddies, but usually spending a lot of time with a girl leads to sex if you play your cards right.
It works great as long as there is a mutual lack of physical attraction.
I can be friends with them without ever having more, but I’ll catch feelings at some point and want more. If I wouldn’t date someone then most likely I wouldn’t be good friends with them, only option if they’re completely unattractive for me (which rarely happens). So I’d never develop feelings for an acquaintance but will always get them for close friends and female best friends. I think my post history answers this better than my comment, tho.