I wonder if tou have also experienced something like this and how you got over. My partner keeps constantly correcting me, saying that the execution of things is lacking. Even if I spill some milk on the table while making breakfast it’s immediate „why didn’t you clean” and I’m like cause I am still making breakfast I will clean everything when I finish. He sometimes says that if his mother would see me… and I’m like okay but I’m not your mother’s trainee and I’m gonna clean it whenever I want (meaning after finishing the whole proccess). He thinks I am messy, chaotic, unorganised. Well I have adhd and autism spectrum but I try so hard. I don’t wanna be constantly corrected, I don’t need to be repaired. I have already changed so much for him. Sometimes I catch myself being really nervous and anxious cause I feel that he is already judging. But damn, I work, I clean, I take care of my pets it’s not that I am a dysfunctional person that needs a guardian. He even comments the way I eat. Of course once again problematic cause 1) he claims that he has mysophonia so for him I reduced all the noises I would make when eating 3) I have ED and chronic stomach&intestinal problems so sometimes I need to change my eating habits according to the situation and he’s like „you’re not gonna waste food” etc. So then my answer is „do you want me to vomit?”. I signed us up for couple’s therapy but it realky feels as though he was my parent not a partner. I don’t correct him even tho I am sure I would find areas in which in my opinion he would benefit some changes. Like getting ready to work, studying, focusing on promotion etc instead of constantly complaining that he doesn’t have money. But I don’t do that becasue heck he is an adult I’m an adult and relatio ship isn’t about fixing each other.
I need some advice really cause it’s driving me nuts. And ofc afterwards I am the o e called emotional, crazy etc because I am alteady short tempered especially when he corrects me all the time. Sometimes I really want to yell into his face „JUST SHUT THE FU*K UP AND LET ME LIVE”. Ofc I don’t do that but you get my level of frustration…
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he sounds verbally abusive and controlling. leave. he’s not worth it
Why are you wasting your time and energy with someone who dislikes you so much?
Fight fire with fire… do it back to him. Nitpick how he drives, how he talks, how he breathes. Make him feel pestered and nitpicked. Tell him how much better your father is than him at ‘anything’.
Or, hear me out, or, just leave him. You don’t want to live like this. Day in, day out, year on year. He sounds like a punish. And a Mama’s boy.
Imagine having kids with him, he’d criticise you for making too much noise giving birth, for not parenting how his Mummy did. Ugh, no thanks. I’d rather be single, with my pets, and revel in my chaos.
Life’s too short to live under the microscope of this holier-than-though attitude, and the threat of his Mother’s ‘standards’.
Sounds like he is neurodivergent too, just not aware of it?
It helped me a lot once I realized that it’s my autism telling me things have to be done in a certain way (even when there’s no logical reasoning behind it). Your partner sounds like that and if he realized it’s his problem maybe that would help?
The purpose of dating is to see if it’s a good fit.
It sounds like he was raised to clean as he goes for example whereas you don’t see the point and will do it all when you’re through.
Neither is right or wrong but habits are hard to shake.
How would I handle it? “Get out of the kitchen. I don’t require supervision.”
My partner is like you and it drives me nuts. So I don’t go in the kitchen when he’s cooking.
too hard too tiring to deal with that BS. Kick him out and end it and stop putting up with his bullshit.
Why are you in this relationship?
You need to do the love is respect website quiz so you can see how unhealthy this relationship is for yourself
My advice is to leave because he will not change and you cannot be happy with constantly being critisized. He cannot change. This is who he is. He was raised this way. He doesn’t see you as an equal or a partner, he sees you as below him, and he sees himself as being in a position to judge you and supervise you and give you correction. This is not a dynamic that you’re going to be able to change, from my personal experience. He’ll never be satisfied with you, and he’ll always hate how you do everything, because it’s not the way he thinks it should be done. And if you struggle to meet all his expectations, he’ll just let you know that you’ve failed him in other ways you didn’t even know about. Because keeping you in this state of “trying so hard” and him being like “You’re not good enough” is exactly what he wants. This is exacty what he wants. For you to be desperate to make him happy, and him getting to put you down all the time. It WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE.
And if you don’t want to be CONSTANTLY critisized for the REST OF YOUR LIFE you are going to have to leave him. Good luck.