I live with two roommates – all of us in our late 20s. Our house is very clean and we all contribute to our fair share of duties. There’s barely any dishes in the sink, we all sweep, vacuum, wipe down the counters, keep the bathrooms clean. I also have a cat and scoop the litter / sweep around the box every day.
Yesterday, I wasn’t home majority of the day and my roommates decided to “spring clean” without telling me. I’m not sure what they did since I haven’t been home but last night, one of them sends me a text about their project and gives me a long to-do list of things to do including pulling out both the fridge and stove to clean behind them (i’m a petite woman so i’m not sure if i could even do this by myself), getting on top of the counters and cleaning above the cabinets, wipe the kitchen vents and get a ladder to clean the kitchen lights (which i don’t own).
I move out in 2 months and I really don’t think it’s fair to rope me into their project without discussing what we would all be doing beforehand. plus I’ve only lived here for 8 months and they have both been here for years, so most of the accumulation of grime is likely not from me. We already don’t get along, so i think I’m going to ignore the text and continue my regular habit of cleaning up after myself. This is their cleaning project i wasn’t given heads up on until after the fact and sound like they are giving me the dirty work. Am and an asshole for not engaging?
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I live with two roommates – all of us in our late 20s. Our house is very clean and we all contribute to our fair share of duties. There’s barely any dishes in the sink, we all sweep, vacuum, wipe down the counters, keep the bathrooms clean. I also have a cat and scoop the litter / sweep around the box every day.
Yesterday, I wasn’t home majority of the day and my roommates decided to “spring clean” without telling me. I’m not sure what they did since I haven’t been home but last night, one of them sends me a text about their project and gives me a long to-do list of things to do including pulling out both the fridge and stove to clean behind them (i’m a petite woman so i’m not sure if i could even do this by myself), getting on top of the counters and cleaning above the cabinets, wipe the kitchen vents and get a ladder to clean the kitchen lights (which i don’t own).
I move out in 2 months and I really don’t think it’s fair to rope me into their project without discussing what we would all be doing beforehand. plus I’ve only lived here for 8 months and they have both been here for years, so most of the accumulation of grime is likely not from me. We already don’t get along, so i think I’m going to ignore the text and continue my regular habit of cleaning up after myself. This is their cleaning project i wasn’t given heads up on until after the fact and sound like they are giving me the dirty work. Am and an asshole for not engaging?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> not responding to them or not contributing to their cleaning project
might make me the asshole as i’m not communicative or doing my fair share of
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
Wondering what part of a deep clean they actually did themselves – because it sounds like you’ve been asked to do the bulk of it.
NTA. These aren’t necessary tasks, and you never consented to help. Nope nope nope
NTA Clean behind the fridge and stove when you are moving out in two months? Nope. Their wishful thinking does not magically become a “must do” list for you. If they wanted your help, they should have included you in the conversation.
nTA. They gave you the dirty work.
NTA
Everyone should be involved in the upkeep of the property but they explicitly excluded you in the planning phase.
The stuff they have listed is part of a deep clean, but is also not necessarily feasible for one person to do especially if you don’t own the tools to do it.
If they had a bug up their butt to deep clean, you needed to be involved.
NTA
“What text?”
NTA, they just wanted to use you one last time before you are gone
You might not be the AH but part of getting along with others is doing something you don’t want to do. It is called adult relationships and choosing to not burn a bridge.
Of course you can also make it conditional: I’ll be glad to help out with the cleaning but I’ll need help moving the appliances.