Edit: my gf is 27 not 37. I didn’t notice the typo in the title.
Last night my girlfriend went out for drinks with a friend. While they were out my girlfriends friend found out her boyfriend was cheating on her.
They live together so my girlfriend told her friend she could stay at ours. When my girlfriend got home I asked what was going on and she told me her friend would be staying with us for a few days.
I explained that’s not practical since we only have one bed. My gf said I could have the sofa for the night and then her friend could stay on the sofa for the foreseeable until she sorts things out.
I said no to this and said I’m not going to be kicked out of my own bed. I said her friends can stay on the sofa for the night and then leave the next day. I pointed out she has other options of places to stay.
My gf said i was being cruel but I pointed out she doesn’t just get to invite people to stay over without discussing it first.
My gf said she wasn’t asking for much but I disagreed and said she’d have to find somewhere else to stay.
How would you handle this?
Tl;dr my girlfriend invited her friend to stay with us and expected me to give up my bed after her friend found out her partner was cheating. I refused to give up my bed and said her friend can stay for one night and my girlfriend said I was cruel.
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You’re not being cruel. Honestly, your GF should have discussed this with you before committing to her friend invading your space.
You should be asked before guests are invited. Unfortunate what happened to the friend, but you need your space in your home.
you’re not being cruel at all. it’s a hard no to let someone else decide you’re being kicked out of your own bed. in addition your place simply isn’t suitable to house a guest for a longer time than someone staying for the night on your sofa. simple as that
Ur gf is being unreasonable.
Looks like Ur gf cares more about her friend than u.
U may have to review Ur relationship
I don’t think her bringing the friend home unannounced for the night given the circumstances was inappropriate. But offering her the bed was. And offering for her to stay for a few days without speaking to you was.
In an “emergency” offering someone a spot for the night makes sense to me. My partner has done it a couple of times for a buddy. But I didn’t get kicked out of my bedroom. He took the couch.
Now having company in general or offering someone a place to stay for days? I’d be livid if my partner didn’t consult me.
She shoulda asked. You could’ve been nicer.
If I was in your position both of them would be embarking of being single together if she didn’t ever come around to seeing where I was coming from. That level of inconsideration is a dealbreaker for me personally. I can understand one night on the couch, even if she didn’t ask you first. It’s her place too and one night isn’t entirely unreasonable… but she can’t just move her friend into your one bedroom and expect you to be cool with it while also banishing you to the couch lol. Your girlfriend is being unreasonable.
You’re not wrong your gf should’ve known she can’t just volunteer the space she’s sharing with you.
You’re kind of the ass. Bringing her friend home and asking you to use the sofa for one night isn’t out of line. Yeah she could have handled it better but her friend just received devastating news. Sharing the bed for one night for girl talk is simply being compassionate. You need an empathy booster shot. The real assholes are the commenters telling you to dump her.
All it would have taken was a phonecall “x’s” boyfriend has cheated on her, is it ok with you if she stop tonight? Then discuss the extra couple of days the next morning. So No you are not being Cruel.
why does she call you cruel? She wants her own way.
Calling you cruel for that either means she’s too immature for an adult, sheltered beyond belief, or both.
So the 2 of them share the bed? That’s weird.
INFO: what were the friend’s other options that you knew about?
I wouldn’t take issue with the friend crashing on the couch for a few days. In this case, it’s a bad situation and she offered some help.
But nobody gets my bed.
You are missing out on the power of being magnanimous – much underrated skill. If i were you, I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the carpet!
Yeah, I’ve read your comments in the responses on the same thing posted on AITAH – you don’t give a f about your girlfriend. It’s all about you, you, you. And you have this weird obsession with coming across as weak if you “do as your told”. Have a bloody adult conversation and be OPEN to solutions not just “I’m a grown man and shouldn’t be disrupted by having someone sleep on my couch for a while”.
I don’t understand why you posted it in either of these – as you clearly are not looking for advice or anything else that doesn’t go exactly the way you want it to.
Tell your GF that this isn’t right for you to unilaterally invite someone to live with you without discussing it first. Tell her that if she’s going to do that, she can get her own place.
You both sound a bit disrespectful of each other but you give off bossy 1950’s “Man of the house my word is law” vibes. Yuck.