AITA: so my wife and i we rent part of our home out to a roommate and we’ve worked hard to have a good quiet house. my roommates daughter asked if her friend could stay cause of family problems. at first i was willing to talk about it but then i got to thinking.
this girl already got kicked out of her moms then moved in with her dad and grandma and they kicked her out too. from what i hear its cause she never home and dont wanna follow rules. when reagan (my roommates daughter) told her what was offered here she kinda turned her nose up at it like it wasnt good enough. i dont get that. you either need a place or you dont. dont look a gift horse in the mouth you know.
but here’s the big thing. i got a felony record for robbery. it was literally just a text message and it still took my life apart. i spent years rebuilding. i finally got some peace and im not about to risk all that. i dont know this girl. she’s young and unstable and been bouncing house to house. i’m not saying she would make up something about me but its possible. i seen it happen to other people. if she ever got mad and said something false it dont matter if its true or not. i could get arrested right out my house in front of neighbors, end up on the mugshot sites, lose everything i built. all for being nice.
so i told my roommate no i wasnt comfortable with it. she understood but some people say im being too cautious or judging. but i aint risking my life for somebody i dont know just cause they need a place to stay. i feel bad for her but i gotta protect what i got.
so AITA for saying no and not letting her move in?
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AITA: so my wife and i we rent part of our home out to a roommate and we’ve worked hard to have a good quiet house. my roommates daughter asked if her friend could stay cause of family problems. at first i was willing to talk about it but then i got to thinking.
this girl already got kicked out of her moms then moved in with her dad and grandma and they kicked her out too. from what i hear its cause she never home and dont wanna follow rules. when reagan (my roommates daughter) told her what was offered here she kinda turned her nose up at it like it wasnt good enough. i dont get that. you either need a place or you dont. dont look a gift horse in the mouth you know.
but here’s the big thing. i got a felony record for robbery. it was literally just a text message and it still took my life apart. i spent years rebuilding. i finally got some peace and im not about to risk all that. i dont know this girl. she’s young and unstable and been bouncing house to house. i’m not saying she would make up something about me but its possible. i seen it happen to other people. if she ever got mad and said something false it dont matter if its true or not. i could get arrested right out my house in front of neighbors, end up on the mugshot sites, lose everything i built. all for being nice.
so i told my roommate no i wasnt comfortable with it. she understood but some people say im being too cautious or judging. but i aint risking my life for somebody i dont know just cause they need a place to stay. i feel bad for her but i gotta protect what i got.
so AITA for saying no and not letting her move in?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I choose not to allow her into our home and female friends are saying I’m accusing her of something without any proof it could happen.
I hate people hating me, I hate not helping those that need it, I love my family and want to protect us, but what if I could have helped her?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nope. You already know it’s a bad idea. NTA
“i got a felony record for robbery. it was literally just a text message and it still took my life apart.”
Please make this make sense.
NTA. You’ve worked hard to rebuild your life. This girl sounds like she has some things to work on, but she needs to be doing that with family or others who may be able to support in a professional capacity (guidance counselors, etc.). While it’s nice that her friend wants to help, it’s not fair to put you at risk. Stand firm with the no.
Never ever put a young female anywhere near a non family male. Period
Thats it. The answer is no. No need to go further.
NTA Don’t invite chaos into your peace.
You don’t owe this person anything, it’s a far off connection.
NTA. It’s your house. Warn the mom that if her daughter sneaks her friend in that that would be grounds for her daughter to be evicted
NTA. It sounds like this kid needs help to get straightened out, but guess what-it doesn’t have to be you that takes the responsibility on. It is OK to say no and protect your well-being , home, and family. The consequences of things going pear-shaped are real, and probable, based on her history. I know we’d all like to be seen as be good, giving, generous people, so if you feel compelled, maybe your version of supporting your housemate is offering some guidance on where to find resources, therapy, housing, etc.
NTA. This type of shit just never works out.
I’m confused why your “roommate’s daughter”, who doesn’t live with you (since if she did she would just be a roommate), is offering your place without asking you first? That’s pretty entitled.
And her friend doesn’t like this option, so why are you even discussing it? She made her choice.
There are thousands of ways you can be/are nice every day. You don’t have to take on someone else’s problem child, which is literally what she is, to consider yourself a good person. You want to help her, help her in another way. Or help other people. But no, NTA. Keep your quiet household. That is your sanctuary. Don’t invite trouble into your home.
INFO: felony robbery for a text message?
You don’t need any reason to say no to opening your home to someone. NTA. Stop discussing this, thinking about this, stressing about this. Just “no, sorry, its not going to work. Best of luck!”
If anyone gives you a hassle just “sorry, its not going to work for me. How about those [insert local sports team, weather phenomena, celebrity news, etc]?”