i (24F) ghosted my boyfriend (25M)

r/

I feel like I didn’t handle this the right way after over 18 months together. I was feeling suspicious as all week he’s been engaging with people on social media (when he doesn’t really use anything but TikTok). I heard him speaking to another woman in the bathroom for extended periods of time and felt weird about it. When he left his Apple Watch at my house, I looked through it. What I saw disgusted me (texts to multiple women, none of which are local to us, some flirtatious and some outright suggestive) Just this week we were discussing marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. I very calmly packed up all his things, dropped them at a family member’s home, untangled our accounts and subscriptions and finally blocked him everywhere. After a few calls from his brother’s phone, he sent the police to my house to do a welfare check and I told them he is not my boyfriend. Did I handle this the right way? My friends are suggesting we talk and redefine boundaries but I’m not sure if I should open that bag of worms (he can be very persuasive).

Comments

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  2. zuzosaur Avatar

    Cutting him off is right, but I feel he should know why that’s happening to him. And more than anything else I feel closure is importance when there’s an opportunity, you can maybe write a few reminders or bullet points that remind you of why you took this decision, in case you meet him.
    Having said that, what he’s done is disgusting, and you definitely deserve better!

  3. Professional-Sir5184 Avatar

    I think you handled it very well. Maybe tell him why you left tho, but don’t let him weasel his way back. After 18 months together he should not be sending flirty messages to other women

  4. Total_Procedure_110 Avatar

    If you feel that’s how you want to handle things, no one can tell you how you feel about something being non-negotiable.

    Though I will say, to move forward in life w maximum spirit, do communicate w him at least once, to let him know. but that doesn’t mean it has to be a conversation or a back and forth, and it doesn’t mean you have to take him back just because he says he will change.

  5. itsyaboicg Avatar

    I think ghosting after 1.5 years is a little immature, or at least shows you avoid any confrontation or difficult conversation. Outside of that you handled it well. I just think one text before you blocked him everywhere saying something about how you saw all of the stuff and the relationship is over would have been good.

  6. Wooden_Employer_2287 Avatar

    I don’t think you did anything in the wrong way! Particularly decisive, I’d call it. He surely has a sneaking suspicion why you did this, after all, he was hiding in the bathroom talking to a woman. I see no need to discuss further, your friends seem like drama llamas who want an extended breakup to hash over together.

  7. Consistent_Proof_772 Avatar

    He’s gonna be in a mental hospital trying to figure out what you know! What did he do and it’s all gonna come back to? I left my Apple watch at her place and she read my text messages from a TikTok video lol