I’m 19 male. My girlfriend(20F) and I have been together for 2 years. The last few months she’s started touching my crotch in public. At first it was very lightly and I thought it was kinda hot, because it was so slight it wasn’t really that noticeable and definitely not noticeable to the public. But it started to get more and more and it’s at the point now where she’s literally grabbing my dick and balls. I’ve kept telling her to stop, that’s it’s weird and wildly inappropriate to be doing it in public… in front of people. I tell her at the time and we’ve had multiple conversations about it.
Until 3 days ago when we were in a shop and she grabbed my crotch and started like massaging it straight away before I even had time to process she was doing it. I backed up from her, looked at her and didn’t say anything and left. She came running out the shop asking me why I was angry with her, and I just couldn’t believe she was asking that question. When we got back to the hotel (we were away together), I told her if she won’t stop doing it I’ll leave her, after I said that I left the hotel and went home.
The next day she texted me saying if we can meet up and talk, I agreed and all she had to say when I met her what that I was being totally unreasonable about it all, saying that she only does it because she loves me and find me attractive and that’s she’s not going to stop. I once again told her I’m leaving then, got up and went to walk away and then she shouted that she’ll stop.
We were then walking back to my place and I saw out the corner of my eye her hand starting to move to my crotch, I side stepped and told her I’m done. She said she wasn’t going to do it and
She started shouting about me being an asshole, that I’m overreacting, etc.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA. If the roles were reversed, you would have probably had the cops called on you. Definitely not okay
Run. NTA. This is sexual assault and she’s downplaying it. RUN
Nope.
Your body is not a toy for her to fondle at will. If she can’t respect that then it’s a good time to walk away.
NTA
It doesn’t matter what he reasons are, if you’re uncomfortable with any kind of physical contact and you express that, she should stop. The fact that you told her multiple times and warned her and she STILL went for it again speaks volumes.
If she’s willing to cross this boundary, what other boundaries is she comfortable with crossing?
Imagine this question coming from a female….
No you’re NTAH she is. You’ve told her your boundaries and she doesn’t care
NTA. It’s not about your cock and balls. It’s about basic respect and boundaries. Don’t waste your time on someone who has no respect for you and who is unable or unwilling to take no for an answer. Her behavior will only get worse, and on different subjects. If she can’t respect you and your boundaries, give her the boot. NTA.
You’re not in the wrong here. If the situation had been flipped, chances are the police would’ve been involved. That kind of behavior just isn’t acceptable.
Time to cut ties with this one. I don’t care what excuses she has handed you, once made aware of her actions, as wildly inappropriate as they are, it should have stopped then and there. But instead of stopping, it actually escalated!! Where would end? With your erect Johnson on view for all the world to see…IN PUBLIC. I happen to think my husband is the hottest man on earth…I am a guy too…But neither of us grab at each other’s privates when we are out and about. Whatever weird kink your ex has…It shows you no respect at all. You said stop. That should have been the end of the conversation. I’d be blocking her too, and not agreeing to meet up with her anywhere.
Oh look, you chose to date a gaslighting humiliator. Cool
Obviously not lol, you told her several times to not touch you and yet she still kept on doing it so breaking up with her is a pretty mature thing to do
You’re not the AH, she is clearly the asshole! She was literally sexually assaulting you in public. Do you have proof, can you still press charges? Cause I would! She is quite literally a piece of shit and you will find someone better.
Hell no you’re NTA. That’s fucked up of her. She’s 20 and doesn’t understand boundaries? Dude, this is literally sexual assault. Get away from her.
NTA
If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries after you told her that several times it’s still assault
LMAO this is hilarious. There is only one solution. Do it back to her! Start rubbing her in public
NTA. It’s already a weird fucking thing to do, but she knew you didn’t want it and did it anyways. That’s vile.
NTA. you literally told her it makes you uncomfortable and to stop, and she kept doing it. that’s SA
Sexual assault. NTA
This one is a little too obvious – or is it😂 Surely, there is someone who may not hate this.
This is assault plain and simple. If it was reversed there would be no question.
I’m so sorry she hasn’t learnt boundaries and y’know common decency. When you say stop it stops. End of.
Keep yourself safe. Make sure to pop it in a message to her that you’re done because she kept doing it and you told her to stop.
Protect yourself darling and I’m sorry it happened to you.
Reverse the roles and people would be calling you a rapist on here
You’re girlfriend is not right in the head
Is this the womans version of a guy setting his dick and ballsack on her left shoulder and leaving some pee dribble?
You thought it was sexy when she was sneaky about it and did it lightly but this is not that. I would also break up with someone if they did that to me in public. NTA. This is about respect; you asked her not to do it over and over again and yet she insisted.
This is classic “no means no” and she’s not listening. She is sexually assaulting you.
Good riddance to bad rubbish as my mom would say.
NTA. She is touching you after you told her to stop. She doesn’t love or respect you. Stay broken up with her. Someone who loves you also respects you, and listens when you ask them to stop doing something that makes you uncomfortable.
I also love my boyfriend and find him attractive. I don’t aggressively grope him in public.. weird ass shit man. NTA.
Sound like she’s got a bit of an exhibitionist thrill seeking kink going on. I’ve known women like that. Either you can get into it or you can’t (and you don’t sound into it) and move on.
I only make this distinction because you might be getting caught up on her not listening to you as the thing that’s pissing you off in itself (and you are right she is going about it poorly – probably can’t empathize with not wanting to be fondled), but I suspect it’s just what gets her going and thinking of it that way might impact your perspective.
NTA
She’s sexually assaulting you in public. This is sexual abuse, and you need to leave her. No warning. Just end things because this is wrong on so many levels.
Shes SA you. You should just dump her. Should also file a police report on her.
NTA. Not at all.
You have clearly told her that you’re not comfortable with this behaviour, you have politely asked her to stop and somehow… she refuses? And you’re supposed to be the asshole?
I get liking your boyfriend, and I get thinking that he’s hot and wanting to get your hands on him, but that does not excuse overruling your boyfriend’s boundaries and violating his personal sphere and trust.
This is such entitled behaviour! And I’m really sorry that she’s treating you like this. You deserve so much better.
You are not – in any way, shape or form – overreacting or the asshole. Leave her and never look back.
Your girlfriend doesn’t understand the word “no” ….. as a woman I would think she would understand this …. It works both ways
WTF YTA if you stay with someone who keeps sexually assaulting you!!! She’s a psychotic, lying loser. She knows you don’t want her touching you in public, you’ve told her multiple times. But she keeps doing it!? That’s literally ILLEGAL & you need to dump her. Consent matters, even when it comes to touching! It sounds like she either thinks it’s hot & doesn’t care if you don’t want her to, or she wants to humiliate you by making you get a boner in public. It’s literally lewd acts in public, sexual harassment & sexual assault!!! She could get you in some serious trouble!!!! The fact that she’s your gf doesn’t make it ok!!
She’s a gaslighting pos to top it all off?! Of course.. JFC
She won’t ever stop. She won’t take no for an answer. You need to break up with her, OP. Seriously, dump her & block her today!!!!!!!
Sorry your girlfriends been assaulting you in public. NTA
Tweak her nipple HARD next time she reaches.
That is not normal behavior. There is something wrong mentally with her. She should be glad she isn’t in the Middle East or China. Those two cultures punish physical touching in public.
NTA. Consent is a two way road.
Absolutely NTA. But your gf is repeatedly and unapologetically sexually assaulting you. You’ve withdrawn consent and she is continuing. I’m not even going to bring up how this is imposing upon others. She’s toxic. Bye girl.
There is something wrong with her. That is not normal behavior, ESPECIALLY after being told multiple times to stop. What is she trying to accomplish, in public?! She needs therapy to address her sexual assault habit, because SHE IS ASSAULTING YOU!
NTA. That’s sexual assault and she straight up told you she’s not going to stop.
NTA. Red flag! Reg flag! Reg flag!
Sometimes, people want you to try things while you’re dating, acting like it’s a one-off thrill adventure only for you to find out it’s a habit, obsession or fettish. Now, you know.
IMO, your soon to be ex-gf has a problem and needs therapy. This is not normal behavior. However, this is not your problem. You can’t help her. She can only help herself. Run for the hills while you can!
She’s literally a predator
Get a boyfriend
you’ve been sexually assaulted. This random internet stranger is very proud of you for setting boundaries and standing by them
NTA. This is sexual abuse. I hope you get to talk about how it made you feel to someone safe. I am sorry this happened to you, but you are right : this has to remain in the past. She doesn’t deserve anyone.
NTA. At all. This was absolutely NOT OK. You are allowed to put boundaries in place. Good for you for sticking to them.
NTA, no means no.
NTA, she’s being wildly inappropriate and not respecting your boundaries.
I wouldn’t say you’re an a-hole. Maybe a little uptight though.
You have a right to set boundaries on what you are and are not comfortable doing or being done to you. She has zero respect for you and your boundaries. She told you she wasn’t going to stop. So you should break up with her. It sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.
IF true???
I’d class this as assault ESPECIALLY as she told you “she’s not going to stop” What a disrespectful Kunt!
Time to kick it to the kerb.
It’s inappropriate- but also kinda hot. To me, you don’t really dig this girl. If you did, you’d accept this “wildly inappropriate” behavior. You should let her go.
Understand I’m not defending her , this is NOT appropriate, and is definitely inappropriate without your consent,,, but, she may have a “public” kink
Not you bro, red flag
You got your hands on a clever little minx, most guys get no action at all dude enjoy it while you can.
She has no class and it won’t change. Matter of fact she’s raunchy
You should definitely leave her. What’s her name and phone number, though? I want to know so l can avoid her at all costs
nta she’s a major asshole though.
Not ok. What she is doing is SA. She needs to realise it is not appropriate. If she can’t, she needs to be shown the Exit
So, she is sexually assaulting you in public, and she doesn’t see anything wrong with this. Im happy you stood up for yourself and ended it. I can imagine if you would’ve been the one doing to her after she asked you to stop multiple times. She would’ve filed charges.
NTA
This is sexual assault. Run and don’t go back.
NTA. No one gets to touch you without consent and the fact you told her no means she doesn’t care about your boundaries or feelings.
You would be wrong if you stayed cause you are telling her your boundaries mean nothing .
She was just mad she couldn’t do what she wanted in the situation. Make sure to tell everyone why you broke up so there is no question cause she will for sure spin it to make herself a victim.
Return the favor!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. This girl is trouble already, and will escalate. She has no respect for you, your body, your wishes. Get away from her.
No means no for everyone. Not to mention if she does it in front of the wrong people you could end up arrested for indecency and possibly even be labeled a sex offender.
You are absolutely NTA. You have made it very clear that you are not comfortable with that. She is ignoring your boundaries and sexually assaulting you.
There are other ways people can show they love you and find you attractive, and she is choosing to just do whatever she pleases when you have said it is not okay. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. You are NOT overreacting. She is very much in the wrong, not you.
You poor man…
It seems like a weirdly compulsive behavior. Maybe recommend therapy for her?
But breaking up and keeping your distance is 100% the right move. It IS SA.
NTA, you need to set some firm boundaries with her, and if she can not respect them or won’t respect them, then you need to question if this person is worth your time and energy.
Touching you against your wishes is sexual assault.
Nta. Stay broken up.
Move on. She doesn’t respect you. Exactly what I’d tell a woman in reversed roles. If you’ve explicitly stated that you don’t want her to touch you and she doesn’t respect anyway, she’s not being respectful of you or your boundaries and thus always just accelerates and will be the same thing in other areas. Learn that from her and move onto someone else
Has she had a recent head injury? What on earth?
NTA. You set a boundary and she continues to cross it.
NTA. You told her to stop touching you, she wouldn’t. She doesn’t have YOUR consent or ANY of those pples consent to have this done in front of them. That’s disgusting and repulsive behavior. Run. Run. Run.
NTA She is sexually assaulting you. Repeatedly. Then trying to gaslight you into thinking it’s a problem with you, not her. You gave her a boundary multiple times and she violates it and has said she will continue to. She doesn’t respect you. It doesn’t matter what that boundary is, it’s yours. She doesn’t see your comfort as something she should care about. Bottom line though, this is sexual assault. I’m glad you broke it off. No one deserves that.
NTA. It’s sexual assault. Sounds like a weird kink, of some sort, but it’s still SA.
You’re not over reacting, you have set a boundary. Have said multiple times to stop. She is disregarding your wants and needs. Her touching you this way is actually assault at this point. Good Job on standing up for yourself. Don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking your over reacting or the asshole
NTA. I hate this so much. Not only is it inappropriate, it’s degrading . Ugh I hate this so much for you. Dump her. Don’t look back.
Dude yes break off the person who sexually assaults you on the regular. She’s horrible. Imagine if you grabbed her crotch in public? Or even at home without consent? It would also be assault. She uses the excuses of an abuser, too
NTA she’s actually not right in the head, she needs to see some sort of doctor.
You told your girlfriend that the way she was touching you and the fact she was doing this touching in public was making you very uncomfortable, and you wanted her to stop. In fact, you’ve told her this on more than one occasion. When she pushed the touching even further than she had previously and you (rightfully) protected yourself by enforcing your boundaries, she got upset. Then she said she would continue to act the exact same way even though you have made yourself abundantly clear. This is sexual assault. You shouldn’t be with this woman. Frankly, she shouldn’t be with anyone if she can’t accept and respect other people’s boundaries.
This is literally the weirdest post I’ve read. Dude, your gf has a serious problem! She’s got OCD for your crotch? The fact that not only does she do this, but she does this in public. She refuses to stop, then says she will, then she won’t, like, wtf??? She’s got some type of Pica/mental illness. She needs professional help, and you need to run!
She’s got a very strange obsession and doesn’t seem to care at all, how you feel. Super creepy and messed up! I’m really sorry you’re being objectified!
This is a control issue. You said to stop and she won’t. She thinks she owns you.
NTA at all. As a partner, if she truly does love you, she should be respecting your boundaries. If you say no, then it’s no.
You need to leave her and she needs psychological help. It’s not normal to have no respect for other people’s boundaries. It’s just sexual assault at this point.
def nta
It’s an ingrained habit now. You need to break it. Try holding her hand instead.
NTA just run bro
You placed a completely reasonable boundary that she broke time and time again. Not only are you not the asshold, but that behaviour is a massive redflag.
NTA
that’s sexual assault
NTA. It’s sexual assault
I had an ex who did this, but not in public. It got to the point my guy never knew if it was “go time” or not and started having trouble actually getting hard when it was actually “go time”, for which she took personally.
NTA she is repeatedly sexually assaulting you and clearly has no plans to stop. You are not safe with her.
NTA. What’s messed up about this is she’s doing it in public because she gets off on how uncomfortable it makes him. Don’t stay in relationships with people who take pleasure in your discomfort.
NTA. She needs to stop sexually assaulting you in public. Tell her: i have told you No already. You need to stop sexually assaulting me in public. If not, I may be forced to file a report with the police. This is abuse.