two weeks ago, i had made a post about finding out my boyfriend had lied to be about being with multiple men for years. it was a long week, but through talking and reassurance we had worked it out. he had been going to therapy, he went for his second session, and he ended up being admitted over night to be examined because he was having a panic attack and they did not feel safe releasing him. i had to tell his father, and his father ended up coming and telling me that it is all my fault. and for the last year, (we have been together for two years) he has came to him multiple times saying how unhappy he was, saying how i’m ruining his life and telling him all of my personal information, my insecurities, my personal financial information. and he ended up kicking me and my child out of the house at 3am. (we live in a upper lower apartment and we lived upstairs and he lived downstairs) i didn’t tell my boyfriend this while he was in the hospital. i didn’t want to stress him out as he was already going through a lot (realizing his dad abused him so badly for years he has always hated himself and thought what he had done was so horrible he couldn’t tell anybody, that’s why it was such a big deal because i’m so understanding it made me wonder if there was more to the story). when he had gotten out of the psych ward i had packed me, him and my daughter a bag. i had told him what happened and he said okay let’s move on and do this together. i took him to my moms house for 3 nights, and we stayed at his moms house for two nights (thank god it was the long weekend my daughter was with her father) and everything seemed to be going great. i had found us a awesome apartment, we got a u-haul and had packed everything up and moved in. we spent the first night unpacking, we had sex, hung out, talked and i was so excited we started a new leaf where he can be himself without worrying about his father, what he was gonna think or do to him. mind you, through all of this in waking up at 7am, still taking care of my daughter, packing, still working, taking care of him and walking on egg shells so i don’t have to make him upset or say the wrong thing. on the last night he was here, it was 10pm, i had just gotten to put my kid down after everything and had texted him “hey im super tired can you please get a load of laundry together so i can wash it so we all have clean clothes” he proceeds to say that he is tired too, and for me to do it after i put her to bed. we have a couple texts and i come to him and say “ i’m honestly becoming very very upset i’m here for you in every which way and i feel like im putting myself way out between me and you don’t go and run and tell everyone a conversation i’m trying to have one on one as adults but im feeling extremely unfair everything i do is for our family and the house and i feel like im putting way more out than you. i feel like the stuff you’re doing is to make sure your stuff is straight for when you have to leave and not for the home and us together i put in a lot of time and money and haven’t asked much and i’m starting to become really really upset and feeling unfair “. he had made it a point to only organize his stuff and put it into totes in the basement while im doing the rest of the house, i paid for security, first months of rent, $600 grocery bill, and everything else the house needed alone by myself. he lost it on me. said mean nasty things, then came here and called his mom, started screaming at me and getting in my face, i had asked him to calm down because he was going to wake up the kid and he said “i don’t give a fuck about if i wake her up, not my fucking kid call her dad who actually made this family”. i was heart broken, i said please get out right now and he screamed more then finally left. he loves my daughter like his own, he’s always treated her amazing and never once made her feel out of the family. the next day, he came and got everything. he took the fish tank he got for my child’s birthday, left the fish in a bowl, took the bed, took the ACs took everything. i don’t understand. maybe i’m venting? how if after everything, i found out he used to have sex with guys (i don’t think he’s gay i think he’s bi), i got kicked out because he made me seem like this monster to his father, he had a mental break down, wasn’t always the nicest, i still found us a place and put everything up to restart as a family, and he just leaves like it’s nothing? my daughter is distraught. i told her today because the first thing she said is “ where is *******” and she cried immediately and said she loves him and misses him and wants his family back. why lead me on for so long then just leave? i don’t understand. i’m so hurt. i’m now in a position where i feel like a bad mom. i feel like i was used. i love him, i love our family. he blocked me on everything and he’s at his mothers house now. she won’t answer me, he won’t answer me. i’m totally confused, hurt, and in the dark.
TLDR ; our whole relationship flipped upside down, stayed through the thick of it then after one fight in our new place, he disrespected my daughter packed everything up and left.