I have no fucking energy for context here, We lived in California, He was abusive as soon as I got Pregnant
I (27F) and my ex (32M) were Together for 2.5 Years, It was an Accidental Pregnancy, After I Told him I was pregnant, He coerced me to get an Abortion, Which i Didn’t, which resulted in my Daughter, After 6 Months into the Pregnancy, He felt a Bit Distant, One Day I went to My mothers House and when I came back he was Gone, Completely, Turns out He moved out, Sold his Car Later (His only property which he had) and Blocked me Everywhere, I can’t get a Hold of Him, And his Family lives in another Country, I messaged her sister but his Family doesn’t know where he is, so thats not an Help either,
After Giving Birth, He didn’t Sign Anything as he was not even Present, I tried to Get Child Support but, They can’t continue unless I can provide DNA Test or His Address, which He has also never told me and never told me his Job Location, He did tell me he Worked for a Company, But it turns out that Company, was not where he actually worked at,
I tried to Message Him Via Social Media But He Also Deleted all of his Social Media, Apparently His Friend told me He left to Thailand and is working remotely, Doesn’t Plan to come back for atleast a few Years,
The last Apartment he was living in before moving in Together, which I asked the Landlord and he Gave me the Details,Turns out he used a Stolen ID & SSN 🤦‍♀️, He also never claimed He was the father via text or call., I also tried to get his info from his Phone Number, Turns out that Phone Number was not Even in his Name
It’s been Almost 1.5 Years I dont know what to do, I don’t even Know He’s Alive or Dead
I only Have his Name, Picture and Age, I never thought I would be an Hopeless Single Mom. What should I do?
TL;DR: My ex-boyfriend, who was abusive during my pregnancy, disappeared after 6 months when I was pregnant with our daughter. He moved out, sold his car, blocked me, and left the country (reportedly Thailand). He never signed anything, gave false work info,I can’t get child support. It’s been 1.5 years.
Comments
Take care of your daughter.
Forget about the sperm donor. Forget about ever getting money. Just move on. Focus on your daughter and giving her a good life.
>Â I never thought I would be an Hopeless Single Mom.
Becoming a single parent is always a possibility for any parent, at any time. You never know what could happen. You did know that he didn’t want to be a father, and with his violent tendencies, he obviously he wasn’t a great candidate.
International child support orders are notoriously difficult to enforce, even if you had his location and information. I would start focusing on yourself and your child and what you can do to improve your own life in the here and now, instead of expending your time and energy trying to engage in an international manhunt.
Even if Thailand doesn’t fully enforce, the U.S. keeps the arrears on record (which don’t expire).
If he earns income through a U.S.-based company (even working remotely), those wages can still be garnished.
Child support debt never disappears, it accrues with interest.
Even if he avoids payments now, if he ever tries to re-enter the U.S., renew a passport, or use legitimate banking channels, the arrears will catch up with him.
The United States can revoke his passport once the debt exceeds $2,500. If he’s in Thailand long-term, this will eventually pin him down.
File for parentage + support order anyway in California regardless of whether or not he’s in California or in the States. This locks in the judgment. Without it, nothing can be enforced.
Once the order exists on record, California DCSS will:
Right now in the short term you probably won’t see any money. But play the long game and let him force himself into a corner. As soon as he needs to travel, bank, or return, the arrears + enforcement hit. He’ll owe you thousands (or even tens of thousands) with interest.
Don’t waste your energy chasing him overseas. Get the California order now. Let the arrears stack up. Time + law will catch him for you.
It’ll be okay, try to be strong, you’ll see how satisfying your triumph is.