I (32M) think my new girlfriend (34F) is getting a bit overwhelmed by my past.

TL;DR: my ex wife is making things complicated

I’ll try to be brief. I was in a relationship with my ex wife (30F) on and off for the past decade. This last time she broke things off very abruptly, it was very difficult for me. I thought that we had finally worked things out. But she did the same thing she has done before, and took my son (6) when I was away and moved back in to her mother’s. Refused to talk with me about anything besides childcare. We had been on a very good stretch for about a year and a half, and I honestly do not know what the catalyst for this stemmed from. This is usually where I would crumble and start fucking up again. But I was tired of that cycle. So, instead of relapsing back into my old vices, I kept myself in check and stayed sober. It was not easy for a few months, until I met the woman I am dating now.

She is incredible. We had been taking things slow, but there is an undeniable chemistry that is difficult not to get caught up in. I have been very transparent about my situation with her. She understands that I am still technically married. She has helped me get that paperwork together and rethink a lot of the problems in my life from a more practical angle. She has met my son, and has been great with him. She has been clear that she has no intention of being a mother figure to him until I am fully divorced and we all feel comfortable with the situation that is unfolding. I have told her extensively about my past addiction issues (3+ years sober), so I thought that we were doing everything right. And it seemed that there was some real progress in getting out of a very dark period of my life.

But a few days ago something happened. My ex messaged me. She told me that my son had told her about my new partner, which was surprising to me, since I had only ever introduced him to her as a “friend”. But at the same time, if she was bringing it up, it seemed like the bandaid needed to be ripped off. So I told her, yeah, this is kind of a thing now.

She immediately asked to know why “NAME” was around our son (We have a mutual friend with the same first name and she thought it was her at first) and then demanded to be introduced after I told her it was someone that she didn’t know. I got very flustered, didn’t really know what to do. So I just said that I would set something up where they could talk for a bit.

They ended up talking for about an hour while my son was with me at the playground. When my ex came to pick up my son, she gave me the most murderous eyes.

Once they left, of course I asked how it went. My new partner was very quiet, just said it was an exhausting conversation, and kind of left it at that. I dropped her off and went home feeling very strange about it all.

When she came over the next day she was extremely affectionate, and we had a great evening. I had really been worried about the day before, but I shrugged it off once we were together and things felt normal again. But in the morning she talked very little, I asked if she was okay and all she said was “mostly”. I kept prying for a bit and she told me that she was just thinking about some things. Later on she was very lovey and spammed me through texts while I was at work.

To wrap this up, I think I may have made a mistake in introducing them this soon. I hope that it hasn’t scared my new partner off. I really want to have a full conversation about it the next time I see her, because it’s killing me not knowing what they talked about and if things are going to be okay between us.