I’m in my late 40s; I’m a 20 yr military veteran, so if you’re familiar with the lifestyle of constantly moving, then you’ll probably understand that keeping friendships is pretty tough. I failed to maintain contact with folks back home (no living parents) and with the folks that I served with. I am also relatively new to the place I call home now, and I just haven’t felt like making any connections. My wife, is lonely and misses her friends… I get that, but I feel guilty that I am perfectly happy with peace and quiet. I go to work, go home, and I am content. Honestly if it wasn’t for my wife I would probably be one of those folks living off grid with their dog 🤷♂️
I feel like this is too much sharing. But is it wrong to be content with just being a dude with hobbies… and that’s, that?
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I’m not military, but live pretty similarly. Wife is very extroverted and wants me to socialize with her people and gets pissed when I offend them.
I’m right there with you. The only reason I’m not off grid is I do like streaming stuff and doom-scrolling Reddit in the evenings. But being outdoors all day with nature and no people is top tier relaxation. When I do connect with people, it usually doesn’t take long for even a hint of drama in their lives turns me off.
Same. Im content and also a minimalist. But wife is the only reason i try to be outgoing and act normal
if she doesn’t work it would be why she has energy to socialise and you dont i think most people your age too old for work and outside socialising its common thing as i said if wife doesn’t work this is the reason while your situation the way you are is common for anyone with job wife
I feel the older I get the more I’m content with just being alone and there’s nothing wrong with that.
If I weren’t married, I’d only have family.
If you’re happy, you’re happy
Edit: I’m usually the same way. Give me my hobby, some good food, coffee, and the people in my small circle and that’s really all I need
Thats cool
I have not had close friends since I was in my 20s. I’m in my 50s now and couldn’t care less. I have my wife and my two sons, and that’s all I need. Most people eventually anoy me.
Wish to god I was like you
I understand so much. I’m around your age, live with PTSD, which is treated, but it’s there. I moved to a rural area and have no interest in people anymore, new or old. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have an outgoing child, I could happily go even more rural and hardly ever deal with people. I’m so happy and at peace alone with my hobbies.
Many men (and women) can get all their social needs filled by something as simple as having their significant other around. I would say that even though it feels like you would prefer to live alone without her, consider that maybe you are relying solely on her for whatever sense of connection you do need. Ask yourself, is that really wise for you, or fair to her?
Im 46. Other than my kids I don’t socialize with anybody else. I love my solitude and peace.
Same… 41 female… have 1 friend. She lives 5hrs away.
Absolutely!! I moved a lot as a kid and adult. Unfortunately I got into drugs. I went to rehab and I feel that I just do better keeping to myself. I have a dog, hobbies, and a job. I stay on call 24/7. I like it way better like this. I definitely have more peace!!
I feel you 100% and I’m right there with you
I’m 40. I’m a truck driver (local/regional) and farm on the side. I’m not unable to deal with people, I just prefer not to, any more than necessary. I have no real hobbies, and while I do work 70-80 hour weeks most of the time, I enjoy what I do.
I’m often told I need to get out more….. yet I can’t see why I should.
I’m in a good mood even though me and my wife have been fighting nonstop. She can’t get me down still sober and happy.
You know the fbi is watching this post. It has all “the signs.”
Totally not wrong. Some people need lots of friends, others are happy with quiet and hobbies. As long as you support your wife finding her own connections, it’s fine to just be content the way you are.
Sometimes I’m in the mood to be social and hang out with friends, but a lot of times I’m more than content to go watch the game at my local pub on my own. Maybe make small talk with the bartender, maybe not say a word.
There’s nothing wrong with how you wanna live your life, no friends, only hobbies, a dog and your wife. Cool but in this situation the same apply for her. There’s nothing wrong on her wanting to have more friends and connections. It sounds to me like in the long run you might not be a good match. But hey that’s your everyday Reddit advice: divorce.
Military brat. Went to xyz number of schools. Never in one place more than 3 years, mostly overseas. Don’t mind being a senior citizen. Don’t mind not having any long term friendships. Don’t mind it took me a few to figure out that I’m allergic to marriage. Don’t mind that I don’t know my neighbors. I’ve got my kids/grandkids/cousins/aunties/uncles … I’m good. Love being a gamer, watching anime, big sports fan, and an extreme bookworm. Been described as an introverted extrovert as I have really really good people skills. I just don’t wanna people more than I have to. Cheers!
I have a social job, ex Mil. My friends became work colleagues, my past is history. I like the quiet of choice.
I can relate. I sometimes feel bad that I’m not more social for my wife’s sake, but honestly have no desire for it for myself. I just try to be the best husband I can for her in every other way & hope that’s good enough. So far it seems to be. Best of luck.
Same boat except I’m living the single life in the Philippines. When I did my twenty, it was as the “Single Soldier/Marine living in the barracks”……. So living in some cases, in an Open Squad Bay with a bunch of immature 20 something’s made me the introvert I am today 🤓
The only question I have is . So you feel there is no benefit that living amongst people and society you should not be contributing with reciprocations. Volunteering your time to children and elderly just as example. So this land and country are all just here for you.? I pretty much have no friends, my job that I get payed for has me interacting with 100 people a day. Maybe the humane society could use a helping hand.