Me 21F have been fighting with my 21m boyfriend over taking me out. We recently got a apartment in February and we’ve been enjoying it. I’ve been working from home, providing majority of the rent as he likes to use his money on stupid reasons. We have a son and I provide everything for our son. I don’t drive as I got pregnant Young and didn’t have time. Since we’ve moved in my boyfriend never ever takes me out to do anything. These past 2 months have been worse. He only takes me to drive through. If he takes me grocery shopping he’ll rush me the whole time. I’m stuck inside every week, he doesn’t give me rides to see my friends or so anything. When I moved over here he promised he would provide me rides. He doesn’t want me to Learn how to drive, he says he does then says I can’t go out anywhere if I do without telling him. He works overnight so I try not to stress him about taking me out but it’s gotten to a point where I’m depressed. I cook, I work, I clean everything he literally doesn’t help do anything not even with our son. Today set me off a absurd amount. It started yesterday, i begged and cried so much for him to take me to see my friend and he said no. We just found out I’m pregnant with a girl (which he hates were having a girl he keeps telling me to abort), which is why I think he said no to be going ou5 because he has resentment towards me. My blood pressure went up last Night and I had a horrible headache. I had pre-eclampsia in my last pregnany so it scared me. He asked for sex after he ruined my day and I was sick. He got mad and wrote me a paragraph on how much I don’t love him etc because I haven’t been interested in intercourse as if been depressed from being locked inside. He’ll threaten to cheat and he’ll watch porn infront of me to make me cry. Today I tried waking him up 10 hours of him sleeping because we had no water and food and he wouldn’t even budge. We ran out of water yesterday and food. Since he works overnight he eats and drinks at night. I’ve been stressed because I was hoping he would take us out today but he went to the gym instead. He takes his friends out multiple times a week so I don’t understand why he’s so harsh. I tried to get the carseat out before he left but he locked the doors and drove away. I told him I would call the cops because he’s neglecting me and his child from things we need to survive. I don’t know what to do anymore. What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?
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Kick him out
Hes costing you money and time
He needs to provide for his child. If he can’t do that, kick him out
He likes to spend his money on stupid things? Honey, that will never change. After 30 years with a man who has done that same thing all his life, get out now. I didn’t read nothing further, I don’t need to. I am 60 now and my husband has blown our retirement funds 10 times over. Just get out now. You’re 21, barely an adult.You deserve to make better choices. Also, he’s 21 and irresponsible. He will likely screw anything that isn’t nailed down and you won’t find out until you’re diagnosed w herpes or another STD. Kick him out, your peace is more important. Trust me.
I would order Instacart with his card 😁.
But in all seriousness, he sounds like he’s not seeing things from your perspective. The whole abortion comment about your little baby being a girl makes me uneasy. Also the fact he threatens things like cheating and internet cheating (porn) in front of you really makes me angry for you.
He doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t appreciate you. I think because he works and makes the money he somehow believes he’s the boss in the relationship. In my opinion I would start seeking a way away from this guy – or have a very long and constructive conversation on what is acceptable behavior in the relationship.
In the meantime if you are not wanting to address it (as we women know sometimes the timing just isn’t in our favor) I would start asking friends and family to help you. First to driving lessons. Then with other steps toward independence.
You “boyfriend” doesn’t even like you. Time to move on.
This has to be fake. Nobody can purposely be treated like this. I’d rather be beat by 10 men
If I was in your shoes they would be walking right out the fucking door
Hey OP
I see a few things in your post that looks like coercive control. Like “you can’t learn to drive because I need to know what you’re doing at all times” or “if you do learn to drive you need to tell me what you’re doing at all times”
My advice is you need to plan to leave this loser as soon as you can. I’m thinking you should get your licence before you leave, but honestly it sounds like you may be better off just leaving and then at least you won’t have anyone actively working against you.
You’re living together, so whose name is the lease and utilities in? You seem to be paying it all, so I’m hoping it’s all in your name and you can kick him out. If it’s in joint names you want to remove your name. If he’s not paid anything towards household expenses you should be able to sue him for his portion.
Is he on the child’s birth certificate? If no then you can do a clean break. If yes you can seek child support payments, enforcement.
You need to leave he is controlling and this is an abusive relationship. You need to leave for you and your son.
Start saving money he cannot get to or know about. This is now your escape fund.
Research what support is in your area shelters, support groups etc. Your employer may have some access to this as well.
Don’t trust him he has trapped you as much as if he abducted you off the street and is using you for financial security
Plan your escape, get together all important paperwork, plan your excuse for getting away from him for some time and where you’re going to. Work retreat, family emergency etc.
Listen im telling you this as someone who went through a similar situation years ago around the same age.. LEAVE now! He is controlling you! The longer you wait the harder hes going to make it to leave.