I feel like a lot of us grow up being told not to mess up whether it’s in school at work or even in our personal lives. Somewhere along the way I picked up this idea that making a mistake meant I failed and failure meant I wasn’t good enough. That mindset has stuck with me more than I’d like to admit. Lately though I’ve been trying to flip the script. I keep reminding myself that mistakes are actually proof you’re doing something and they’re usually where the biggest lessons come from. Knowing that and feeling that are two very different things. Sometimes even a small slip up can leave me overthinking for days.
So I’m curious how long did it take you guys to genuinely accept that it’s okay to make mistakes and was it something that came with age, experience or maybe one big turning point in your life?
If you’re comfortable sharing I’d love to hear your stories about mistakes that turned out to be valuable lessons or moments where you realized failure wasn’t the end of the world but just part of the process.
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Here’s an original copy of /u/Real_External_7927’s post (if available):
I feel like a lot of us grow up being told not to mess up whether it’s in school at work or even in our personal lives. Somewhere along the way I picked up this idea that making a mistake meant I failed and failure meant I wasn’t good enough. That mindset has stuck with me more than I’d like to admit. Lately though I’ve been trying to flip the script. I keep reminding myself that mistakes are actually proof you’re doing something and they’re usually where the biggest lessons come from. Knowing that and feeling that are two very different things. Sometimes even a small slip up can leave me overthinking for days.
So I’m curious how long did it take you guys to genuinely accept that it’s okay to make mistakes and was it something that came with age, experience or maybe one big turning point in your life?
If you’re comfortable sharing I’d love to hear your stories about mistakes that turned out to be valuable lessons or moments where you realized failure wasn’t the end of the world but just part of the process.
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Pushing 40 and honestly, I never did. It’s exactly what you’re talking about, where failure means you’re just not good enough, and I internalized it to the point that I stopped pretty much stopped doing things, which of course meant I never succeeded at anything and so when I had to do things I would fail, and it would spiral from there. Mostly just chiming in to emphasize for onlookers that this is a real thing (although mine is tied into severe untreated mental health issues) and if you’re young and you haven’t started trying to get comfortable with the idea that you can fail and, in fact, it’s often good to fail a little bit and be okay with it, you should consider it. It’s crippling to never learn that lesson.
I think I lucked out. I remember back in elementary school all my teachers saying things like “it’s okay to make mistakes, that’s why pencils have erasers.”
I was always allowed to make mistakes. Just not the same mistake twice.