I (22F), went with my family to a gathering with some of their close friends. They were another family who I will call “the host family,” and they had 2 kids, 12M who I will call “Tyler,” and 16M who I will call “James.” Another family who I will call “guest family” was also visiting with their kid, who is around the same age as Tyler, I will call him “David.”
All the parents were sitting at the table, talking to each other and drinking. Since they were apparently too busy with that, Tyler’s mother told me to watch him and David. This house was somewhat large, not a mansion, but like a suburban mcmansion, so they were going to be out of sight most of the time. I didn’t expect or agree to take care of someone’s kids, but my parents backed the host family’s mom up, and told me to do it anyway. My parents aren’t people who take no for an answer, so I didn’t really have a choice if I didn’t want to enter an endless argument with them.
I decided to ask if James can at least do something, and the host family’s response was, “oh he is busy doing something in his room.” I thought that maybe he could still at least help just in case he was gonna be free soon. I knocked on his room, entered, and he was just playing video games. I asked if he could help me watch Tyler because his parents asked me to watch him. He of course refused. I told this to the host family, and they didn’t seem to care, they still wanted me to do it, and weren’t even going to ask him to help.
And so there’s me, sitting in the living room, watching Tyler and David playing together, being loud and obnoxious to the point where the host parents came in several times to lecture me about how I am not keeping them calm. Eventually things escalated so much that the two kids were throwing things at each other in some sort of “dodgeball” match. At one point, Tyler threw a baseball as hard as he could at the other kid, which missed and dented the wall.
The parents heard this, and came into the living room screaming. They told me how it is all my fault that the wall is damaged, and that I should have looked after them better. Keep in mind, I did try to get the kids to stop by telling them, but I never intervened physically because I was afraid that the host family would get mad at me for that.
Now because of this incident, the host family is asking me to pay for the damages. Am I in the wrong for this? I feel like even if this wasn’t really my responsibility to look after their kids, I still understand that I could have done a bit more to stop what happened. AITA?
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I (22F), went with my family to a gathering with some of their close friends. They were another family who I will call “the host family,” and they had 2 kids, 12M who I will call “Tyler,” and 16M who I will call “James.” Another family who I will call “guest family” was also visiting with their kid, who is around the same age as Tyler, I will call him “David.”
All the parents were sitting at the table, talking to each other and drinking. Since they were apparently too busy with that, Tyler’s mother told me to watch him and David. This house was somewhat large, not a mansion, but like a suburban mcmansion, so they were going to be out of sight most of the time. I didn’t expect or agree to take care of someone’s kids, but my parents backed the host family’s mom up, and told me to do it anyway. My parents aren’t people who take no for an answer, so I didn’t really have a choice if I didn’t want to enter an endless argument with them.
I decided to ask if James can at least do something, and the host family’s response was, “oh he is busy doing something in his room.” I thought that maybe he could still at least help just in case he was gonna be free soon. I knocked on his room, entered, and he was just playing video games. I asked if he could help me watch Tyler because his parents asked me to watch him. He of course refused. I told this to the host family, and they didn’t seem to care, they still wanted me to do it, and weren’t even going to ask him to help.
And so there’s me, sitting in the living room, watching Tyler and David playing together, being loud and obnoxious to the point where the host parents came in several times to lecture me about how I am not keeping them calm. Eventually things escalated so much that the two kids were throwing things at each other in some sort of “dodgeball” match. At one point, Tyler threw a baseball as hard as he could at the other kid, which missed and dented the wall.
The parents heard this, and came into the living room screaming. They told me how it is all my fault that the wall is damaged, and that I should have looked after them better. Keep in mind, I did try to get the kids to stop by telling them, but I never intervened physically because I was afraid that the host family would get mad at me for that.
Now because of this incident, the host family is asking me to pay for the damages. Am I in the wrong for this? I feel like even if this wasn’t really my responsibility to look after their kids, I still understand that I could have done a bit more to stop what happened. AITA?
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You’re not at fault here those kids were their parents’ responsibility and it’s unreasonable for them to dump childcare on you and then blame you when their son damaged their own wall. At most you were doing them a favor and it’s unfair and honestly unfair for them to expect you to pay for something caused by their child’s reckless behavior.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took that should be judged is doing a poor job at babysitting kids who I didn’t want to babysit, which led to some damage in the house. The action might make me the asshole because I could have done at least something to prevent the damage from happening, but I didn’t really do much.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – in the most polite way possible extend the 3rd digit of your hand and say no. But in all seriousness it’s not your fault so don’t pay and don’t apologise. They aren’t your kids nor was there a real agreement this was just forced upon you so yh. You know your innocent and that’s what matters
NTA – Tyler is the host families Kid – they are the ones responsible. Also who thinks 12 year olds need to be watched.
Nta. and you didn’t do the damage. charge them $100/hour for unwilling babysitting and tell them to apply it to the damage. your vagina does not mean they can hijack your time and force you to watch brats. Do not give them a nickel. and decline to go anywhere near any of them again.
NTA and do not give them a cent! Their own kid damaged a wall in their own house while they were at home. They are responsible for their kid, and his friend who was visiting, not you. The older kids who declined to watch them had the right idea – just say no.
It’s time to stop taking along with your parents as part of their social life. You’re 22. You’re an adult. Do your own thing. You aren’t their free babysitting service any more.
Tell them to take the cost out of your babysitting fee. Also tell them they need to raise their children better so they know not to throw baseballs in the house. At 12yo, that’s a reflection of their parenting. NTA
Tell them to take it out of your babysitting fee.
I would invoice them as well anyway, just to push the point further.
NTA
He’s 12. Unless he has a severe learning disability, he knows not to throw a ball inside.
I don’t know how terrible this kid behaves generally (pretty terrible if his parents know he needs to be watched every moment even while they are in the same building), but they were present and they are responsible.
Don’t give them any money.
The person who should be paying is the 12 year old who threw the ball.
NTA and for your own sake, please get some calcium in that spine. You are an adult, you don’t need your parents permission to refuse something you don’t want to do. If the issue is your parents, stop hanging out with them.
NTA. First off, they are 12 yrs old and shouldn’t need babysitting. If they are that poorly behaved that they do, then the parents should have kept them in the same room as them. Second, it’s Tyler’s house. Why in the world would you pay for something he did in his OWN home just because you were watching him?! Also, did you even get paid for watching these kids?
Wow, those hosts, and your parents, are awful.
You’re 22, not 15. What do you mean your parents don’t take no for an answer?
You’re NTA, and not at fault, but it may be time to lay down some rules with your folks.
Teenagers are dumb but babysitting them is crazy. These are the type of parents to never hold their kid accountable so they blamed you. You need to standup for yourself on this one. Also have a talk with your parents about the situation. If they don’t support you then that’s messed up. You don’t owe them shit and haven’t done anything. It’s also best to never go to these gathering again.
So the other adults besides you were sitting, talking and drinking. Was it alcohol they were drinking? Cause if so, it makes this worse since they are depending on you to be responsible for children while they are imbibing.
Not your problem.
Not your circus.
Not your clowns.
NTA.
NTA! Why can’t you say NO to your mom? Do you live with her? Are you financially dependent on her? If so, you’re caught between a rock and a hard place. If not, grow a spine and learn to outlast her when telling her NO. If you can, it’s time to move out, or at least, stop going places with her.
NTA. What the fuck? how is this your fault and not the kid who did it, or the parents who raised them? you aren’t their guardian and frankly it was nuts of the to put you into the situation.
absolutely do not admit fault or pay for this.
This has to be fake!
NTA Why should you have to babysit a 12 year old in his own home? That’s an absurd request and you are absolutely not responsible for anything he did.