When I toured the place, my now roommate told me the tenants I was taking over for had bought a house and were moving out. She said that although the lease requires us to do yard maintenance, she has lived there for over a year and the property management company doesn’t actually require it. She also told me that the tenants I was taking over for would clean before they left. She had texted me and told me it was cleaned.
When I moved in, I gained access to the property records and found out that the tenants I took over for were evicted (their off leash dog attacked the neighbors dog). When I confronted her about this she admitted to the lie, they had not bought a house and they were evicted.
The basement was also not cleaned, and I had to scrub grime off the walls from the dog so that it did not have a lingering smell. This did take care of the smell and after ~10 hours of work things were in order (had to patch holes in dry wall, clean the bathroom and shelving as well).
Then two weeks in, we got delivered a 3 days to Comply to Vacate notice where we had to restore the yard to the original condition. This took the whole weekend and ~20 hours of labor from myself. She helped throughout the whole weekend. We avoided eviction and the property management company was happy.
My roommate and I each own a cat. Most recently, she left a lily plant in a Tupperware of water with fertilizer on the living room floor. Lilies, including the water they are in, are highly poisonous to cats. My cat drank from it and became ill. I had to take her to the vet, spend money on medication, and stay home from work to monitor her and clean shit off of her ~3x a day (she had really bad diarrhea). My cat is since doing well.
This has all just really worn me down. The cat poisoning was especially distressing. I ended up losing it and yelling at her for being so incredibly irresponsible, telling her I was done with all of this, that meeting her was one of the worst things that has happened to me. I did not cuss or threaten her whatsoever. I was not yelling at the top of my lungs but I was certainly emotional. I apologized after I had cooled down and tried to explain that I am just human and I was at a low point.
She now thinks that I am “unsafe” to be around and moved in with a friend for a while. To be honest, it has been great for me. However I still feel really bad about it. But I am tired of the lies, laziness, and irresponsibility.
AITA for yelling at her? Do you think she feels justifiably unsafe for “being yelled at in her own home” (her words)?
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When I toured the place, my now roommate told me the tenants I was taking over for had bought a house and were moving out. She said that although the lease requires us to do yard maintenance, she has lived there for over a year and the property management company doesn’t actually require it. She also told me that the tenants I was taking over for would clean before they left. She had texted me and told me it was cleaned.
When I moved in, I gained access to the property records and found out that the tenants I took over for were evicted (their off leash dog attacked the neighbors dog). When I confronted her about this she admitted to the lie, they had not bought a house and they were evicted.
The basement was also not cleaned, and I had to scrub grime off the walls from the dog so that it did not have a lingering smell. This did take care of the smell and after ~10 hours of work things were in order (had to patch holes in dry wall, clean the bathroom and shelving as well).
Then two weeks in, we got delivered a 3 days to Comply to Vacate notice where we had to restore the yard to the original condition. This took the whole weekend and ~20 hours of labor from myself. She helped throughout the whole weekend. We avoided eviction and the property management company was happy.
My roommate and I each own a cat. Most recently, she left a lily plant in a Tupperware of water with fertilizer on the living room floor. Lilies, including the water they are in, are highly poisonous to cats. My cat drank from it and became ill. I had to take her to the vet, spend money on medication, and stay home from work to monitor her and clean shit off of her ~3x a day (she had really bad diarrhea). My cat is since doing well.
This has all just really worn me down. The cat poisoning was especially distressing. I ended up losing it and yelling at her for being so incredibly irresponsible, telling her I was done with all of this, that meeting her was one of the worst things that has happened to me. I did not cuss or threaten her whatsoever. I was not yelling at the top of my lungs but I was certainly emotional. I apologized after I had cooled down and tried to explain that I am just human and I was at a low point.
She now thinks that I am “unsafe” to be around and moved in with a friend for a while. To be honest, it has been great for me. However I still feel really bad about it. But I am tired of the lies, laziness, and irresponsibility.
AITA for yelling at her? Do you think she feels justifiably unsafe for “being yelled at in her own home” (her words)?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I yelled at my roomate 2. It made her feel unsafe and yelling is general not acceptable. Was i being human or being an asshole?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
It sounds like this person is deflecting because they do feel guilty. If it feels good without her around, I would honestly just keep it that way. Good luck OP.
NTA
NTA
Pretty sure the person who poisons a cat is the unsafe one.
NTA. You’re the one not safe with her. Not to mention your poor cat. I’m glad she’s ok. In your place, I think I’d hope, encourage, or negotiate her moving or I’d move as soon as I could.
NTA
She has a cat herself, she should know better.
NTA. It’s fair of her to feel unsafe but she poisoned your pet through negligence so you aren’t an asshole for yelling at her.
NTA
As long as the yelling didn’t include threats or physical intimidation NTA