I have a harmless but quite stigmatized kink/fetish pretty much all my life. I didn’t use to think much of it, but now that I have gotten into a long term relationship I can’t help but want to at least try to bring my fantasies into life, the problem is my boyfriend is pretty vanilla and while not entirely closed off to the idea of us indulging in my kink, is rather unwilling. I fully understand and accept that if he doesn’t want to participate then that’s just how it is, but i feel like there’s something wrong with me for having those desires. Sometimes I can’t stop fantasizing about finally doing something with my partner and then I get upset looking at our real sex life. The only way I can indulge with my kink is watching porn which makes me “drown” in my very specific preferences and I end up closing myself off for my partner and isolating myself in general. How can I help myself? p.s. Sorry if anything I’ve written is erratic.
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Is there a mild / watered down version of your kink that would be possible?
Is this something that might work if you went on vacation or a different location? Without knowing more, not sure what to offer here.
Maybe discuss a happy medium with him. I understand not everyone’s interests in the bedroom line up, but there’s typically a way to make everyone happy. Try having an open discussion about it. Good luck!
What’s the kink?
You can’t ask for relevant advice without disclosing your kink.
It kind of depends what the kink is sorry, very possible for you to leave it behind though if you stop engaging in porn tbh
What is the kink?
You could be talking about literally anything from mild spanking to period play to scat.
You need to talk your feelings out with a therapist.A professional can help you identify why only one specific thing turns you on. They can give you techniques to help you redirect those feelings.
Other than that the only thing you can do is stop watching porn, or even giving yourself a full tolerance break when it comes to sex.