Ok so I (M16) got told today that my brother (M29) would be staying in MY ROOM overnight tomorrow with my nephew (M6), im already PISSED AT THIS because well its my fucking room, my mum is part of the older generation so according to her its perfectly normal to give up your bed for a guest.
One thing about my room is that the walls are SMOTHERED in posters, like no gaps between jenga of different posters, banners, and post cards. I have a wall of 2000 post card of studio ghibli, 7 full size posters, 5 half size, 40 a5 pictures of hozier, and LOTS MORE general memorabilia from bands and shows.
I have 3 posters stapled to my ceiling, one of which is ryuk from death note (look him up), hes creepy as he is a demon i will admit, and my brother asked “oh can you just take it down for the night” i say “no sorry its stapled and i don’t want to damage it and put it back up” and he is NOT PLEASED having a go at me and saying “you would have been scared at his age to”. I dont see how thats my problem. I dont want them in my room AT ALL im not ripping down a permanent poster for people i dont want in my room.
BUT IT GETS WORSE. I mentioned the 40 a5 pictures of hozier before. He wanted me to take them down. He said “its looks like a shrine. Cult like. Its gonna scare him take it down”
Atp im not listening to a word he says. But like am i in the wrong for this? I dont feel like i am but my mum is calling me unreasonable
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Ok so I (M16) got told today that my brother (M29) would be staying in MY ROOM overnight tomorrow with my nephew (M6), im already PISSED AT THIS because well its my fucking room, my mum is part of the older generation so according to her its perfectly normal to give up your bed for a guest.
One thing about my room is that the walls are SMOTHERED in posters, like no gaps between jenga of different posters, banners, and post cards. I have a wall of 2000 post card of studio ghibli, 7 full size posters, 5 half size, 40 a5 pictures of hozier, and LOTS MORE general memorabilia from bands and shows.
I have 3 posters stapled to my ceiling, one of which is ryuk from death note (look him up), hes creepy as he is a demon i will admit, and my brother asked “oh can you just take it down for the night” i say “no sorry its stapled and i don’t want to damage it and put it back up” and he is NOT PLEASED having a go at me and saying “you would have been scared at his age to”. I dont see how thats my problem. I dont want them in my room AT ALL im not ripping down a permanent poster for people i dont want in my room.
BUT IT GETS WORSE. I mentioned the 40 a5 pictures of hozier before. He wanted me to take them down. He said “its looks like a shrine. Cult like. Its gonna scare him take it down”
Atp im not listening to a word he says. But like am i in the wrong for this? I dont feel like i am but my mum is calling me unreasonable
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action that may be judged is not bending to my nephews needs and the action might make me an asshole because im not making a change that would benefit my nephew? Idk if that makes sense. English isnt my first language
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Be very wary. People from the kind of cultures you mentioned absolutely would believe your mum and brother have precedence over you just for being older. They WILL try to tear down your posters without your permission.
I recommend taking pics and explaining value of what is up so he doesn’t just take it down himself and damage them. You may even want to talk to your mom.
NTA. It’s your room. You’re allowed to decorate it in whatever way makes you happy. If you had like literal porn on your walls, maybe I could see where they’re coming from. But no, your brother doesn’t get to come into your room where he’s not really welcome and critique your taste in…everything. Luckily it’s just one night. I just hope that he doesn’t try to take down your posters himself. If it were me, I’d be petty as hell and sleep in there with them to make sure they don’t touch my posters or anything else. It’d be worth sleeping on the floor to make sure my posters stay put.
Tell bro to bring a tent and set it up in the room
> my mum is part of the older generation so according to her its perfectly normal to give up your bed for a guest
Who’s stopping her? If she wants to give up her bed for a guest she can.
You’re NTA for being upset about the blatant disrespect for your space, your possessions and for you as a person.
It’s perfectly normal to give up a room to a guest, especially as a child. People have been doing this for a very, very long time. I did this a lot when I was a child and honestly, it was never a problem. It’s temporary and if there isn’t anywhere else to put the guest, it’s also sensible.
So I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable on that part even though it’s not ideal to give up your room for a few days.
But it’s unreasonable to ask you to take the posters down and that shouldn’t be part of the conversation. You should not be required to adapt your room in any way – as long as it’s clean and tidy, it comes as is and should stay as is.
So it’s an ESH situation in my opinion. You could be more gracious, your brother shouldn’t ask for you to remove your posters, your mother could have found other arrangements.
Tack a sheet up over it
I was always asked to give up my room to guests as a kid. It was annoying, but it was the best way to accommodate visiting relatives since we didn’t have a guest room. It’s not an uncommon occurrence.
As for the posters, maybe there is some kind of compromise that will protect your posters while protecting your nephew from disturbing images. Can you find a way to cover the posters, like maybe hang up bedsheets or paper in front of them?
You should probably be prepared for him to take the posters down himself.. 😬
NTA. GUESTS aren’t allowed to dictate the conditions they stay under. Isn’t the phrase ‘beggars can’t be choosers’ common knowledge? Maybe dont impose on someone and your kid wouldn’t have to worry about ‘scary’ pictures
NTA they are being completely unreasonable. It’s not going to disturb your nephew to see pictures of a singer on a teenager’s wall!! Posters and photos of singers are completely normal.
For ryuk on the ceiling what about a compromise? Put post it notes over his face so that the kid can’t see it but you don’t have to damage your poster
NTA if you don’t want to then don’t. I wouldn’t want to give up my room in your situation but solely for the protection of my posters I would put up something to cover them like plain white poster paper, having little to no trust that sibling/nephew wouldn’t tear them down or damage them anyways.
NTA. I do like the suggestion of putting sticky notes over the scary parts. They won’t damage your posters. That should be enough of a compromise.