Pretty recently my stepmother found out that my father has cheated on her a ton throughout the relationship. He fathered two kids with other women since they were married and they have four kids together who are all really young. There were a bunch of tears in the first couple of weeks and since then the tears have been less but the fighting got more intense.
Then she invited her sisters over a few days ago. They were talking about it and she kept asking me (17f) to join them but I ignored her. Then she started crying about how humiliated and disrespected she felt and how she couldn’t believe he was capable of doing that to someone he loves. I laughed loud enough for my stepmother and her sisters to hear and they started demanding I come in and take a look at her and see how easy it would be to laugh then. One of her sisters actually approached me and told me I should be helping my stepmother right now, not laughing. I told her I wasn’t going to help someone I never liked or cared about. While one of her sisters was with me the others were reassuring her that it’d be okay and stuff like that. But she was getting more upset about the disrespect and how their love was meant to be perfect and the most special love of all time.
So then her sister dragged me into the room they were in because I was kinda laughing again. She asked me how I could laugh at my stepmother’s pain like that. I told them because I didn’t care if she was in pain and I thought she was a dumb b*tch anyway.
They were all over me for being cruel and for disrespecting the only mother I ever knew like that. I told them to shut the fuck up and that was exactly why I felt no sympathy for her. I told them I had a mom for 5 years and as soon as she died dad went out and replaced her and they tried everything to make me replace her too. I said he doesn’t care about women he’s married to and he disrespected my mom long before he disrespected my stepmother. She told me that wasn’t fair and it’s different. I asked her how she’d like to die and leave her very young kids without her and months later they’re being told a better mom is coming along. She told me my mom had been a really poor mom to and mom was in no way perfect and I asked her if she thought she was. And did she ever think he was just a user and he didn’t want to raise me so he badmouthed mom to her. Then I told her I might have been a little girl when she came into my life but I would always despise her for constantly talking like she was better than my real mom. And I said all her talk over the years about their love being special and the true love was all BS just like it was when my parents were married.
At that point they started to gang up on me again and my stepmother started crying again so I left but I was smirking and they were all really pissed off at me because they said I was basically laughing at her again and it’s so cruel.
The stuff I said to her I stand by. Even my dad’s extended family all said my mom was not who dad painted her to be. And for a dad so great with a dead wife who did nothing but neglect me, he didn’t know shit. He told my stepmother when they met that I was in the second grade. I was 5. He also told her I had no allergies when I do have allergies. He couldn’t name my teacher, my allergist or the medication I was on to help with some symptoms I got sometimes from my allergies. But maybe laughing at her did make me cruel. It’s why I’m asking AITA?
Comments
YATAH regardless of the situation laughing at someone else’s pain is a dick move and your entire response shows you either are 14 or have the emotional capacity of a 14 year old.
Grow up and be a better person
Just keep being you.
You would be taken more seriously if you could express your feelings properly. You don’t like her and don’t care your dad cheated on her, ok. But you don’t need to be vulgar to them. Your words would carry more weight without your insults
As soon as you turn 18, run and don’t ever look back. Your dad is a toxic dumpster fire
[deleted]
Nta. It seems a pattern stepparents believe they “stepped up” and get entitled to people and roles. Thats not the way it works.
I always believe it is for the person to talk about their experience with parents. If someone is ranting about their mom being a vulgar word, you dont join in. You let them vent.
For her to take the role of bashing one mom, she better be prepared for consequences because even if its just words, there are repercussions. I would work on phrasing. Otherwise, they will never take you seriously.
NTA, truth hurts sometimes.
So your mum died. Your father found a new wife. He lied to her about you and his late wife. He cheats on her and when she’s hurt and crying you start to laugh because… What..? You think it’s her fault she couldn’t see his lies?
Your dad is a POS and you truly is his daughter.
YATAH. Not only that but you need therapy, you have the making of a sociopath.
NTA…
Your dad and stepmom spent your whole childhood putting your mother down. That isn’t love. That isn’t even real caring. That is just manipulation and cruelty. Just because you express your opinion in the manner they taught you to, doesn’t make you the Ahole. It makes you a mirror to their actions.
They spent your whole childhood showing you that contempt for a person and badmouthing them was ok if it served their agenda. Now that you return that exact energy no one should have a right to judge you. Even worse when you were a forced participant.
I don’t understand why you took it out on ur stepmom when ur dad was the AH all his life to both ur mom and stepmom. like i thought you’d say she cheated with him on ur mom was alive but she didn’t! she didn’t know he was a POS! where is ur distaste for your dad who keeps treating women like shit?!
YTA for laughing at her, grow up and point fingers to the person who’s actually in the wrong here. if she talked shit about ur mom it’s because ur dad painted her that way, you said it urself.
‘for a dad so great with a dead wife who did nothing but neglect me, he didn’t know shit. He told my stepmother when they met that I was in the second grade. I was 5. He also told her I had no allergies when I do have allergies. He couldn’t name my teacher, my allergist or the medication I was on to help with some symptoms I got sometimes from my allergies’ literally wtf and u went after ur step-mom after all the shit u know he did!
You didn’t laugh because you are cruel, you laughed because after years of being forced to accept a replacement for your mom, the ‘perfect love story’ finally cracked. That wasn’t joy, it was pain coming out sideways. You’re not the asshole, you’re a kid who never got space to grieve.
One man. So many destroyed lives.
He is the only true AH in this story. It doesn’t sound like stepmom ever mistreated OP and simply believed what her husband told her. (As you should in a normal relationship!).
For OP to harbor the extreme hate towards the only mother figure she has ever known is extremely strange. Kids don’t harbor so much hate towards family adults unless there is extreme abuse (and even then it’s rare!) OR someone really helps put ideas in their heads.
Probably daddy himself has done the great job of turning every one of his victims against each other. And now neither OP nor stepmom has any support from each other, and are actively hostile.
Great job dad!
I don’t blame you at all for your actions and feelings. However, don’t let all of these bad experiences follow you into your future life and relationships.
NTA. So she basically came in and said forget your feelings about your mom and then tried to force her to replace your mom. You have the right to be upset and you handle things the best way you could.
Under the circumstances they are insane to expect you to have any sympathy towards your stepmom. They are out of touch and not even trying to understand the reality that you grew up in and are currently dealing with. Hang in there and don’t let them bring you down.
NTA. You can force a square ⬛️ into a circle 🔵. She bought his bullshit and continued to sing it for years. To me, it’s obvious that he was cheating on your mother with this woman.
She thought she was special and he would be committed to her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She kept her blinders closed, and she deserves to be laughed at because she thought she was better than you or your mom.
NTA – You have had a difficult life, OP, and it’s understandable that you are angry. It might help you to get therapy.
Yeah wtf. Your dad being a total douche and having similar minded children isnt your stepmom’s fault lol. your entire side of the family, including you, just seems utterly fucked up in so many ways its not even funny. Pretty sure you’re a sociopath and your entire bloodline is just complete trash, who tf laughs out loud at someone crying fucking weirdo.
You need professional help to deal with your adamant hatred of this woman.
YTA for acting like a shit human in that moment.
Angry with them or not, you don’t laugh at someone in that situation.
You’re being cruel JUST to be cruel. How disgusting.
Get help.
NTA. But I would recommend that you get some therapy to help with the pent up anger, take it from someone who also comes from a broken home, you don’t want to carry that with you for the rest of your life. I wish someone had told me that at your age. Get some therapy so you can actually enjoy your life after you leave your dad’s house.