I (19F) was with my friend on a party, the moment I walked in I laid my eyes on a guy sitting near the door with his friend. I wanted to ask him for a lighter so he sees me, but my friend got sick so we had to go earlier. About a week after, I got a following request from a guy that looked a little bit like him but I thought there was 0 chances it was him. It was him, and I still have no clue how did he find me. We started texting and after 4 days we went out, and had a really good time. After that I went on a vacation for 10 days, but we were still texting each other every single day. He gave me the nicest compliments I never heard before. When I got back we were supposed to hang out but couldn’t because of his work, and then he went on a vacation with friends. We haven’t texted each other since.
2 days before his vacation I celebrated my birthday and had a sleepover with 3 friends (2 guys and a girl). I asked that guy from a party to come over because we could be alone that time, but he couldn’t. When everyone that wasn’t sleeping over left we started watching TV, I was drunk and started cuddling with one of my guy friends. After that night every time we hung out, which is literally every day, we were kind of flirting.
After about a week, my friend and I started dating, but now, a week after, I realized that I have no idea why did I agree to us dating. First of all he is younger than me, he doesn’t even act like we’re together, we hang out with our friends and he always acts as I’m one of them, he talks to me like that, he doesn’t even kiss me in front of them. I think I don’t even like him at this point. The only thing I think about is what if that guy from the party texts me, what should I respond, what should I do. I feel terrible about it, I feel like I’m supposed to like someone who likes me, but I can’t and I like someone else.
What should I do? Should I break up with the younger guy? Should I make a first move and text the guy from that party? Am I a bad person for doing this? Help a girl out plss
Comments
NTA. Break up with your friend kindly and clearly. Leading him on will only hurt both of you more.
Grey area for sure.
NTA for wanting to be in an “active” relationship. Guy A should have made more of an attempt or let you know it wasn’t possible due to his schedule.
YATH for not breaking things off with him before you started dating Guy B or even flirting in that regard.
Conclusion: If you know it isn’t going to work, or if it isn’t working for you as the relationship sits, talk about it and fix it, or break it off. Dating another person before you’re “broken up” with Guy A is kind of scummy IMHO
you sure you want to be dating when you seemingly have no idea what your own motivations and drives are?
how much younger is the guy, a year? no difference.
and he treats you like a friend when you are with friends, good job, thats how its supposed to be. or do you need lots of public displays of affection?
sounds like you were salty about the guy you liked so you bounced/wanted revenge by going with your friend but since its not public you dont get the reaction from they guy you actually like.
making some assumptions here but i dont see a way where you arent the asshole to at least someone, at least yourself
NTA. YWBTA if you kept dating your friend who you don’t really like. Break up with him before messaging the other guy.
Play the field and be aggressive. Pursue the guy you want.
You’re 19
YTA
Just let your “current bf” know you have a lot of options, and are going to try one of the other ones. You don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Sure, it’s going to hurt him at first, but this is a lesson guys need to learn. He might as well learn it now.
You went out on a date with a dude, and then you got together with a friend that you’ve now realized you’d rather just keep as a friend. Explain that to him, that yall rushed into it and you didn’t get the chance to think it through. Doesn’t even need to be explained to the first guy because you weren’t even dating him. Go talk to the first guy after.
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Start over.
New guy is too buy and probably dating someone else anyway. Sometimes a party good time is just a good time at a party. The sooner you wrap your head around that possible reality the more space you will have for things of substance.
Dump the friend because you are better as friends obviously. Also, ultimately he isn’t giving you what you want emotionally so what are you holding on to? the thought of what could be?! There are sweaters that are warmer than that thought. Get one of those, it will hurt you much less.
It is summer time, protect your heart and your self and have a good time within reason.
Only do what serves you and lifts you higher. Everything that doesnt make you happy is a commercial enroute to your destination.
Well if you really were Interested in dating this guy, you wouldnt have cuddled and flirted with that other dude
When I start seeing someone and seriously start thinking about a relationship, I wouldnt do things with other people that I‘d only do with my Partner when i was in a Relationship
And if you really start flirting with other guys just because he wasnt available (with understandable reasons) for a specific amount of time, he probably dodged a bullet then.
Nta. What a mess!
Break up with both. Because both guys don’t know what they want. They aren’t serious at all.
If you stay with this guy, you both will resent each other….because it’s just dating because you’re bored.
I don’t know if you are an AH or just really young. You are all over the place and honestly shouldn’t be with either if you can’t make up your mind.
Yes. You are. But you’re still young and stupid, so have fun with it. Live your life.
Yes you are the anus.
Be honest with both guys, that way if either of them waste their time pursuing a girl who has no idea what she wants it’s their own fault.
YTA
You’re not really into your current boyfriend he doesn’t treat you like a partner, and honestly, your mind’s mostly on the other guy.
NTA but you sound very fickle
God you seem exhausting
NAH, but you should probably think about what it is you want out of a relationship, if you’re even ready for one. This friend surely doesn’t seem to be. You don’t owe the guy from the party anything though, y’all weren’t a couple as of yet. Just don’t let this friend take advantage of you or anything.
If we completely ignore the guy you met at the party, and just look at how you feel about this friend you’re dating it sounds like you simply aren’t interested in him. That stuff happens it’s what dating is meant for. If you stay dating him even though you think you don’t like him that way you will be miserable and it will ruin any friendships you could have with him, if you want a friendship after all this. As for the guy you met at a party. After you break it off with the friend, if he texts, you should see where it goes if you like him. If he texts before you break it off, it’s really best to be honest. I know that sounds terrible, but if you and the guy from the party do hit it off and he finds out later it could destroy your relationship. Just a side note it might be worth it to find out exactly how he did end up finding your contact information, just to be safe.
I don’t think you know what you want – that’s the entire reason for this post, because you want some insight that’s a good choice – but only you can make that choice, why would you want someone else’s advice?
The best advice I can give is stay away from both and work out who you miss the most. You need time to process your thoughts and feelings, because right now – you don’t even understand yourself.
when did dating early stages become monogamous? Why when more than 50% can’t stay married in a committed relationship. Maybe it’s better not. Nothing wrong with meeting different to people to see what you like/dislike.
100% YTA.
So many vile women like this.
NTA. You were just texting to someone, but there was nothing concrete yet, so no exclusivity, not wrong to date someone who a move first.
If you don’t enjoy how things are with the person you started dating, you are NTA for breaking up after a week.
Sounds like you want to break up with the guy and text the other guy, just do that.
Stop dating the dude but don’t start anything with the other guy.
You don’t even know what you want. Just chill and try to figure yourself out before you hurt people.
What kind of women has this generation created my god.
Of course YTA
Yeah, you are.