My husband isn’t really some type of person who is good at jokes or known as a funny guy. He never jokes anyways but, over the last month he kept on making jokes about my death, or him killing me, or stuff involving my death.
Some of these jokes genuinely made me feel a little scared for exampl, I came late from work and I was eating dinner alone, soup that he made and as I took a few sips he said something like, “If this soup was poisoned this would be your last meal. That would suck since you don’t even like soup”. Idk maybe sounds funny but idk.
When I forgot to take medications for my heart, which I have to take daily, he said wonder how long I’d last without them before my heart stops beating.
I hit my head on stairs and lost consciousness for a second and he told me how that hit was hard and came to conclusion how it would take a lot more force for a skull to break. Once he said how people around us are so busy that nobody would notice if one of us disappeared.
It’s like, not all jokes are directly targeted at me but at the same time they are.
There is way more things, even physical things like when he once pretended to chase me at 3 am when I went to toilet. Lol this might sound funny but it’s terrifying for me. As I said he’s not a funny guy, he never was until he started making these “jokes”.
Reading this back, it sounds unserious and maybe people will find it funny but it’s not a fun situation to be in. I don’t want to end up on news one day yk š.
Comments
You need to leave him. Thereās nothing funny about this at all.
Run. Run away NOW.
UHM??? This is not funny!! I would not feel safe in that house.Ā That is not how a loving partner speaks.Ā
Do you have family or friends you could stay with? You really should leave that situation. Like yesterday.
Notice you did not put one good thing in this post. This man does not love or cherish you. This man enjoys scaring you with āsubtleā death threats calculated to make you question your sanity (just like youāre doing) – thatās TERRIFYING.
Get out! Get safe! NTA.
He’s threatening to murder you, leave TODAY.
This is bizarre and I would get out. None of these sound like jokes or funny. I would also tell other people besides reddit about these conversations in case something happens. Make a point of starting to keep in contact with people regularly so they WILL notice if you stop responding or disappear. Since youre planning on leaving, I would talk to a lawyer. You can share this information with them and even give them a letter to be shared with the authorities if something does happen.
NTA. Please take this super serious
There is nothing funny about this. You need to document every time he does this, and you need to leave. He is serious
Reading it back sounds “unserious”? It sounds awful to me. I’d be scared to live with him.
This is some psychotic shit he is doing. Even joking this stuff is way over the line. No one would make these jokes to one they love, especially if they aren’t known for dark humor, which seems like he isn’t normally like this, so big red flag.
Girl no oneās going to find this funny. Whatās funny about your husband fantasizing about poisoning your food and wondering how much force it would take to crush your skull?
Did something happen to make him start acting like this in the last month?
I’ve seen enough horror movies, Investigation Discovery, and forensic psychology books to know this isn’t right.
Short term, please make sure he’s aware you are sharing these ‘jokes’ with friends and family over text/messages. If there is something more sinister going on he will be aware there is a trail leading back to him.
NTA
See, my partner and I are horror movie lovers and will regularly āstabā each other (make the stabbing motion with our hands while being hugged/cuddled/etc and in silly voices say āstabā). Thatās jokes. Thatās funny. Weāve communicated about this before, we find it endearing since itās somewhat of an inside joke between us.
On the other hand, your husband is just threatening to fucking murder you and you need to leave ASAP and not be asking Reddit for a second opinion because whatāre we supposed to do? Testify to the police after heās done it!?
This is not funny at all, please leave. My ex husband used to make similar ājokesā to see how much he could get away with or test boundaries before he started to get physical with what he was saying.
Do it back! Do it. I dare you! Make him feel your pain
honey please leave. please run. please.
Unless heās had a brain injury or some undiagnosed disorder this isnāt funny and even if he does have those itās still not funny. NTA this is scary af.
NTA, and also, RUN???
It doesn’t sound serious? It sounds serious to me! He sounds unhinged. Is he suffering from any mental conditions that you know of? Please be careful!
He will turn physical. You need to work your options for moving out. You two could attend couple’s therapy. Therapy will help make the divorce easier for you or get him to calm down with his unfunny jokes. Either way, you will feel more comfortable that he’s not going to push you down the stairs.
This sounds incredibly serious. I would definitely leave immediately. Do you have a safe place to go?
There are way too many ājokesā for you to still be alone with this man under any circumstances. Please leave. Please file a restraining order. If anyone tells you youāre overreacting just tell them itās easier to overreact when youāre still alive & to suck it. But seriously, just leave. Get your ducks in a row & leave even if you have to do it while heās at work. NTA.
You should believe people when they tell you who they are. Get away from this man, report his threats to the police, but donāt be alone with him
No girl. You need to have a few friends over and tell all of them this in front of him so he knows everyone knows and I would get some space, go stay with a friend for a while and figure out if you want to stay with this person. Have you ever looked at his search history or what he enjoys looking at? What if he is a serial killer fan or something weird like that. Idk this doesnāt sound unserious to me it sounds scary af
NTAH this is not joking and itās not ok. Is this an escalation of behaviour or is it completely out of character? If itās the former get out right now, if itās the latter and he is normally very nice and caring etc there could be a health issue going on but you still need to be safe and this is not currently a safe situation for you.
NTA. Jokes are funny, they usually have a punch line. What heās saying is not funny. Get out of that house NOW and give everything heās said to your divorce lawyer. In fact, tell EVERYBODY what he is saying just in case you do disappear.
Sorry this is happening to you. Good luck.
UpdateMe
Your husband is a grown man saying shyt like this??? Yeah, Iād leave. NTA
Ummm, You in danger girl!
This is scary. Please run for the hills.
He needs to be seeing a mental health counselor so they can diagnose him. I’m quite serious. This is all very strange. I would be afraid too and maybe you need to move out ASAP.
How old is he?
Omg what are you waiting for – LEAVE NOW!!
so you never listened to a true cri me pod cast or TV show huh ?
He might not kill you but why would you stay with a guy fantasizes about it?
Wouldn’t you like to be a guy who isn’t a weirdo?
NTA. RUN
It sounds extremely serious to me. I think that you need to get out fast. I don’t think that you are safe.
The man is a monster. Leave!
Have you asked him why he keeps bringing up your demise?
It sounds like he’s fantasizing and ruminating on harming you. I’ve known more than a few women who were killed by their husbands and boyfriends. Please be safe, and think about the discomfort of leaving him vs not getting to live your full life on this planet. We only get this one life. That’s it.
When men start saying that kind of thing… They are usually thinking it.
GTFO. He wants to hurt you.
NTA at all, but he needs psychiatric help. See a lawyer.
There are literally true crime stories where the man was joking about killing his wife and then killed his wife and in interviews people would bring up how heād always joke about it but no one took him seriously. Please take it seriously. This is not someone to be with.
It sounds fucking unhinged. Girl. You are totally under-reacting. Grab your personal papers, sentimental items, and pets and get the hell out of there. If you can go somewhere he wouldnāt anticipate that would be best. Do this the next time he leaves the house.
Then get yourself to a freaking lawyer.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
u/bot-sleuth-bot
It’s not funny at all.
Why are you putting up with it?
Leave. Maybe have him go to a therapist or get a cat scan I have heard brain tumors and such can drastically alter someone’s personality to think this was funny, maybe? But even in that case he needs help ASAP. While you’re still worh him though make sure to tell your loved ones what is going on and to check in on you daily.
Doesnāt sound like healthy conversation to me.
How is that even remotely funny? My husband would literally take a bullet for me. He would never joke about hurting me in any way (other than a joke about a really ripe fart making me tear up or something )
It does not sound āunseriousā. Just the opposite. To continue this kind of joke over and over again shows a great deal of contempt for you. NTA
!UpDateme
If it was only the one or two ājokesā but itās been constant. Like itās always on his mind. It would definitely make me feel uneasy to say the least. NTA.
Yeah, no there is nothing funny about this. This is disturbing. This is not normal. You are NTA for leaving.
No one thinks this is funny. Chasing someone at 3am?? Nope.
You are in danger. Get your paperwork and affairs in order and prepare to safely leave. Tell friends and family and coworkers and your boss what he is saying and doing. Do not take this lightly.
NTA. šāāļø His humor, is morbid, unfunny , offensive and raises serious š©š©š©
You need to leave. It starts as jokes.
Even if it’s hard, and you have to crash on sugars until you’re in a better place. What an awful way to feel in your own home, where you should feel safe abd relaxed.
Leave! Please respond that you are safe. We are worried for you.
Good grief, you dealing with is a person with a warped sense of humor. Thatās very unfunny. He needs psychiatric evaluation and therapy. Have a close trusting family members or friends completely informed of whatās been happening. Make sure you have an escape plan and safe room. Have your phone within reach or in you pocket at all times. Carry a knife on your person. Practice quick defense response. Prepare to use it if you have to. Look him square in the eye ask him whatās going on with him. Donāt look away, donāt say another word. What you are saying is something for the police to look into. They probably wonāt do anything about it.
Reddit is not the place to be asking for advice. Really.
Leave him…now
There is nothing about his continuous comments focused on you dying, that is funny. You need to leave asap. And you need to do it quickly and accurately. That means you have to get all your stuff together. Make sure you put all your important papers somewhere safe and away. Make sure you take any pet you have in the house cause God knows what heād do to your cat or dog, have someplace set up, talk to a lawyer, and then get the heck out. NTA
I donāt think it sounds unserious at all.
This sounds seriously unsafe for you.
Run and never look back! Stay and strong. I would pack everything that I can and go. This is not funny and I donāt care if itās a joke or not. It needs to end!
NTA. Thatās creepy.
Silly rage bait. It’s obviously serious, and it’s not funny. How hard did you hit your head?
OP, you need to get out NOW. This is literally a soft launch for killing you. A woman is more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than anyone else. Literally grab your keys if you have a vehicle and walk out. Leave everything. Do not pack a bag in front of him. Walk out. Or don’t come home tomorrow.
He’s acting unhinged. Please leave him, and find a plan fast. Your not safe
Girl. Start packing and leave. Today! And make sure you have someone there with you as you do it.
NTA, as someone with a dark sense of humour that is not what that is. He’s testing the water, and in his head, he has already decided you have to go. He’s just deciding how to do it. you need to leave asap and tell everyone who will listen about this just in case something does happen before you have a chance to get out.Try and get as far away as possible and cut contact completely because that’s not one bit normal and honestly it sounds like you have no trust in him now if you ever did so you really do need to leave please dont second guess yourself we have instincts for a reason and that fear your feeling is your body telling you to run.
This is terrifying. When Iām annoyed with my husband sometimes Iāll joke that he shouldāve linger too long at the top of the stairs today, but we both laugh and know itās a joke. This isnāt funny, this is a threat. Make a plan and get out.
Updateme
Please take this seriously. Leave.
Updateme
Please get out of there as soon as possible, stay with a friend or a family member. Nothing about that sounds like a joke at all.
Itās not a joke.
Get out of there.
It sounds very serious.
This really isn’t funny. Please get away from him and inform someone else about this behavior
Reading it he sounds like a psycho about to add 30 new holes to your body
My second husband used to joke about stuff like this.
Then, he tossed me from a window of our 3rd floor apartment, onto the roof of a Snap-On tools truck. The cops hauled him off. The judge gave him 15 years in prison, about 33 years ago.
He never came out. From what I was told, his mouth wrote a check his ass couldn’t cash, and he was beaten to death.
Seems fitting.
I just saw something that said if someone you are in a relationship with is hitting things (like walls) or breaking things or whatever, its basically showing you what they want to do to you. I would say its the same thing with words… i’m sorry this is happening, def NTA, I would leave but please be careful
Get out NOW or end up dead.
Do NOT tell him you’re leaving.
Just disappear.
NOW, ffs.
Your husband is making you feel scared in your own home and you donāt think thats serious? You should feel safe and secure and the one person that supposed to help you feel that way is actually making you feel the opposite. I donāt think you are taking this seriously enough.
Get out of that relationship and never look back.
It sounds bad tbh, even if it were just jokes he should have been upset and worried when you fell and were unconscious.
These are not jokes, you are in danger. Please talk to someone you trust and get help to get away from him.
Install nanny cams until you can safely leave!
That’s as far from Unserious as you could be. Listen up, woman, don’t be dead, please.
Leave the house right now! Donāt say anything, just get in your car and go! Go to a family members house or a friendās place. Donāt return to the house unless you have someone with you. Donāt be with him alone ever!! Donāt wait and donāt hesitate!
Probably a good š”
It doesnāt sound funny at all. Please leave him. I am scared for you
Ma’am this is the opening to a Forensic Files episode. Bail! Go! Jesus Christ.
It’s ONE thing to groan and go “Oh god I’m going to kill you” after the 90th pun of the day, this is serious.
Reading this, it sounds very serious. You need to get the hell out of there.
You should document all the threats.
NTA
Get out now!
Reading this, I’m scared for you. I’d be afraid to use, eat anything. And definitely not with him. You need to tell friends now he’s saying this. We need you alive!!
I had a friend about 20 years ago who grew up in a really badly dysfunctional family. She was living with her dad when she was a teenager. He kept saying he was going to kill her. Finally one day, when he said it that time, she knew she was in real danger. So she got out of there.
Trust your instinct, no matter what your partner says, even if it is savage jokes, your still supposed to feel safe it sounds like your guts telling you he could be serious and your never supposed to feel intimidated or under threat by somebody you call your husband and share a home and life with. The man truly for you will protect you from any man making me you feel like this
NTA. When he leaves for work, tell your job you are not coming in. Pack everything and get out NOW. Do not let him know where you are.
He is not joking. He is not teasing. He’s not funny. He may have had a mental break. He may have a brain tumor. It may be a reaction to prescription or street drugs. It’s not your problem. He needs to figure that out on his own. This is a time when your personal safety is more important than “in sickness or in health.”
Contact a women’s domestic violence shelter for recommendations for moving services who can move you on short notice whose employees are trained in DV. My city has several.
Yeah, these arenāt jokes. These are giant red flags. Please get out now. My ex was doing the same thing, because he was cheating on me. So he started joking that he would pay someone $5 to kill me. Joked about for years. In reality, he started an affair with an 18 year old when we were 35 then continued to verbally, emotionally and financially abuse until this year when I finally got free at the age of 51. Heās marrying the side chick in October. Please be safe OP.
thatās unsettling. iād tell him itās not funny. and why heās preoccupied with your death and ways of dying.
NTA the fact you are scared says everything. You believe he is capable of killing you. You need out like now.
When my husband makes soup he gives me puppy dog eyes and asks me if I like it and gets super excited when I do
When I get medication he makes sure to remind me to take it every day until it’s done
And when I injure myself he comes over and tries to help, even if I’m just going to the bathroom late at night he checks on me
What you’re experiencing is not normal and I’d be scared too
NTA
I always wonder how serial killers acted socially before they were caught
Probably like thisĀ
Who has the link of the guy who went on family feud and made a joke about regretting getting married or somethingā¦. Anyway he killed his wife. Yeah, leave dude.
ok i was about write that my husband has never and would never joke about my death – until i remembered he likes to be dramatic and tell people that i was dead for 5 hours when i had open heart bypass surgery š (i wasnāt actually dead, the bypass machine was just operating the ship lol).
NTA. THIS IS NOT THE SAME. HEāS JOKING ABOUT KILLING YOU.
Yeah I agree . I tend to make jokes that sound funny to only me to make myself laugh sometimes but even so. If they are a continuous thing and he hasnāt taken the hints you donāt like them and stopped then itās probably safe to bet that either he has issues and could likely act on them or b. Heās going to keep disrespecting you even when you are in fact scared. Either way is not a life you want to live because thatās just anxiety for when or if he does anything again even if it is just playing. Iām not saying there are not treatments but you need to at least get away long enough for him to get help and then go from there and decide if help is working or not.
Stop being chicken
He’s not joking. You need to plan your escape DISCRETELY
Why are you even posting here. If this is real you need to get far away from him and report to police.
IMO, if you are concerned enough to ask the question “should I go” or “is this serious?” the answer is almost always “yes.” Take care of yourself, though. Document what you can. Don’t let him know you’re thinking about going. Have a go bag in case you need to gtfo faster than you can finalize plans. Look at getting a restraining order. If you have friends, coworkers, or neighbors around, setup some check ins. Just a phone call each day so they know to be concerned if they don’t hear from you (especially with neighbors since he mentioned it being so quiet, make sure people will notice). Do what you need to do, even if that means throwing a bag of clothes and important docs in the car and leaving everything else while going to sleep on someone’s couch for a while.
Also (probably for after you leave so he doesn’t see it) strongly recommend the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s an older one, especially where therapy stuff is concerned, but it’s a classic for a reason. I suspect you might notice a bunch of other things unrelated to his “jokes” that you didn’t even think about.
My ex used to joke about killing me. And then he hit me, set some of my possessions on fire, pointed loaded guns at me, and threatened to leave me stranded in the middle of nowhere with no coat or passport in the dead of winter at 2am in a foreign country.
Leave. Donāt wait.
NTA. I understand dark humour but constant jokes of just your death and that too randomly, when it’s not a part of their regular personality, is way too suspicious. How long have you known this person?