I’ve not been with him for very long, only over a month. He’s kinda my first boyfriend (technically second but I was with the other one for less than a week lol).
He has started to open up a little (we have been dating for months) and I try my best to be there for him. I have also opened up a little about ‘minor’ traumas here and there in response to him opening up.
I don’t see myself ever tell him the full extent of what has happened to me. I told one of my friends a fraction of what I went through as a child and she kept on apologizing and hugging me for days but it actually made me feel worse because I was reminded of it anytime I saw her and she apologized (It’s not her fault but it was re-triggering and made me feel dirty).
My parents, siblings, and friends don’t know most of what I have been through. I do make throwaway accounts and trauma dump on Reddit when I am having flashbacks but I’ve never told anyone in person.
I know I’m supposed to be ‘open’ with partners but I feel like telling them everything would be too much for one person to bear (there are also cultural differences).
Even when I post what happened to me on Reddit, people always say it’s a fake story so another worry of mine is that they would not believe me. I can’t imagine letting someone in and then we don’t end up together… I don’t think I can handle that so I rather not let them know at all. Do I have to?
TL;DR, I’ve been through a lot as a kid and I do not know if I should tell my partner any of it at all.