I (19F) had a small family dinner last week for my birthday.
When it came time for gifts I got a few nice things some clothes(from my uncle) a bracelet from grandma then i looked at my parents they brought out this big wrapped box. I was excited because they never gave me nice gifts always said “we’re too broke or that we’re saving money and birthdays come every year” but when it was my brother’s birthday they went all out and bought him whatever he wanted. Deep down I always knew he was the favourite child but after a while I didn’t really care.
So I opened and it was a gaming console(I don’t play video games btw but guess who does my brother)
My parents looked at me and laughed said, “well we knew you wouldn’t use this but since the family was already gathered we figured we’d give it to him now too.” I said on my birthday really? On the other hand my brother was ecstatic with his new gift. And I was just sitting there empty handed on my birthday I felt like crashing out and telling them what bad parents they’re but I didn’t just quietly excused myself went to my room and didn’t come back down. My parents later accused me of being selfish and creating a scene saying “it’s just stuff” and that I should’ve been happy for my brother.
From my perspective: I don’t even care about the console I care that they couldn’t let me have one evening about me without making it about my brother.
So AITA for walking out?
Comments
Not the asshole at all, walking out was you setting a boundary, because clearly your parents weren’t going to.
NTA. It’s not about the console—it’s about your parents hijacking your birthday. Wanting one day just for you isn’t selfish
I would have said thank you, lied through my teeth about actually starting to get interested in playing – wouldnt that have been fun. You got a gift (that was sellable) and just imagine the surprised pikachu face on your parents and brother.
And stop getting them gifts… or at least buy something that is clearly for yourself.
WTF did I just read?? Your parents are the only AHs in this story. YOU didn’t cause a scene, you removed yourself which is the most mature thing you can do in this shitty situation. If you had exploded they would have played the victim. Please look at moving out. You need to protect yourself mentally and emotionally. As a parent I absolutely can not believe someone could do this. My husband and I have 2 (29 and 19) boys between us and we have been asked who is bio son as they can’t tell from how we treat/speak about them. You can tell if you see them lol. I’m do sorry this happened to you. Your parents suck
Nah, makes sense that you are upset. I mean, I don’t know the exact situation and whether your parents really do struggle with money. They might look at gift-giving totally different and think very little of it, if they struggle with money. They might think “hey we finally have money or somehow got our hands on this gaming console so let’s just make it a bigger party and gift it now”.
You should just ask them to sit down to talk it through. Tell them that it’s not about the gift itself. It sounds like you are just more hurt that you feel like they care way more about your brother than they do about you. And that one of the ways they are showing you this, is by spending a lot on your brother compared to you. Just tell them that when they brought out the very big gift you felt really excited because you felt loved (i mean, i’m guessing that’s why you were excited, seems like the big present was more about feeling appreciated and loved anyway). And that when it was suddenly not for you, but for your brother, you felt like they didn’t care for you at all. And that that is what hurt you, not the present itself.
They played with your emotions by giving the gift to you first. You can always just ask them why they did that, because I don’t see a single kind reason why they would?
so op, there’s an old episode of the simpsons where Homer gets Marge a bowling ball, despite her not bowling. Yeah, he got the ball for himself. So Marge took up bowling (which led to emotional affair).
anyways fight fire with fire. Use the console. dont let your brother play. use it to play candy crush, whatever, since it’s “yours”
and since your grandmother and uncle was there, did they say anything about this shit?
NTA. But I am sorry to say that your parents are.
NTA. It’s your birthday, not a show for your brother. Feeling hurt is valid. They could’ve at least let the day be about you instead of making you feel invisible. Walking out was a way to protect your feelings, not being selfish.
I would have broken it right there. Since technically it’s your gift, it now belongs to you to do as you please
I would have thanked her and then I would have thrown her on the ground to break her and I would have told them that they think too much
NTA. Your brother is a spoiled brat and your parents are AHs for enabling him.
You didn’t cause a scene. You removed yourself from a toxic situation.
What did grandma say?
It’s your gift. Accept it and sell it and buy yourself something
talk to grandma and uncle and ask why they like this. see if you can move in with them
NTA
But you should have kept the gift and said thanks – wanted to get into gaming.
Your parents are serious AH. You need to lower your expectations and care for them. If you can’t stay – can you move in with other family? Are you at college / uni?
You are ALLOWED to totally permanently BLOCK “brother”: and his supporters and his parents on EVERYTHING
Your REAL FAMILY and friends will be on YOUR side
Blood doesn’t make the family Love Does
Walk AWAY
NTA
Some people really shouldn’t be parents.
Thank them for it. And then sell it.
NTA lmao let ur parents rot at the elderly home someday haha. I bet your spoiled ahh brother won’t even take care of them someday. Just keep your head up and succeed.
I would sell it, since it was given to you and you have no obligation to keep it or let anyone use it. I think trying to not let him use it will cause more fuss and he’ll get his way, so selling it and buying yourself something you actually want is the way
You are NTA. I felt that gut punch. You handled yourself extraordinarily well. I’m proud of you. It’s not easy to live through but you can. Focus on your personal best for yourself and for your well being. You see and know how your parents are. They may change. They may not.That does not concern you. You want to quietly, don’t let your parents or any mouthy family members know, prepare so when you are of age, you can get out of that household ASAP and not look back. Your golden child brother may very well be a hot mess and a drain on your parents. You do not want to be around to help them , help them with him or save him.
NTA at all, but you 100% should have kept the gift and told them how thankful you were for it. Made them feel very uncomfortable in front of everyone
I would have kept it and put that bitch on eBay