Hi,
I have been dating my gf (24F) for almost 4 years now.
In this 4 years we went through a couple of turbelent time due to me moving away for jobs opportunity but last year I decided to move to her hometown to support her and be close to her.
The main problem I am having are two, 1 I dont feel she supports me in my career goal (I will explain) and 2. I really feel she isnt attracted to me.
- I am a sport coach , unfortunately this is only a Part-time (I have a normal office job) gig but my goal is always to make it my main source of income. When we started dating I was playing the sport and she use to come out to support me at every game, but since I am coaching, she never came down and this hurt me quiet a bit , especially seing the other GF/Wives coming down to support the other coaches. I hint to her that i would like her to come down but she says its boring and what’s the point of seeing me standing there telling people what to do. Maybe I am wrong but for me its shows that she doesnt care about my passion and she doesnt want me to be what i want to be.
- At the start of our relationship , we had pretty active sex life. I am aware thatthe honey moon period goes away, but we are having sex 1 to 2 times a month max and we are in our 20s still. The problem isnt only sex itself but the fact that she seems reluctant on having any physical contact (outside of cuddling) and even kissing doesnt really happen if i dont initiate. My issue is that I am really attracted to her, and her touch makes me desire her, but i feel that she isnt attracted to my body and that’s make me feel very insecure. We have discuss about how can we fix this but i dont think she is doing any effort to do so and after a bit we are back at this breaking point.
Altought these issue , I really love her and I want to be with her, but I am at a point that I really feel hurt and sad because i feel i give a lot but dont get much back , and feel like she see me as a teddy bear to cuddle in bed and thats it.
TL;DR How can i fix and work on my gf lack of support and intimacy, if this is hurting me?
Comments
Break up, a lack of support and attraction isn’t fixable. You said it yourself, “she see me as a teddy bear to cuddle in bad and thats it”. You deserve better and you’re still young.
I find 1 a bit of an odd thing. Don’t the cheering people have jobs/things to do? You’re doing yours there and it sounds like it would be awkward for your clients to have your partner around too, distracting you. So to me that makes sense to stay away there. You wanting some support makes sense, but there are other ways to do that.
As for 2, maybe your romance has fizzled out and being comfortable has taken over. What else is going on with her that she says is a hurdle? If you aren’t into eachother the same way anymore and you’re more roommates, just wish eachother well and move on.