I (m23) am having a hard time trusting my (m22) partner, even though they have not done anything to make me have mistrust in them, is there an explanation or reason for this? So this is my first relationship ever really, i had a gf when i was in high school but that’s about it. We have been together for almost a year now, would be a full year in a month. My partner is amazing and super understanding and supportive of me and my issues. They do anything and everything in their power to help me with reassurance and kindness, but still i struggle. I still have horrible thoughts and say mean things out of spite. I feel like the worst partner ever, every time i tell myself, this time it will be different, this time ill be ok, but then i get this pit in my stomach when they are going out somewhere alone, or doing something with friends and such. Like something is going to happen, even though they invite me to join and assure me i can listen in and all those thing. I have a lot of anxiety in general, so i don’t know if these things possibly tie in with that? I was seeing a counselor for a little while and he helped me with a few things, but due to financial situation i hat to stop. I dont know anymore i feel like i am going crazy, i have made a little progress and it is a little easier recently with some things, but there are still so many of the situations where my body and mind refuse to believe or trust what they tell me. No matter how many times they say it. I think it just feels like my progress is too slow. I have such an amazing partner, and I’m so grateful for them, I’m just scared ill push them away eventually with these fears, like they can say they will never leave, but who really knows…what if they wake up one day and enough is enough. I would like to just be a better partner and act better, trust more.
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**TL;DR;** : why am i (m23) having such a hard time trusting my partner (m22), even though they are understanding and helpful of my issues?