Wife still keeps a list of past lovers on her phone

r/

My (41M) wife (33F) of five years still has a list on her phone notes of all the people she has slept with. I met her in 2017 and we ultimately became bf and gf in 2019. There are about 20 people on the list after my name (from 2017). Obviously the list hasn’t been added to since we became serious and I have no concerns that she would ever cheat on me.

Should I be annoyed about it? I have asked her a few times, very casually, that I would rather she deletes it but she hasn’t. It does bother me a little bit I don’t know if it should…is it something to care about?

TL;DR: Can’t decide if it’s something to give a shit about that my wife of five years hasn’t deleted the list of people she has slept with.

Comments

  1. Own_Toe4767 Avatar

    That’s weird af and a red flag

  2. mindlessmunkey Avatar

    I have no idea why this would bother you. Would you be upset if she had kept a diary throughout those years, and those names were mentioned in it? Would you ask her to throw away the diary? What’s the difference?

  3. Sidepie Avatar

    “There are about 20 people on the list after my name ….”

    “I have no concerns that she would ever cheat on me”

    Bro ..

    edit: the naivety of those who downvote this is adorable

  4. ilovespaceack Avatar

    What exactly about it bothers you? Why would her deleting it change anything?

  5. nailzfan Avatar

    Wow, almost a full MLB roster. I would definitely be curious as to why she has the list.

  6. Swatizen Avatar

    Meet in 2017.

    20 bodies after you.

    So averaging 1 person a month until 2019.

    Became exclusive.

    Married one year later in 2020.

    It’s 5 years later and she still has a dick appointment list.

    You knew who you were wifing.

  7. Sheila_Monarch Avatar

    Stop obsessing about this. People are allowed to keep diaries, photos, memorabilia, and in this case, notes, from times in their lives prior to your relationship. They don’t need a reason to do so that you find sufficient and they don’t need to explain to you why.

    Let this go. And for that matter, stay out of her phone/notes.

  8. UnhappyTemperature18 Avatar

    Why is it people want to control their partner’s memories? Not even who they’re currently in contact with, but the MEMORY of people they USED to be in contact with. Are y’all that insecure?

    I keep love letters, pictures on my walls, gifts, emails, dried flowers…those experiences are part of me, and part of what made me who I am today, and anyone who isn’t okay with that can keep stepping.

  9. thaleia10 Avatar

    Grow up, she had a past before you and she’ll have a past after you mess up this relationship.

  10. Thespecialone111 Avatar

    I disagree with going through someones stuff, unless she told you herself? You clearly sound annoyed, what is it that annoys you is something only you can answer. If she deletes the note, will you be able to delete it from your head?

  11. pileofdeadninjas Avatar

    Okay? My partner had a similar list in a notebook when we got together, still has it, and we’re doing great 10 years later. Grow the fuck up