Boyfriend and I met earlier this year. We both live (permanently) in a college town where it is very hard to meet people because so much of the population is transient.
We hit it off pretty well and started dating. Boyfriend’s roommate at the time was causing big problems and boyfriend needed a place to live. Being a college town and due to the time of year, there was absolutely no way of boyfriend finding a place to live because all apartments are leased out 6 months or more in advance. We recognized that it was not an ideal situation but I have a large 2 bedroom apartment I live in alone and so we agreed that boyfriend could move in.
As soon as this was agreed, it felt like our relationship just stopped. BF stopped wanting to do anything sexual or even mildly physical like just making out. I had hoped that after he moved in things would get better but it has not.
I eventually approached this situation with him. I did not want him to feel pressured, especially since it was a stressful time, living in a new place with a new person. I have tried to give him space to grow comfortable. I did bring up my insecurities about my self-esteem and asked if he might consider saying something affirmative (like calling me handsome) every once in a while. He has not done this. He does occasionally give me hugs or cuddle me but it’s very rare.
He doesn’t have a vehicle so I have to drop him off and pick him up from work, but our car rides are silent and when we get home he starts playing games and I go into another room. When I suggest things we can do together, like watching a movie, he’ll watch part of it with me and then leave to go to another room.
It is massively hurting my sense of self worth, my self-esteem, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I broach the situation it would be coercive since he’s living here and I don’t want him to feel like I am holding that over him. I also feel like I this issue I have is based on my own insecurities and it’s not his fault. But I also want to feel like I am in a relationship with someone who wants to be with me.
tl;dr I am bad at tldrs but I am required to add one to the post…please just read the post.
Comments
Dump him and get him out of your house.
Sorry, but that’s your son and roommate now. You have to stop being a doormat for him. Let him take the bus to work. And get a hobby! He might miss you when you aren’t 24/7 available.
Also, how early into HRT is he? Sometimes attraction changes as you develop
Now that you’ve typed it all out, do you realize how bad that situation is? You are being used im sorry. Can you kick him out