So, my (27M) sister (30F) recently had a baby, and she and her husband chose a very elaborate name for him—think something like Maximilian Octavius Peregrine (not the actual name, but close in vibe). It’s a mouthful, and while it’s cool and unique, everyone in the family has naturally started calling him “Max” for short.
Well, my sister is furious about this. She insists that he should always be addressed by his full name because they “carefully curated” it, and shortening it is “disrespecting their vision.” I thought she was joking at first, but she has actually started correcting people mid-conversation:
Me: “Aw, look at little Max!”
Her: “It’s Maximilian Octavius Peregrine, please.”
At first, I tried to humour her, but it’s getting exhausting. I told her that while I respect her choice, nicknames are a natural thing, and I don’t think it’s fair to police how everyone speaks—especially when everyone is defaulting to Max anyway. She told me I was being dismissive and “erasing” her son’s identity.
Now she’s making a big deal about how I refuse to “honour” her son’s name, and apparently, she’s even considering limiting contact between me and my nephew if I “can’t respect” her wishes. My parents think she’s overreacting, but some of her friends have sided with her, saying that parents deserve to have their child’s name used as intended.
So… AITA for refusing to use my nephew’s full name all the time?
Comments
So naturally, what you need to do is tell your sister that you have changed your name to something equally or even longer and ridiculous, and correct her every time she does not refer to by said name.
That poor child.
Yeah NTA. It’s absurd your sister wants you to call him that.. honestly poor children if she denies nicknames.
why are all the crazy people naming their child maximilian😭
NTA. She needs to realize that as he grows up and starts going to school, he’s going to want a shorter name.
NTA it’s going to be shortened when he starts school, and he will probably prefer the nickname. That’s what I’ve seen happen in similar situations. Sure, they are the parents and all that, but it won’t be long before it won’t be their decision, it will be MAX’s. 🙂
OMG! “Carefully curated” their child’s name and you’re “disrespecting their vision.” What a pretentious AH. He’s a human being, not an art exhibit.
She’s in for a world of frustration when peers and teachers start using a nickname for him. Your sister is not doing her kid any favors, and I feel bad for your nephew for the many years ahead of this kind of ridiculous nonsense.
NTA.
NTA. Kindergarten is gonna be lit!
NTA, while it’s HER SON. People shouldn’t have to pronounce the WHOLE exhausting name, far too long to have to say the whole name all the time.Stick with Max and if she can’t handle it you have to be firm and let her know it cannot work that way.
Call him M.O.P.
Problem solved
NTA. Your sister is as delusional as the woman who wanted her son’s teacher to punish children who called the kid Andy instead of Andrew. When little Andy introduced himself as Andy.
Since full names are only used when you’re in trouble, the kid is going to develop a persecution complex. And what is Mom going to call him to drive home the point she’s mad at him?
Nta. But you should start adding more to his name each time to show her how ridiculous it sounds. Maximilian Octavius Peregrine First of his name, taker of naps and filler of diapers, Lord of shrieking cries, and Waker of Parents
You are NTA, and I am naming my next cat Maximilian Octavius Peregrine.
And I will call him by his full name.
“Maximilian Octavius Peregrine! Get off the counter!” 🤣😾
Your sister is a couple of clowns 🤡 short of a circus.
The normal version of this argument is “Hey, my kid’s name is Alex, please don’t call them Alexander / Axel / Alan / Alvi”, not “Hey my kid’s name if Sunshine Destroyer Glory-Holly-Molly the 3rd please don’t call them Buddy”.
I’m a teacher and that kid is going to get a lot of shit if his mom don’t put her ego aside. I can’t even read that name, I would call him at best Maximilian but nothing else.
NTAH. I would at least call him his full first name. It’s like naming your child Matthew & others calling him Matt even though you want him called Matthew.
I get it’s a mouthful to call him “Maximilian” but that’s his name. I don’t agree with calling him his whole name. That’s absurd.
You can always resort to a special name that has nothing to do with his legal name. Like bubba or something
Little MOP isn’t going to be “cultivated” by mom.
She may think she has a say, but he doesn’t have to live up to the “vision” mom has for him. As a matter of fact, she is more likely to face a wild rebellion if she tries to force that vision on him.
IMO – It is “disrespectful” to use a name other than what the parents choose.
BUT using all 3 names makes it sound like the kid is a movie character or always in trouble.
WHAT is she going to call him when he is in trouble?
I’d go around her and call him silly nonsense names.
There would be a lot of:
“Hey Nephew-phew-phew”.
“N-N-N-N-N-Nephew!”
“Buddy mcBuddy Face”
“Hey Three!”
“How’s the little man doing?”
“Boopity boopity boo”
“Sweetie”
“Cutie”
“Bunny Boo”
My mother called my first born “precious” for years.
Just terms of endearment…
NTA
This kid will become Max in school, if only because no 5 year old is going to be able to spell out 3 long names and not get really frustrated and angry about it. HE will opt to just write Max at some point.
Wait until the kid gets to school. I can see mom now asking the teacher to police what the kids call her son on the play ground. Oy.
OP, you have to be careful, because your sister is making it clear that this may well a hill she will gladly die on. Step carefully.
Personally, I think your sister is off her rocker with “curating” and having a “vision”.
NTA
This is AI generated crap
How precious. Lol. She’ll get tired of doing it one day.
Call him nephew. It can potentially avoid drama depending on exactly how unhinged she is
Nta.
Im sure you already know this, but your sister has unfortunately lost her mind. I get she’s postpartum and has this cool new baby, but who has a carefully curated vision of their kid’s name? Someone who’s determined to be so extra as to drive friends and family insane and has a really distorted view of the world. It’s just silly and I guess I’d probably humor her out of fascination at someone so odd, but it’s not going to last. People call babies all kinds of goofy nicknames so she better get used to it in a hurry or she’s going to waste a whole lot of time repeating her son’s full name and dealing with the looks from folks who wonder if she’s suffered a head injury. I’m sorry but this is funny to me, I’m sure it matters to her but it’s hard to take something so goofy and pretentious seriously. Good luck and NTA.
No e of this kids friends will do that. They will abbreviate his name too.
Wait….she wants you to use all 3?
Just get it wrong all the time. “Hi Maximus” When she says that isn’t his name, you can say be all surprised and say “Sorry. What is it again?” … “Hi Octavia” “Hi Octopus” “Hi Max-o-millions”. Eventually she’ll be pleased to shorten it to Max & you can have fun until then.
She will change her tune when the child is acting up and she has to get that full name out before she can tell him to stop yelling or pulling the cats tail or pouring milk out of a jug into their sippy cup. She be down to MAX!!! pretty soon.
Your sister sounds like a doofus and God bless her child for having to deal with parents like that.
I don’t have time or bandwidth in my life for nonsense like that. Stop responding to her completely. She’s going to be a nightmare of a mother, and you don’t need to watch the car crash.
It’s fine if she wants you to use Maximilian. I think you should respect that. But all three is just ridiculous. No.
This will all go away as soon as they need a babysitter.
NTA
NTA, but we make a point of calling people by their preferred name, so I think you should call the baby by that long name. However, sister should be prepared for her son to a) change his name when he’s old enough, and b) go no contact with his bonkers, pretentious parents. Hope she’s saving money for therapy.
MOP?
She does know the second he meets another kid he’ll get a nickname that lasts forever – he’s a human not a collection of artisanal cheese
Sister is bugging. I have a somewhat different name. My GrandFather could not pronounce my name. He gave me a Nickname that highlights part of my name. He died when I was young. My Dad only called me by My Nickname. His Family still only uses that Nickname.
I love My Nickname because it’s from my Grandpa and it’s a connection to him. Your Sister is denying him a Special family connection.
I have other Nicknames given by other family but that one is Special.
My son has a name that sounds like a roman general/emperor (by accident tbh). We only call him by his first name. Unless he’s in trouble. Then the emperor gets called out.
Nta shes being ridiculous and if she insists on him being called his whole name. Now his full first name i can agree with. But the entire name no.
ESH
Her insisting on all three names being used at once is ridiculous
However using the full form of ONE of the names is not unreasonable – so Maximillian rather than Max is fine. If when HE gets older he wants to be Max he can but until then use the form of the name (not names) that his parents wish
I would opt for either not using any name or defaulting to “Hey little citizen/human/guy”; take your pick.
“Maximilian Octavius Peregrine – M O P, would you like to play legos with Uncle Buddy Dings Four and Forty?”
Your sister is in for some crazy bullying and so much pain when she loses all of Mop’s friends bc the other moms understand that your sister is a pretentious bitch who’s silently (maybe not silently?) judging them for allowing their kids to go by nn’s.
I’m a petty bitch so I would take EVERY opportunity to use Mop’s full name so that it grates even on her nerves. And don’t worry, Moo and his friends will pick his nn and he’ll learn to roll his eyes HARD at his mother and he’ll learn to correct her on his chosen nn.
NTA!
Another option is to just not use the baby’s name and refer to it as “The Baby”.
This phenomenon of parents naming a child like they’re an extension of their own bizarre vision and ego and not a separate, independent human in the world is desperately distressing. It’s not about YOU, parents!
James James Morrison Mirrison Wetherby George Dupree
Took great care of his mother though he was only three …
I would never again refer to the child by name in front of her. “Your son”, “Buddy”, “Sport” etc
Maximus Decimus Meridius, perhaps?
NTA of course.
NTA
Maybe try not saying his name at all. Like really, sometimes it’s not really required unless you’re singling someone out, and most of that time you can get by woth just pointing at them saying hey! (point) And then just start talking.
I am terrible terrible with names. I have worked with people for years I never really got their name down. Believe me anyone can do this
Start calling her by her full name. Or point out that he will be a serial killer if he has so many names.
These parents are why I will never teach in a classroom again. NTA
Nta. Maximilian Octavius Pegregrine is a good name for a cat though. I would insist on the cat being called by his full name when going to the vet.
Lord Admiral Maximilian Octavius Pegregrine Icy-Ability, Duke of Oaklandish.
This reminds me of that post that went around fb about Squire Sebastian Senator (that’s close but probably not quite right).
The mom insisted that people would use all three names when you’re lucky to get two syllables, most people will try really hard to get down to one.
I may be an outlier in these comments. I do not think you are an AH for this (and I agree with you, nicknames are natural) however I’m not sure it’s your job to offer a correction for this. I think if it’s what your sister wants, you have to respect it (even if we all know it’s kinda silly). I betcha giving it time, she’ll get warn out using all 800 syllables every single time too.
Your sister is being super weird.
Good lord. I think some parents name the kids for themselves, not even considering the kids. My husband and I really wanted a kid we called “Charlie/Charli”. We love Supernatural and have an angel baby named Lilith so we wanted to honor her by sticking to the theme. Anyways we wanted to give them a “full name” and nickname would be charlie/charli. So we settled on Charlotte for a girl and Charleston for a boy. Then we realized we couldn’t do that to our son and went with Axel, only to end up with a Delilah in the end 🤣🤣
NTA. Your sister is too much. My kids don’t even get called by their full name unless they’re in trouble. So the most we did was make sure they have decent names they won’t hate us for, that also sound really good when we’re yelling at them.
Some mothers are like that. They really like the name they pick for their kid, and my mom is one of them.
I don’t go by my full first name. I don’t like it, I never have. It was a popular name in the 80s, and there was always at least one other kid with my name. Now I go by a nickname, a shortened version of my name, and it drives my mom insane and she hates it.
Eventually, this kid will decide what he wants to be called, and his mom will either be super happy or super sad.
Not even her son is going to want everyone talking to him as if he is some Roman centurion, he’s just going to want to be plain old Max.
Wait until he starts school. Even the teachers will balk at that mouthful.
Omg does she have a full name? Start addressing her by her whole name including last name
Call him by his initials- MOP!
I bet mom and dad love the smell of their own farts or, as they probably call it, gaseous gastrointestinal fragrances.
You should go ahead and limit your time with her, unfortunately that will probably include your nephew. Btw, tell your sister to pull the stick out of her butt for hells sake.
Sis needs to lighten the fuck up. Poor kid. He’s gonna be standing off to the side embarrassed as fuck, while his mom flips out on people over how to say his name. Along with other dumb shit.
NTA. She has been watching to many period pieces. She actually expects people in a society where they shorten couple’s names into an amalgam of both to say 3 names every time they address her precious little boy? She is out of her damn mind
Just call him sweetie or hunnybun.
I have a newborn nephew I can only bring myself to refer to as “cheeks,” for very obvious reasons if you saw this tiny cutie. So yeah, my sister “curated a beautiful name based on her vision” but she birthed a kid with the most glorious cheeks and that’s her fault, not mine. 😂
I’m assuming this is their first child.
NTA. I’m petty. I’d be calling him Mop.
I can guarantee HE will shorten his name at school because if he has to write that mouth full down ten times a day he will be writing Max last name.
Your sister is going to find parenting hard work especially when she has to interact with other parents.
I could see people calling him Maximilian but not all three ALL the time.
I can see family just not using his name , just talking to him.
NTA
I had pet mice growing up. In HS I named one of my handsome devils (black with red eyes), Satan Damien Lucifer SaDiablo- in honor of a book series I was obsessed with. NEVER expected anyone to actually use his full name tho! Utterly ludicrous lol
NTA, your sister is ridiculous and delusional if she thinks the world is going to abide by her decision. Hopefully the baby doesn’t inherited her lack of common sense.
NTA – why do I feel like your sister lives for drama?
I feel for anyone that has to interact with her, let alone be raised by her. Ugh!
Your sister sounds as if she really isn’t a full shilling! She sounds like she’s lost the plot, that poor little baby
NTAH, no.
PMSL.
She might as well have just called him ‘bully me’.
Ask her what she thinks is going to happen when he goes to school. Does she think that his teachers will have time for his twelve syllables during morning registration when they have 30 other kids in the class?
How about when it’s break time and he’s playing outside and another kid is about to collide with him? By the time they have finished shouting out his name to warn him of the impending doom he will be lying flat on the ground covered in footprints.
What if he decides to go into professional sports? Nobody wants to wait a minute and a half for the substitute to be announced.
I could go on and on.
At the end of the day that poor little guy will hit 5 years old and will tell all his friends to call him Dave. If his auntie trains him properly, obviously.
Normally yes, but this seems like a special circumstance. The kid’s gonna have a fun childhood with a mom like that. He’ll need all the help he can get from family like you. NTA.
I think it’s somewhat reasonable for her to ask you to use the full first name (Maximilian) but the whole shebang?? NTA
NTA, that kids not going to be able say his own name until he’s 8 let alone spell it fully. Every teacher and other kid will call him “Max” and he’ll prefer it
Just address him as “baby” always. Hi baby! How’s baby today? Etc etc
Or avoid calling him anything.
MOP is a great name for a kid.
/s
NTA and my full name has 6 names and surnames and whatelse… i would love to see my mom pull that one…
NTA at all. That kid is going to be bullied at school, unless they plan to send him to the same school as the British elite. Is her husband related to British PM Jacob Rees-Mogg, by any chance? He is a British MP who is beyond the reasonable levels of posh. Jacob Rees-Mogg’s children are: Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher Rees-Mogg, Anselm Charles Fitzwilliam Rees-Mogg, Alfred Wulfric Leyson Pius Rees-Mogg, Peter Theodore Alphege Rees-Mogg, Thomas Wentworth Somerset Dunstan Rees-Mogg, and Mary Anne Charlotte Emma Rees-Mogg.
Your nephew seems to be heading in the same direction as these poor rich kids. Not even Meghan Markle, who is actually married to a British prince, would name her kids such lunacy.
Buy her a copy of Tikki Tikki Tembo. Definitely the first thing that comes to mind when hear this. NTA.
He’d be Jeff from then on. If you’ve seen the meme, you’d know what I’m talking about.
If they always use his full name, how will the kid know when his parents are mad at him?
NTA
Just be glad she didn’t name the kid Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
Just start calling your nephew “That kid of yours”.
How many syllables is the actual name she wants you to say?
This Internet video seems relevant.
NTA. But your sister sure is. She is already using her son as a weapon against people, in order to get them to behave the way she wants. “If you don’t call him XYZ then you just won’t see him.” I’d call her on that crap and reply “That’s too bad, we’ll miss seeing him grow up.” Then walk away.
Parents are very invested in what they name their kids. I could see just calling him Maximilian, but the whole thing is insane. Poor kid is going to get bullied in school and also struggle with writing his name.
What is she gonna do when he tells his mom he wants to go by Max? Or even better, what if he decides to change his name completely? I’m a teacher, and the names my students call themselves are insane! Literally have a student that just goes by a number for their name…
Also, I’d say ESH because having to say 3 names every time is ridiculous, but also for you shortening it so much.
NTA
Call him “Boy” Like Kratos calls his son in God of War
https://youtu.be/vPwpwAqOLCE?si=eg4Chk9U8kQSCkYQ
You dont get to make up a new name if she doesn’t like it.
But you do get to stop using names altogether. From now on, the child is “Child”.
Imagine trying to get a kindergartener to spell that. LoL. I get not wanting people to shorten Richard to Dick but to say the entire name? At this rate, either people will refuse to say it or just bully him.
NTA.
Just call him, “the boy.” As in, “look at how cute the boy is, chasing the cat.”
I’ll be honest, I’m one of those people that calls my children by their full first names. Yes, others have nicknames for them & I’m more than ok with others using them, but I prefer not to.
That said. My children have also made it known that there are very few people that are allowed to call them by their given names & that list is pretty much limited to me & the government. Everyone else uses their preferred nicknames.
Your sister’s child will make it known when he gets older what he prefers to be known by. For now, keep it to his first name. I understand that the nickname is easier, but it’s not really your choice.
ESH. You should respect the parents name for the kid until such time as the kid can decide for himself what he wants to be called but quite frankly they suck more for even calling their kid anything that comes close to that kind of name.
Having said that, could there be a compromise where you call him Maximilian rather than Max but also leave out the extra names?
Reminds me of a story from a year or two ago. Mom found out her kid was going by Andy instead of Andrew at school and lost her shit. Tried to file a complaint against the teacher. Kid was telling everyone to call him Andy, mom didn’t care, wanted him called Andrew. Wonder how that’s going.
It’s a shame FOR THE BABY, HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE AN ODDITY TO ALL THE OTHER LITTLE KIDS, POOR LITTLE BABY
I’d call him MOP. Your sister is ridiculous.
NTA. Your sister is giving me mom of ‘Sebastian Squire Senator’ vibes.
NTA
Just a thought: is she planning on sitting in his school classes and going into the playground to make sure his friends (if he ever has any) and teachers are calling him by his ‘full, carefully curated name’?
Her own son will going to hate her guts for this name and insisting on it
Nta. I wouldnt say his name ever again. Id call him pumpkin or some cute baby nickname
My nieces partner has a long name with a perfect built in nickname and they all call him his full name all the time
‘I didn’t name him “Thomas” just to call him “Tom”!’ his mother screeches
Then why give him a name with a nickname???
I would call him Mop forever
Two options-
1 give him a nickname that isn’t a shortened veesion of his name. Stinky, Big Man, Scooch – I never called any of my kids/nephews/nieces/friend’s kids by their actual name.
2 don’t use.any name.at all. It’s either “he” or “the baby” or “the boy”.
NTA and that poor child is screwed with a mother like that.
His main name okay but none of his friends will be able to say it until they get older.
People have got to stop being creative when it comes to their kids names unless they ready to pay for a lot of therapy.
The kid isn’t even old enough to talk, and he has a jackass “curated” name you’re expected to ratte off to her replicant?
Only the AH if you give in and use his curated mouthful of noxiousness!
My nephew was named after someone who used the nickname. My SIL said nephew would use full name. Ended when he went to school. She just rolled with it, because she is not a crazy person.
When their friends call them Max inevitably i wonder if she will correct them as well.
If she’s using the kid’s full name every time she addresses him, how will he know when he’s in trouble?
Wait till Ole Maximus has an opinion. Pretty sure he’s going to go by Bob.
That poor kid when he gets to school NTA
NTA. Call your nephew “the kid / the boy / your son / junior” or anything you can come up with.
NTA. If she didn’t want her kids name shortened, she should have given him a name that couldn’t be.
Sounds to me like this kid is now “my nephew.” Any time you would have used a name, just say “my nephew” instead.
NTA
I’m curious if sister has always been this much of a pretentious pain in the ass.
NTA- does she realize the second that kid goes to school everyone and their brother is going to shorten it??
Try calling him MOP instead. Using all the first letters of his “formal” name.
Also, start calling your sister by her first, middle and last every time you interact with her.
NTA
Many people give nicknames affectionately to those they care about.
My oldest son has a somewhat unusual 4 letter first name and a main stream middle name. Think John .
My mom went to immediately call him by his initials, which would be ‘cute’ think along the lines of AJ or RJ.
My response was a calm ‘No, his name is ____ and if he chooses to go by his initials, that will be a him choice when he is older.
Ask your sister when he has to learn to spell and write this unwieldly long name as a child and write it at the top of every school assignment if he’s going to thank her in Kinder?
Her son will be given the choice in school. Maybe he will go by Maximilian or by Max. But I guarantee he will not appreciate being insisted on be called three long first names for her Instagram Views as she is using him for click fodder.
The minute ‘her vision’ was brought up, it set my hackles on edge.
Squire Sebastian Senator
https://people.com/human-interest/mom-cancels-baby-shower-after-family-ridicules-baby-name-choice-viral-reddit-post/
Nta
Your sister is going to be hated by every teacher if she throws a tantrum because the other kids “refuse to honor her sons perfectly curated name”.
NTA. He is a baby, not a piece of artwork in a gallery. You don’t “curate” a baby name. She needs a huge glass of get the “f” over yourself with a reusable straw.
Has she always been this insufferable?
NTA
Is her son’s identity that of a pretentious douche? Or is that the parents?
r/tragedeigh
NTA. Your sister seems whacko, I feel for the kid.
My cousin named his daughter a triple letter 3 name concoction. Think Amelia-Anna Avery Jones (not her real name or letter) and his wife insisted we call her Amelia-Anna. This went fine until the kid decided it was too long and she, herself, decided to just go by the first name. So your sister can try that…but the kid or his classmates will probably shorten it for him.
NTA
Your sister and her husband and her friends are delusional when your nephew goes to school the teacher won’t say his full name only first and last name when she get mad at them as well
Perhaps he’ll prefer his middle name or his involvement in sports or chosen career leads to everyone calling him by his last name? That would be the icing on the cake.
You are now Uncke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing!, correct?
Nta. In a social type way, she’s making him an outcast b4 the child has focus, let alone sees her vision.
nta she sounds exhausting
Start calling him It. then say pronouns dont matter.
Start calling him It. then say pronouns dont matter.
Nonono, NTA. But you’re missing an opportunity. Use the full name (like sis wants) every single time. Preferably four times in a given sentence, if you can. Punish her with her “curated choice”. Jam that ridiculously lengthy name down her throat until she gets sick of it. And then, when she’s heard the full name fifty seven times in half a day, muse out loud that at least you don’t have to live with people calling you your full name all day, every day.
If this doesn’t work, start using her full name.
I get it if she wanted you to call him his full first name (or full name of either of the other names). If she asked you to call him Maximilian, you should comply. Many people use full names equally long. But, wanting all 3 is rediculous. I probably would have shortened it to Max, but I know several people who hate the common nickname of their first name.
Start calling the kid IT.
So have you seen the version of Cinderella with Brandi in the starting role? Because there’s a running joke you need to see.
NTA, my sister had a daughter 15 years ago and decided to name her Scarlett. She said people wouldn’t call her Scar. Our whole family does now, including her mother.
NTA. The “look at me” name was chosen based on her own hang-ups and ego. Nobody else need buy-in.
I’m guessing this is their first child.
Give it some time and either the new parents will either realize that there are bigger issues for them to concern themselves with or you’ll be glad about the limited contact.
From this point hence, nobody but his parents will ever call him by his full name. No kids at school, no teachers, no friends. It’s how life works when you give a child a ridiculous name.
Wow. I can’t wait to see what she does when that kid goes to school. Poor guy. NTA.
Call him – and both her and her husband – their full names (if your sister changed to her husband’s last name, be sure to use your family name as well) every time you address them. Insist on the same. Family get-togethers are about to become formal and lengthy.
Of all the dumb things to go.no contact over. Just think when this child gets to school and all the teachers and kids call him Max, and this child will have no relationship with his uncle over something so ridiculous. NTA, let her have her way. When she one day years from now realizes the damage she has done to her entire family, she will have no one to blame but herself. What a stupid thing to be upset about. She obviously has way too much time on her hands.
I’m gonna be an outlier here.
You should at least be calling him Maxmilian. You are all assholes for shortening it that much. At least come up with a nickname not related to his name then, like “Bub” or something.
I’ve known two people who have names that lend themselves to nicknames – and they HATE the nicknames but love their actual names (they have significance in the familiy). As ADULTS they have to correct some assholes who don’t get it.
Think Matthew, Cynthia, Roberta. None of them want to be a Matt, Cindy, or Bobbie.
I’ve also got roots in the South (USA), and two name first names are common. (But they do tend to be 2 or 3 syllables, max. Billy Jo, etc.
I’d go for Maximilian. I much prefer it over Max, which I find icky. But Maximilian Octavius Peregrin? I’d tell her to get over herself! Nobody’s gonna do that! In English I’d not bother saying a name that long.
ETA: NTA
NTA He’s a person not an esthetic.
If your sister is wanting you to address their child by first middle and last name every single time then you are NTA. That’s exhausting.
If you are simply being lazy about not saying the child’s first name, then YTA. You’re rude and disrespectful.
On a side note, I have what is considered an unusual name. It’s not terribly long like Maximilian, but some people find it difficult to pronounce for some reason even though it’s really not. I was nicknamed my entire life all the way up until I was in high school, at least everyone except for my immediate family. It wasn’t until I got to high school that I realized nobody knew my actual name and if they did know it they didn’t even know how to spell it or pronounce it correctly. So ever since I was 16 years old I have made sure that I am never addressed by a nickname of any kind. My name is my name. I like my name. It was given to me for a reason.
Now, until your sister’s kid is old enough to decide for themselves whether they want to go buy a nickname or not, it would be respectful to address the child by their given name. To not do so just makes you a dick.
If she carries that energy forward into all her other parenting, that kid’s gonna erase his own identity as her son when he’s old enough
Omg, NTA. When I was younger and fantazing about my future children with the love of my life, I had a carefully “curated” name, Charlemagame Bartholomew Kermit (insert last name). Still love the name, but I always knew he would go by a nickname. It’s a mouthful and unrealistic to think people would address him by that.
Never had kids, and it doesn’t bother me, but if you like the way it rolls off the tongue and works with your surname, please feel free to take it.
Oh dear. The only time I use my kids full names is when they are in trouble and boy don’t they know it 😂. NTA but wow your sister is a soft one, she will get peed off with it at some point because, that’s a lot of breath to loose!
Oh lord. My sister did this. Named her son Nicholas and threw fits if anyone called him Nick. He’s almost 30 now. He goes by Nic. LOL
I have a niece who refuses to have her (now teen) son’s shortened, and had a friend that way about her son. Not full name but something like Johnathan, never Jon and Jacob, never Jake. But they didn’t expect us to use the full government name every time, just the not shortened version. The friends kid started introducing himself by the short version as he got in HS. Not wanting you to use Max instead of Maximilian is quirky but understandable. Expecting first middle last is nuts. I promise it will never survive him starting school. So NTA.
NTA, don’t use his name at all. Refer to him as “Buddy” or “hey you.”
Wait until sis needs a break or a night out. You’ll be one of the first she comes running to. Sorry sis I can’t babysit Maximilian since you want to limit his exposure. Ever.
NTA…but if she insists on formality and using all three names, you could return fire and start referring to him as “young master Lastname”.