I’m currently dating someone who has a lot of really great qualities, he has solid habits, he’s a gentle giant, and he’s very supportive. But there are also a few things that I find challenging. For example, he can suddenly get moody or make slightly snippy, sarcastic comments. It’s never anything abusive, just small things that sometimes still affect me.
I’ll admit I don’t have much experience when it comes to relationships, so I’m not totally sure how to tell if he’s “the one.” How do people actually know they’ve found the right person to marry?
Has anyone here ever felt unsure about marrying their partner, but went ahead anyway and it ended up working out well? Or is it something you should feel 100% certain about before taking that step?
Also, what would you include on a realistic checklist for a strong, healthy, and compatible long-term relationship?
TLDR I’m inexperienced with relationships, not sure if my bf is the one? How do other people know?
Comments
Different strokes for different folks. When I met my spouse, I thought they were the most attractive specimen I’d seen. When we spoke on our first call, we clicked in all the right areas. I knew after that call I was going to marry them. I had no doubt in my mind. We’ve been happy and it’s been easy ever since (you will go through tough times together but your main stressor should not be your spouse themselves), about 5 years now! But there are of course others who don’t work that way, and to them my story would seem like a fake fairytale. That’s okay- they can have a relationship their way! In my case, I just knew. When I dated before, I would try to make it work even though I was “eh” about them. Didn’t work and I was unhappy. I think falling in love with the person, NOT their potential, is crucial! The past 6 months is a good measurement on how it’ll be with them in the future. Not only do they have to also want you, but it needs to be compatible. Religion, kids preference, location, family boundaries, etc should match IMO (leads to resentment otherwise). And then they have to also be ready to commit. Sorry that’s the longest comment ever haha!
That’s quite a difficult question to answer. No relationship will ever be 100% perfect but from what you have said yours sounds pretty healthy – everyone can get moody or short tempered at times. How often does it happen? And what causes it?
As a very rough guide:
Do you trust this person?
Have you met their friends and family and have they met yours?
Do your relationship goals align, especially regarding children?
Can you talk to them about anything without fear?
I’m in the camp that if you know, you know!
If he’s the one, you don’t worry if there’s someone “better” out there or that you’re missing out, because he’s the only one you want.
Sarcastic comments aimed at you should raise an eyebrow.