My boyfriend (24M) and I (20F) have been together for about a year now. We go to the same Uni but live in different countries (I am Dutch and he is Austrian if that matters) so over the summer break we decided to visit each other.
He came to the Netherlands last month and we had a great week together so I was really looking forward to visiting his home town in rural Austria especially since the nature is breathtaking here
I was planing to stay for one month, but after being here for only five days I am already considering flying back to our university city because I am so drained.
First of, the area where he lives is EXTREMELY right-wing and I can’t have a normal conversation with anyone without them trying to lecture me about foreigners, Vegans or homosexuals.
What makes it harder is their dialect that I don’t really understand because German is not my native language (I never run into problems in Vienna) and the people’s reluctance to at least try and speak to me in a way that I might understand them.
But much, MUCH worse is his family. He has warned me about them numerous times in the past but after my five days here I feel like I already have enough material to feed 4 seasons worth of a family drama TV series…
His father is an alcoholic with anger issues, luckily I don’t see him that often.
Both his mother and sister are literal children that will pout and throw a sissy fit whenever things don’t go their way and who are constantly arguing over minor stuff which then turns into full-blown yelling battles inside the house
His uncles are also very conservative and one of them even asked me if I really wanted to finish my degree or if I want to move to their town and pretty much be my boyfriends stay-at-home-wife.
The only people I seem to get along with here are his female cousins and his grandmother.
This is just not a very welcoming atmosphere and even tough we try to get out of the house as much as possible, someone is always around to ruin the mood 🙁
Has anyone experienced similar troubles and can tell me how you coped with this? At this point I am deeply uncomfortable staying here for much longer…
Thanks,
Sincerely, a tired girlfriend
TLDR : My bf’s family irritates the heck out of me and I am trying to figure out if it’s worth staying or saving my mental health and getting out of this situation
Comments
I feel like the first mistake was planning a month stay. I would’ve done a week max to start because you don’t know what it’s like and worst case scenario is what you’re living which is that it’s terrible.
I can handle grumpy and drama for a few days, not A few weeks.
How does he feel about home? Is he aware that the ideas are tough and drama is draining? Or does he think you should suck it up? Because that’ll tell you a lot about the relationship long term.