TL;DR – My girlfriend inadvertently said she misses her ex
A bit of context – my girlfriend and I got together and “made it official” in April 2024. She had only been single 3 weeks, so obviously I had always overthought and had my insecurities, and tried my best to understand if she wasn’t fully ready ready yet.
She’d always reassure me whenever I needed it and always saying that she didn’t miss him and wouldn’t get back together with him even if she had the chance.
My overthinking was only made worse by things she’d do like – having print-out photos of them together that she kept hidden in a drawer and refused to get rid of until late 2024 (as in actively hiding them after she’d said she’d got rid), ALWAYS talking about him as in at the very least once or twice a day we spent together, and telling me “you actually have quite a lot in common with my ex” on a holiday in August, and not getting rid of cards (birthday, anniversary, valentines etc) until June this year. This list could probably go on but you get the idea, she’s done a lot of things to make me overthink.
So anyway. The main point. A few days ago she was looking for a text from last year in her chat with her mum and I happened to see something while glancing over and it went like this –
GF – “my friend bumped into (ex) today”
Mum – “everyone’s seeing him nowadays”
(As in bumping in to him)
GF – “Not me unfortunately”
This conversation happened in July 2024. Reminder we got together April 2024.
It’s the word ‘unfortunately’ that really hit me. It’s as if she would’ve rather been with him at the time instead of me. We’ve talked about it, she’s told me she’s sorry it was a horrible thing to say, bad choice of words because she would never have gotten back with him ever after the breakup, and that she’s never loved anyone as much as she loves me.
We truly are best friends nowadays and things are really really good, we moved in together 2 months ago in fact.
It’s just really hurt me. I’ve always had a bit of a complex and she knows this and she’d reassured me since day 1 but seeing this in writing has hurt me deep.
I guess I’m just questioning whether I can now actually believe her? As in when she says she never would’ve got back with him, the word ‘unfortunately’ kind of contradicts this.
Or do I even continue letting it bother me because things are so good now? The text was a year ago, we were 3 months in and things are really good now.
But I’m just seriously struggling to get over it even after talking about it with her. I’d love to know if I’m being silly looking past it because of the simple fact things are good nowadays and what others would do in my position. Any opinions, advice and reactions most welcome.