Hi everyone, l’m female 23 years old, met a guy recently. On our first date we went to a cafe. On the second, we also went to a cafe, and afterwards he invited me to his place to watch a movie.
We ended up lying on the bed, hugging and talking. At one point he wanted to kiss me, but I didn’t want to, and he respected that. Later he asked if I liked him. I said yes (not deep feelings, just that I enjoy spending time with him). He looked really surprised and didn’t say anything back.
Now I feel awkward. If he doesn’t like me, why invite me over, hug me, and try to kiss me? Since I ended a 5-year relationship, he’s the first person l’ve met after that, and I’ve never gone to a guy’s place like this before.
He hasn’t texted me since, and I feel so stupid. I keep thinking I did something bad and that I just shouldn’t have gone at all. Am I overthinking this, or is it normal to feel like I shouldn’t have gone?
TL;DR: Went to a guy’s place on our 2nd date, hugged, didn’t kiss, he looked surprised when I said I liked him, now I feel stupid and awkward.
Comments
Because you didn’t want to kiss him, he probably assumed you didn’t like him and was confused when you said you did. Maybe you can try sending him a text clarifying that you really do like him, you just like to take it slow to get to know eachother better.
From the perspective of a man, if I asked a woman if they liked me and they responded ‘yes, not deeply, but just that they like spending time with me’ I would think it was more of a friendship.
I think he invited you back to have sex, and it’s great that he respected your boundaries.
I don’t think you did anything wrong. I think he may have the perspective that you only like him as a friend.
I think it’s important to point out that you didn’t seem to indicate that you asked him how he felt about you.
The peril here is you going faster than you’re comfortable with because you feel like you did something wrong.
You mentioned that he didn’t message you. Are you saying that he didn’t reply to a message you sent?
He was surprised when you said yes, that you did like him because your actions seemed to show otherwise. He’s probs ghosting you because he doesn’t want to play games with you.
Do you like him though?
Speaking from my own experience, if a woman rejects a kiss on date two or three, it just gets awkward. You start to wonder if/when you should try again. It starts to feel like they don’t romantically like you cause, in my experience, women that romantically like me are more than willing to kiss on a 2nd date, at worst the 3rd. No exaggeration, every single time I’ve gone beyond date 3 with no kiss, it never went anywhere so I stopped going beyond 3 when the reciprocation feels low.
Being rejected isn’t exactly very motivating.