I (M22) met this girl (F21) who lives in city B and studies in city V, while I live and study in city A. We have a mutual friend who introduced us last year in city A, because the girl was visiting, and I really liked her. Shortly after that, I was in her city B, and we met there — I had an amazing 4-hour date with her. She showed me around the city, kept looking into my eyes, we always had something to talk about, I paid for something, then she insisted on returning the gesture. She promised that around Christmas she would pass through city A and let me know so we could meet. After the date, we waited for her taxi together, she went home and texted me that she had a wonderful time. I replied that I was looking forward to taking her out somewhere at Christmas.
The next day, I tried to start a conversation by asking how her day was and similar things, but she clearly wasn’t interested, so we stopped talking completely. The only message after that was me wishing her a happy birthday. Later, our mutual friend found out from me about our date in her city, and when she asked the girl about it, the girl said she didn’t really feel any romance on her side (or at least that’s what she shared).
Now, a year later, I’m back in her city. Over the past year, I’ve passed a lot of university courses, so in my final year I’ll have plenty of free time. I also started my first job, which I really enjoy and which pays well. I’m not sure if she knows any of this from our mutual friend. A little before I arrived, our mutual friend told me that she and the girl haven’t spoken for about a month because they had a falling out (I listened to the story, and I’m 100% sure our mutual friend is in the right, while the girl wronged her, but still hasn’t tried to reconcile at least so far).
Today I texted the girl that I’m in town and would be really happy if she has the time and wants to meet up. After a few hours she replied that she would also be glad, but since she’s not on good terms with our mutual friend, she thinks meeting me wouldn’t feel right in regard to her. I wrote back that I knew about the situation but I don’t want to get involved, and that I’d just like to meet up casually. Her reply was: “Sorry, but that’s how I’d feel. Anyway, have a great time in city B.” In the end, I just liked her message and that’s it.
Now I feel really bad, because I had hopes that maybe things could work out between us this time. I don’t know if that’s the real reason she gave me, or if she just used it as an excuse to avoid meeting up and it sounded good enough. What do you think? What should I do, how do I stop feeling so down, and do I actually have any real chance with her?
TL;DR:
I (M22) really liked a girl (F21) I met last year, we had a great date but she lost interest afterward. A year later I texted her while visiting her city, but she refused to meet, saying it would feel wrong because she’s fallen out with our mutual friend (who introduced us). I can’t tell if that’s the real reason or just an excuse, and I feel pretty down about it. Wondering if there’s still any chance or if I should just move on.
Comments
Move on. You should only date people excited to date you.