Pretty much the title. It happened a few months ago, and honestly, it’s not going well.
She was a huge TikTok teen and made some videos of her own and gained like 10k followers doing so. I know she’s able to make some income out of it, but we are talking about 50€ per month at most.
Since she was 16/17, she was actively following female content creators who are quite widely criticized for giving toxic advice. Her favourites are people like Shera Seven or Wizard Liz.
Anyway… since early this year, she’s been doing „money manifestations“ which i guess is fine because I didn’t think it was really that serious. Then, she was convinced that because she’s pretty, she can leave uni to find a rich guy. And she did. She lived with her ex a bit who was like 7 years older, but he ended up breaking up with her, and now she’s in a tough position. She has moved back in with her mom while figuring out the next step. All of this happened in less than 7 months.
Her main hobby at the moment is sitting at the bar downstairs the local Ritz, hoping that she will run into some rich guy. Or she will go into our local expensive shopping center and „look lost“ outside of the Dior shop. It’s so pathetic and stupid.
I’m just tired. I’m not sure if they have local TikTok detox Centers for people like her.
How do I deal with this? Do I just step out of the picture completely and let her be, or try to help?
TLDR: sisters brain was poisoned by TikTok and now she has wrecked her life.
Comments
women have been marrying rich guys for thousands of years. same as men checking out women’s asses. i dunno if tiktok is the culprit here.
my advice: talk to her about her life choices but dont focus or worry about tiktok.
She’s very immature and not aware how unsafe her future is. Sit down with her with an financial adviser, or retirement, and show her her potential future
Is she expecting you to pay her bills or asking for constant favors? If not, then I don’t think this is your business tbh. As long as she’s not hurting herself or others, she’s not doing anything wrong. If her life choices are so abhorrent to you, then cut contact and move on with your life.
You don’t actually have any responsibility to “fix” her. She’s an adult, and the harder you push her to change, the more likely she is to dig in and resent you. You can decide what kind of relationship you want: if you want her in your life, then the best thing you can do is step back, let her make her own decisions, and try not to judge. If you don’t want to be around someone who’s living this way, it’s also okay to create some distance. Either choice is valid, but her choices aren’t yours to manage.
You don’t deal with it. You step away. It’s her life after all. Frankly, she’s an idiot and she’s old enough to face some tough consequences. She’d better be going to school.
What does her Mom say?
She’ll learn the hard way.
good lord idk how anyone watches sheraseven’s videos and goes “yeah I want that life.” That woman seems to actively dislike her husband, and also doesn’t really seem to like anyone else.
And she’s ALWAYS livestreaming and pumping out content… why would a rich housewife be sitting on a livestream all day? Don’t they like… go skiing or boating? Why is she spending so much time just sitting on a camera in her dingy house?
Anyway, you know your sister best. Maybe talk to her about what specifically she wants out of this lifestyle, what her hopes and fears are.
She could just be afraid of adulthood-as-she-imagines-it, and is hoping that marrying a wealthy man will allow her to opt out, not realizing that “when you marry for money, you earn every cent.”
I’d also try to convey to her that rich men do not not marry uneducated teenagers who are doing nothing but hanging around the mall. That really is social media nonsense.
Melinda Gates married Bill at 29, when he was in his thirties, and she had THREE degrees from good universities. Both of Bezos’ wives were pretty age appropriate, college educated and successful in their own rights.
Even “lesser rich” type dudes mostly marry women with reasonably similar educational backgrounds. Granted, they do not seem to mind if she has a lower-paying job or a lower net worth, but rich men really are not optimizing for tight asses and perky tits at the expense of everything else.
You tend not to get or stay rich by being that stupid.
I used to work for a brokerage firm and I saw MAYBE ONE case of a well-off businessman marrying a much younger trophy. (and if I recall correctly, even then, she came from a family that was land-rich and cash-poor. Her husband had a lot of cash, wanted to retire early to his outdoors pursuits and well… surely it is just coincidence that his bride’s father was hanging onto a few thousand acres of largely undeveloped land by the skin of his teeth. She came off like a shy, sheltered little country girl, and on paper, yeah, she was broke as a joke, but that was not the whole story, at all. A bit like a redneck Young Princess Di.)
The rest married women who were pretty clearly their intellectual and social equals. They went to the same kinds of schools, had the same kinds of friends, enjoyed a lot of the same activities, were pretty similar in age… frankly, generally came from the same kinds of families to begin with.
Anyway, if your sister really wants to marry a successful dude, she needs to at least have the education to socialize in the circles these men are in without sounding like an blithering idiot, and probably some real-world experience after college, too.
That’s the kind of women they take seriously enough to actually marry.
And talk to her about other alternative lifestyles. There are a lot of ways to be an adult other than “9-5 office job” or “tradwife” and maybe one of those would appeal to her. Vanlife, au pair, backpacking, homesteading, trades, travel nursing, crust punks, communes, convent, idk lol
I hope she’s attractive, otherwise thats not gonna work
What do you do? You mind your own business and let her live her life, consequences, and all.
I predict that if it doesn’t hit $200k, it won’t hit $1 million
Oooof. I’m sorry. Probably the best thing to do would be to start by inviting out with some more normal people so that she starts to see how other people work and live.
My main issue with this is how stupid her idea is, she expects a random rich guy to approach her in some random bar…like if you’re going to do this atleast make the most out of the social media account you’ve already built lmao
Holy shit. I thought you meant she met a rich guy and dropped out to marry him. Which, yeah, would be a pretty terrible idea. But she doesn’t even HAVE the rich guy? She just dropped out for no reason and thinks one will magically come along??
…I hate to say it, but she may not have been college material in the first place.
I guess one way you could try and get her back on a reasonable path is by pointing out she’s way more likely to meet a rich guy at all if she goes back to school, gets a good degree, and then gets a good job. They don’t all just turn up in your basement when the cold weather starts like spiders.
But really, this is not your hill to die on. I get that you want to help but some people are only going to learn the hard way.
women who marry for money earn every dime. run. away. (watched my aunt do it. her husband was so gross
Don’t people usually wait until after they’ve married the rich dude to drop out of college? Maybe she just didn’t like uni hahaha. I bet she’ll get bored of hanging around and figure out what she wants to do, if she starts dating some horrible guy then I would start worrying.
Better let her know most actual rich men are into women with something to offer lol not broke unemployed college dropouts.
How rich is she looking for? I’m solid middle class 😛
You might have to sit her down and have a serious talk with her. I mean, if she wants to be a trophy wife, there’s nothing you can do. Unfortunately, that tale is as old as time. But it’s not going to be as easy as she thinks. Most wealthy men would rather rent a woman like that than marry her. The ones that marry as trophy wives aren’t just good looking. They know how to support their husband and keep up appearances.
As shitty as it is, stay in your lane unless it’s actively hurting you. This isn’t a Tiktok issue, this is her issue and it’s more common than you think. Luckily she is young enough to make mistakes and learn from it, or not. She might just crash and burn. Keeping her close and trying to work with her through this could end up hurting you and dragging you down.
When she does crash, do NOT become her roommate to try and keep her afloat. A lot of people have learned the hard way that roommates are a semi-permanent arrangement and it can be a painful process to get the tenant removed from the property, lease or no lease.
TLDR: She needs to sink or swim.
Honestly, her choice of hotel bar is a little dated, but the strategy is still a sound one.
The problem is the desperation scent she is putting off- tell her to go get a certification in a hot-chick career like Yoga Instructor or Designer, so that she has somewhere to go/something to do when she meets rich guys in the hotel bar- it’s the Have a Job to Get a Job of gold digging, because hanging out in hotel bars as a career is the reddest of flags.
I’m gonna go a slightly different way here and suggest that you do absolutely nothing. Do not get involved.
Your sister is exhibiting standard garbage human behaviour. She needs to FAFO and either learn from it,or double down and be one a worse person. Either way, you’d be better not to get involved. This is a lesson that she has to learn on her own.
I wonder if you should drop out of college to marry a rich guy cuz reddit is telling you to.
She hasn’t really wrecked her life, not quite yet at least. She hasn’t been hitched to some rando creep yet and she’s still young. But at the same time curb your expectations as to how much you can do. The best you can do is to be honest with her but at the end of the day it’s her life and she sounds fairly far gone to be set straight from just a good talk. So unless you’re willing to play mom and dad for her and baby her until she straightens out the best you can do is to talk to your parents about it to make sure they’re not enabling her. She might be more inclined to listen to those keeping a roof over her head. And if anything the problem may start with the parents to begin with.
Yikes rofl just tell her to cut out the middle man and make an onlyfans
She’s still young. When the rich guy thing doesn’t work out, she can go back to school. I’d just let her figure it out for herself for now.
She needs therapy in your parents. Should make it a nonnegotiable for living with them. TikTok isn’t to blame for the way your sister behaves they just made it easy for her to think it was OK. At 19 it’s OK to make bad decisions. However, not learning basic life skills and how to take care of herself she could be trapped in a relationship that’s really toxic and not ever be able to find a way out. Women have been marrying men for money since they started being traded for property. But these of relationships often turn abusive because they themselves in a place with no place to go
I also feel like in this economy. The idea of being taken care of is very alluring because everything is so unstable. But young women don’t understand how volatile a sugar baby relationship can be without being specific groundwork. That only comes with having self-confidence and knowing yourself. Also going to a bar and hanging out outside the Dior store…. pretty doesn’t mask desperate she could look like a 90s supermodel and it desperation is using out of her pores. No one would touch her with a 10 foot pole. She has to have other stuff going on for her she’s repellent.
You aren’t her parent and the person in question is an adult…..
I mean… how rich?
Tell her rich men want to marry an educated, accomplished woman. And if it doesn’t work, you did your best. Hard to convince someone whose brain is this broken. Sorry!
Shera Seven says herself that rich man don’t go for uneducated women, they go for people who have things in common with them, like rich background, similar education, same friends.
She’s a bit of an idiot but it doesn’t sound like she’s hurting anyone other that herself. And she’s young, she has more that time to fix her mistakes, so maybe just let it go.
She can do both?? I don’t understand
She is an adult. She made an adult choice and now she will have to deal with life.
Frankly, if she’s pretty enough, she probably has a better than even chance of getting rich(er) guy attention if she hangs out in the right places. The problem is that wealthier men don’t really want to marry 19 YO doofuses. Having sex with them is fine, maybe even being a sugar daddy, but 19 YO bimbos with high school educations, aren’t really all that desirable as mate material. That’s really more of a thing for women with college educations.
Younger, marriage age wealthy men aren’t typically idiots, and they are usually looking for some solid character and gravitas in their brides. She might be able to be a “kept” woman, if she can convince some wealthy man she’s yummy enough, but marriage is a stretch at her age.
Oh, and stay out of it. There’s nothing you can do with idiots, and on the off chance she hits the rich guy jackpot, her “I told you so’s” will be unending.
She should value herself more. All girls need their education before marrying – rich or not. One must protect oneself for the future.
She desperately needs some accomplished female mentors. Could you two join a women’s club together as a sister thing?
Let her be, she is not your problem. Ughhh
One of my friend’s younger sister was the same. Always trying to get into London’s glitzy clubs in the hope of becoming a WAG. I remember telling her that the guy who wanted to take photos of her Lolita-style to “help her become a model” had some very different goal in mind.
In 90% of the cases, girls don’t end up with a husband but with customers — you know what I mean. There are always old rich perverts ready to buy their bodies in exchange for a Dior purse and many false promises.
Tell her she is more likely to get a rich guy who wants to marry her if she is a student. Rich guys want wives who actually do something with their lives. They differentiate between the girls they want to f— and the girls they want to marry.
Very seriously, in Paris I used to know girls from very rich families who wanted to marry guys from very rich families so they would not have to work and could keep up with the Kardashians. They were all enrolled at university because the guys from very rich families they were targeting would have found it odd if they were not doing anything.
Girl your sister is just dumb plain and simple. She doesn’t even have the man!! She’s just lazy and doesn’t want to study
There isn’t much you can do. Just stay in touch so that when things fall apart, and they will, she has someone she can trust to help her recover.
She should have stayed in college and gotten her “Mrs.” degree.
the crazy thing about these girls is that their desperation for a rich man means they will never have one. anyone on tiktok giving tips on how to land one is a fraud and anyone claiming they already have one is also probably a fraud, real rich wives don’t spend all day flaunting their lifestyle on tiktok live.
you can try to tell her that but she probably won’t believe you.
You can’t do a thing. She’s an adult. A sad one, but an adult nonetheless.
Just be there for her when she finally comes to her senses or becomes a single mother after trying to baby trap some poor schmuck who will still not marry her. Until then, just stay at her like she’s pathetic whenever she talks about her “love life”.
That’s disturbing to my core. Humanity is truly one of a kind.
What do you mean? How is this your problem?
Tell her to use seeking.com to find a new sugar daddy.
Just tell her to be very careful.
This is how people end up in financial abusive situations or even end being trafficked.
Good luck, op!
oh no the consequences of her actions
Man shes on the expedite path to become a prostitute. Just one single hook up and it’s over for her reading from her immaturity. You are not her mom and shes a grown up kid atm. Not much you can do. Maybe offer her to live with you so you guys can talk? This is the responsibility of the parents.
We used to joke that women like your sister that actually stayed in school graduated with a Mrs. degree.
She’s 19, just relax. Eventually she will move on from the fantasy and develop a new goal. At least she is getting the phase out of the way early on so she’ll have time to go back to school or pursue a career
She can always finish school after she takes half in the divorce. #getthebag
Leave her to it
If she’s making huge life decisions based on tik tok videos then I think her problem is bigger than just this. How does she function as an adult day-to-day?
Tell her rich men like educated women. Maybe it will work.
Your step sister is being groomed.
Nothing. It’s her life
Let her live her life the way she wants. What do you think you could even do about it?
Sorry, but it’s really none of your business if she wants to be a gold digger trophy wife. You might point out that life turned out awful for some women who pursued such a life.
But bottom line, you seem to be more about judging your sister than loving her. Maybe you’re the jealous “less attractive” sister, we don’t know.
Anyway, quit judging people and just try to live your best life.
Why do you feel you need to ‘deal with this’?
Mind your own business.
People have to make their own mistakes. Maybe it will work out for her but hasn’t yet. But regardless – she’s gotta learn on her own that this was a silly decision. You can’t fix it for her and she’s not going to listen to you anyway. Let her fail.
Stay friendly for when she gets half.
Unpopular opinion: Support her, but not financially or with housing.
If this fails (and there’s a high likelihood it will), she’s gonna need family to fall back on.
Make sure to occasionally emphasize the part where rich guys value having college educated girlfriends and wives in the hopes of straightening her out.
And IF it works, make sure she doesn’t sign a prenup.
That’s wild! From TikTok fame to financial freedom in 7 months. 😮
pretty sure shera seven tells ppl to have a backup plan like a degree in case the rich guy thing doesn’t work out
Nobody “Told” her too. IF she is really so stupid that she can be manipulated by tictok so easily, shes probably best off marrying some rich guy. Seems stupid.