TL;DR: I thought this really aware and great guy was finally being honest and now he’s dating someone after sobbing he had to be alone forever… what the heck.
Hi all, I’m usually a lurker on here and love to read and take advice from other situations but felt like this was specific enough that it warranted personal advice.
So I’m a 25 F and I met this guy 26 M at a mutual friends party last year in November, we hit it off instantly and I really thought we were going to date.
3 months in, he tells me a traumatic story about something in college which made him stay away from relationships and he felt he still wasn’t ready so he could not date me. I totally totally get that, walked away with grace and accepted the situation for what it was. In moments of weakness I’d think that he just didn’t like me, but he was crying and telling me not to think that and to also not block him and asked if we could catch up once in a while. I told him I’d reach out when j was ready
Fast forward 4.5 months later and I find out he’s back on the dating apps and has brought around a girl to our mutual friend. (She later told me that two weeks after, he said they were over because she would get blackout drunk and berate him) At the time, I didn’t know any of this and had reached out just to say I hoped things were well (I feel like such a stupid idiot for that)
My whole thing is that he literally trauma dumps this awful story to me and then he’s back on the dating apps introducing a girl to our friend after he’s sobbing at telling me he can’t be with ANYONE. Like what!?! It makes me feel like the whole thing was a big elaborate lie to not be the bad guy. And this girl is literally the opposite of me, stick thin, blonde. So I was never your type and you dragged this shit on??
I just can’t get over the lying and how disillusioned I feel, like Khloe K said, “the truth hurts once, but a lie hurts a thousand times”
Any insight here? What the F is going on!!